Secrets
by krystalsteph
Summary: She is terrified of commitment. He hates strings. It's seems completely perfect until something unexpected happens... This is a different take on season one & two, but it follows a lot of the same story lines, with one VERY notable difference. Rated M for a reason!
1. Impulse

I have no idea if many people spend much time on this board anymore, but I'm been watching Rookie Blue reruns for some reason and ideas keep popping in my head. Let me know if you are actually reading!

This story will follow the show with one notable difference. It's rated M for a reason.

Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue.

===========SECRETS===========

"Let me take you home," he offers. It's then that she notices how close they are to each other. God, she is way too close to him.

She can see him looking at her lips and she can't deny that she stole a glance at him. She can't stop herself from wondering what they would feel like on hers. And he is still holding her hand in what used to be a handshake, but has suddenly become more. His hands are softer than she thought they would be and she can't help but wonder how they would feel if they were running all over her body.

She's trying to stop these thoughts, but she can't. Maybe she's just buzzed from the three shots of whiskey she had at the bar or maybe she's just desperate because it's been so long or maybe it's the traces of Sam's muscles peeking through his t-shirt and his soft lips only inches from hers and his hands holding on to her.

"McNally…" He says. It's this low and husky voice that she's never heard from him before and it's making it harder to shake the thoughts swirling in her head.

She sees him leaning forward and she thinks for a second that maybe she should stop him. It's her first week on the job. He's her training officer. They're standing in a parking lot while their entire division is drinking in the bar, only a few feet away. She knows this is a bad idea, but for some reason, she just can't care enough to stop him. Suddenly, she feels herself leaning forward as well.

When their lips meet, he immediately pulls her by the waist so she's flush against him. She runs her hands up and down his back while his tongue explores her mouth. She lets out an involuntary moan as he nips at her lip and runs his hand just barely under the hem of her shirt.

"Wanna get out of here?" He asks, when they finally pull away. That low and husky voice is making an appearance again and she doesn't hate it.

"Yes," she says simply, before jumping in his truck.

The car ride is quiet as Sam continues to steal glances at his rookie, while he drives them to his place.

"I can practically hear you thinking, McNally," he says, mockingly.

"This is a really bad idea," she spits out. "We work together. It's my first week on the job. You're my training officer for God's sake. This is definitely against the rules," she continues.

"So, you want me to just take you home then?" He asks, trying to hide his disappoint.

She lets out a sigh. She knows this is a horrible idea, but in all honestly, she still doesn't want to go home. Maybe it's the liquor swirling in her stomach or maybe it's the fact that she hasn't had sex in six months, but she _really_ doesn't want to go home. The way he kissed her, the way his hands felt against her bare skin… she _really_ wants to finish what they started.

"We cannot tell _anyone_ ," she declares and a smirk escapes from his lips.

"Okay," he agrees.

"And it's just sex, okay? We're not dating. You're my training officer," she reminds him. He chuckles internally. _Right because dating your training officer is so much worse than sleeping with him._

"Okay, McNally," he concurs.

"And it should probably just be a one-time thing. Tomorrow we should just go back to being training officer and rookie and pretend it never happened," she declares.

"Okay," he repeats.

"Good," she says with a nod.

The rest of the ride is quiet until Sam pulls up at his apartment. "We're here," he announces as if she doesn't already know.

Andy jumps out of the truck and follows him inside.

"You want a drink?" He asks, holding up the bottle of scotch he retrieved from the cabinet.

"Sure," she says with a nod as she drums her fingers on his kitchen counter. She looks around the apartment. It's nice. It's not the stereotypical bachelor pad she would have expected.

He hands her the drink and watches her down the entire thing. He lets out a quiet chuckle as he takes a sip of his own. Andy takes the bottle from the counter and pours herself another glass. She doesn't drink the entire thing this time, but she doesn't take a small sip either.

Sam sets his drink down on the counter and walks closer to her. His hands on her waist as if it's the most normal thing in the world.

"Andy, relax," he tells her. She isn't sure if he's ever used her first name before, but she kind of likes the way it sounds coming out of his mouth. His hands fall to her hips and he sneaks his hands under the hem on her shirt. His thumb starts to run in circles on her bare skin and somehow, it actually starts to calm her down. She is biting her lip when she glances up at him. The look in his eyes is burning a hole through her. _Those eyes_.

"You okay?" He probes, as if he's asking her permission.

She nods and then pulls him down to her until their lips meet. The second they do, his hands slide even further up her back and she wraps her arms around his neck. They just stand there kissing for a few moments, their tongues fighting for control. His hand is tangled in her hair as Andy starts to fidget with his shirt, trying to raise it over his head. He obliges and tosses his shirt somewhere over his shoulder.

Her hands are immediately running all over his muscular chest and back. He lets out a breath, relishing the feeling of her soft hands touching his skin. He needs more contact, so he lifts her shirt over her head and tosses it with his. He pulls her closer, so she is pressed against him and then he starts to kiss her neck. He is sucking at her skin as she lets out a moan from deep in her throat, encouraging him to continue. He begins to nip at her ear, eliciting another moan from her as she throws her head back, savoring the feeling of his mouth on her.

When he starts to work his way back down her neck and towards her collarbone she begins to unbuckle his belt. She can already feel how hard he is as she cups him through his jeans, causing a groan to escape his lips. When she lets go, he lifts her up and she wraps her legs around his hips and begins kissing his neck as he carries her to his bedroom.

He lies her down gently as he climbs on top of her so her bent knees are on either side of him. He starts to kiss her again as he reaches around her and unhooks her bra. He pushes it off her shoulders and throws it on the floor before pressing himself against her, so he can feel her breasts rubbing against him. He runs his tongue around the edge of her ear, causing her to tremble. After a minute or two, he pulls away and cups her breast, running his thumb over her nipple. They were an absolute perfect handful.

He then moves his head down and takes her nipple in his mouth, gently licking and sucking, while she lets out a series of moans as she runs her hands up and down his back. He gives her other nipple some attention before he moves back to her lips. His hands starts to run up and down her thigh until he eventually cups her ass.

As much as she's enjoying the foreplay, she is starting to get impatient.

She reaches down to unbutton his jeans and pushes them down his leg, allowing him to twist out of them. She squeezes him through his boxers as he rocks his hips towards her.

Now it's him who's getting impatient.

He quickly unbuttons her jeans and helps her wriggle out of them before tossing them aside. He then slowly removes her little black thong, sliding it down her leg before throwing it over his shoulder. He can see that she is just as turned on as he is and he instinctively licks his lips.

She looks up at him with a smile before she pushes his boxers down his legs. Once he's free, she grabs him again, causing him to take suck in a breath.

"Sam…" she says, much more desperate than she intended. She is guiding him towards her, biting her lip in anticipation. He stops, causing her to frown involuntarily.

"Protection?" He asks, breathlessly.

"I'm on the pill," she says, distractedly, trying to direct him inside of her. Suddenly she is thankful for the debilitating cramps she used to have, forcing her to get on the pill even though she wasn't having sex. She doesn't think she'd be able to wait long enough for him to put on a condom.

He nods before he thrusts inside her, never taking his eyes off her, so he can enjoy her reaction. She lets out a gasp and he pushes the hair out of her face, wanting a completely unobstructed view as he pulls in and out of her.

For the first few minutes, he is slow and deliberate, almost teasing.

She is pleading with her eyes and with her heavy breathing, but he continues to torture her as he gradually thrusts in and out of her while running his hands all over her body, trying to commit every inch and every curve of her body to memory, so he'll never forget.

When he finally can't take anymore, he speeds up the tempo, which Andy encourages immediately.

"God… Sam…" she moans as she closes her eyes and arches her back. He slowly lifts her thigh, allowing him to go deeper, which only intensifies the appreciative noises coming from the beautiful, naked woman lying in his bed. He continues like this for another five minutes before he quickens the pace again and begins to suck on her neck, already noticing the marks he's left from before.

She's digging her fingers into his back as she calls out his name again. He's pretty sure he's never heard anyone say his name like that and he definitely wants to hear it again.

She bends her other knee, allowing him to go even deeper, causing _him_ to groan this time. "Andy…" he says softly against her skin. He's nibbling her ear now as she continues to let out these breathy gasps each time he pushes inside her. The sounds coming out of this woman are driving him absolutely insane.

She's starting to clamp down on him. That and the volume of the noises she's making tells him that she's close. Thank God because he doesn't think he can hold out much longer.

He starts to go faster until they both begin to shudder. He watches her the entire time, reveling in the effect he is having on her.

Moments later, Sam is still inside of her as they attempt to catch their breath.

"Wow…" she says in between breaths. She isn't sure if it's because it's been so long or if it's just Sam, but she is unequivocally certain that it was the best sex she'd ever had.

As they catch their breath, Sam rolls off of her and lies beside her, on his back as he runs his fingers through his hair.

"Was it just me or was that like… really, _really_ good?" She asks, glancing over at him with a smile.

"It wasn't just you," he informs her, causing her smile to widen.

"I'm kind of regretting what I said earlier about it being a one-time thing," she admits, as she flips over on her stomach and props herself up on her elbows.

"Oh yeah?" He asks, raising an eyebrow, as he turns on his side so he is facing her.

"Yeah," she says with a slight blush forging its way down her cheeks.

"Well it doesn't have to be a one-time thing," he offers, as he pushes a lock of hair out of her face. Truthfully, he can't stand the thought of never doing that again.

"Sam…" she warns. As much as she would _really_ like to do that again, she knows it is a bad idea. Doing it once was stupid, but doing it more than that? Completely idiotic. "You're my training officer. There are rules against this sort of thing," she reminds him.

"I can keep a secret," he tells her, inching a bit closer to her.

"I'm sure you can, but… this… this is a bad idea," she says, although she doesn't sound completely sure. "We agreed that this was a one-time thing, remember? Tomorrow, we pretend it never happened," she reminds him, echoing her words from earlier.

He briefly breaks eye contact and glances over at the clock on the nightstand before returning his focus to her. "Well it's not tomorrow yet," he informs her with a suggestive smile.

"Hmm… that's true," she smirks as she leans in closer to him.

"Yes it is," he says softly before pressing his lips against her and wrapping his arms around her, pulling her flush against his chest. She wraps her leg around him, pushes him on his back and ends up straddling him in one swift move.

"Smooth," he chuckles as his hands land on her waist.

"Thank you," she smiles before leaning in to kiss him again.

This time they are much less desperate, effectively taking their time while still being just as passionate. She sighs into his mouth as he cups her breasts and runs his thumbs over her nipples.

She begins to suck gently on his neck, enjoying the groans coming out of his mouth and the feeling of him hardening against her. She's rather impressed considering it hasn't been more than ten minutes since the last time.

A few minutes later, she is biting her lip as she slowly lowers herself onto him. He runs his hands up and down her back as he watches the expression of completely pleasure on her face, which only turns him on more.

"God…" she says as she starts to circle her hips. A smile creeps over him as he enjoys the view of a naked Andy McNally bouncing up and down on him.

Twenty minutes later, Sam's fingers are tangled in Andy's hair as she collapses against him, completely breathless. He nudges her face towards him so he can capture her lips for one more kiss. Eventually, Andy pulls herself off of him and gets out of bed in order to hunt for her clothes. And as she traces around his room, he sits up in his bed and happily enjoys the view while committing every image to memory.

"Can you give me a ride home?" She asks, when she realizes that he isn't getting out of bed.

"You don't have to rush out, you know," he tells her as he gets up and steps into his boxers.

"It's late, I gotta get home," she says with a shrug as she throws her shirt on over her head.

"Yeah, it is almost midnight," he says softly as he throws his own shirt on. And once again, he's faced with the reality that he may never get to see her like this again.

Truthfully, he's not loving it.

===========SECRETS===========

The car ride to Andy's is quiet. She's been fidgeting with her hands and staring out the window ever since she buckled her seatbelt. The high she had been on is fading quickly and now all she is left with are the thoughts swirling through her head.

She's still in a bit of shock over the night's events.

It's just that, this is all so unlike her. She still can't believe she actually just slept with her training officer.

And now that she has, all she can do is hope and pray that it won't affect her job.

But the thing is, he hasn't said anything since they left his place and it just feels so awkward between them.

And awkward is the last thing she wants.

"I don't want things to be weird with us," she says suddenly, as she turns to face him for the first time since she got in the car.

He glances over at her, meeting her doe-eyed gaze. "It won't be weird," he promises, before returning his eyes to the road.

"Good," she says with a nod. He seems sincere enough, which is reassuring. "I really don't want anything to get in the way of you being my training offer… I know- I know I can learn a lot from you," she tells him.

"Sucking up to the boss, McNally?" He asks, as a smile traces his lips. "I like it," he declares with a grin.

And with that, they both laugh and suddenly, things are back to normal.

===========SECRETS===========

Let me know what you think!


	2. Nerves

Thanks for all of the positive reviews from last chapter, they are my motivation!

Just so you know, the first few chapters begin with the premise that there are a few weeks between episode 2 and episode 3.

Disclaimer: As always, I don't own Rookie Blue.

===========SECRETS===========

"Sam!" She yells as she chases him down the hallway after Parade. Her fists are clenched and she is absolutely livid.

"Hey McNally," he says when he turns around to see her. His tone is utterly nonchalant and his expression is completely unreadable. He looks almost amused at her apparent anger, which of course only makes her angrier.

"What the hell!" She shouts. She's just so pissed that it's honestly the only thing she can think to say.

"What?" He asks, looking even more amused than before. He knows exactly why she's pissed, but he wants her to say it. He wants to tease her a bit.

She takes a deep breath before ushering him into the kitchen so they can have a bit more privacy. She looks around and when she is sure that no one will hear them, she finally turns back to him.

"You promised that last night wouldn't change anything between us. You said that it wouldn't interfere with work," she reminds him.

"Yes I did," he agrees without any further explanation, which only makes her more frustrated. He is not going to make this easy.

"We're not riding together today," she explains, as if he even needs an explanation. He knows why she's upset and the fact that he's making her say it is making her even more pissed.

"I know," he admits again.

She takes another deep breath. She is determined not to give him what he wants.

"Does that have something to do with last night?" She asks, trying to act calm, despite the fact that her mind is going a million miles a minute.

"It does not," he assures her with a shake of his head.

She narrows her eyes at him and crosses her arms. "I find that hard to believe," she declares.

"Believe it, McNally."

She grits her teeth. "Sam…" she begins.

"Jeez, McNally, it's just _one_ day. I know you'll miss me, but I'm sure you'll survive," he teases her, while wiggling his eyebrows.

"Are you sure it's only going to be one day?" She asks, narrowing her eyes.

"Yes."

"What makes you think that?" She asks. She is getting sick of this game and he can tell, so he decides it's time to let her off the hook.

"I may have lost a bet to Oliver…" he tells her with a smirk. She wants to be angry, but the expression on his face is making it hard to hold back the laughter.

"Do tell," she encourages him, as she bites her lip, trying to hold back the smile. The tension has left her body for the moment as she waits for him to elaborate.

"He's making me take Epstein today," he says with a frown.

"Ah," she says, finally allowing her smile to appear. "I can't even imagine how much you'll enjoy that," she says, sarcastically.

"Trust me, I'd way rather be riding with you, McNally," he informs her.

"Oh I bet you would," she says a little more suggestively than she intended.

He playfully rolls his eyes while a smile plays on his lips. "So… are we good? Can I go now?" He teases.

"I guess," she mocks with an eye roll. "But you could've told me," she adds.

"What's the fun in that?" He asks, flashing his dimples. Besides, she's hot when she's angry.

She rolls her eyes at him again and shakes her head, but he doesn't miss the small smile spreading on her lips.

"Have a good shift, McNally," he tells her before walking out of the kitchen.

"You too," she says, calling after him. He turns back, flashing a smile at her, before disappearing from her sight.

She lets out an audible sigh. Nothing has changed between them. They can still work together. Everything will be fine. Tomorrow everything will go back to normal and she can forget that last night ever happened.

Yes, it will all be fine.

===========SECRETS===========

"You seem distracted today, McNally," Oliver tells her as he taps his fingers against the steering wheel.

"Hm? No, I'm fine," she assures him, although she knows it's a lie.

The truth is, she _is_ distracted. She just can't stop thinking about the night before. She can't stop thinking about Sam.

And what makes it even worse is that she keeps running into him. He'll walk by her at a crime scene and she'll catch a whiff of his shampoo, causing her to instantly flash back to last night. Suddenly she's rolling around in his sheets again- his mouth on her neck, his hands on her waist and his legs tangled with hers.

It's making it extremely difficult to concentrate.

And seriously, the fact that she can't get him out of her head is driving her absolutely crazy. He is the last person she should be thinking about. He's her training officer and what they did, it's so against the rules.

But then she walks right into him at the scene of a four car pile-up and he puts his hand on her to keep her from falling over, and suddenly she is transformed to his bedroom again. Suddenly she can feel his breath on her neck, his tongue in her ear, and his hands grabbing her ass.

Seriously, how she is ever going to work with him again?

She's survived months without sex and after one night with Sam, she can't think about anything else. If she was hoping to get it out of her system, she failed miserably.

If anything, she only wants it more. Much more.

===========SECRETS===========

Hours later, she is at the Penny drinking her third beer while Dov enthusiastically tells the rest of the rookies about his day with Swarek. Andy is only half listening because Sam is sitting at the bar and she can't stop staring at him. The way his muscles flex under his t-shirt. The way his hands are gripping the curve of the beer bottle. The way he absent-mindedly licks his lips every so often. The way his eyes light up and his dimples appear when he laughs.

She can't look away.

He almost catches her staring for the third time when she finally decides she needs to go splash some water on her face. She disappears to the bathroom, throws some cold water on her face and gives herself a mental pep talk.

She walks out of the bathroom determined to forget about Sam, but her plan is short lived when she steps into the hallway and there he is. He's leaning against the wall as if he's waiting for her.

"You see something you like, McNally?" He asks, flirtatiously.

He's seen her staring. Several times, actually.

He knows what she's thinking. He has been thinking exactly the same thing all day.

Now that he knows exactly what is under her uniform, it's not easy to concentrate when she's around.

"What?" She asks, as he takes a step closer, inching his way into her personal space.

"You were _staring_ ," he reminds her, with a cocky smile on his face.

"No I wasn't," she argues, hating that he has the upper hand. He takes another step forward so his face is only inches from hers. He looks down at his hands, as they play with the hem of her shirt and skim her hip bone every so often.

"Wanna get out of here?" He asks with a smile as he eventually meets her gaze.

"Yes," she says without hesitation.

"Let's go," he tells her, before pulling her outside with him before anyone notices.

Minutes later, they are driving down the street in his truck as Andy nervously taps her fingers on her knee. She glances over at him and decides she does not want to wait.

"Have you ever had sex in your truck?" She asks.

He glances at her, completely surprised by her line of questioning, but when he sees the way she's looking at him and the way she's biting her lip, a smile spreads across his face.

"Someone's impatient," he teases.

"You can pull in down there," she says pointing down the street, completely ignoring his teasing.

"My apartment is literally ten minutes away. You really can't wait that long?" He asks unable to hold back his grin.

"C'mon, don't tell me you've never fantasized about it," she says, suggestively.

"Hmm… So does that mean that _you've_ fantasized about having sex in my truck, McNally?" He asks with a smirk.

"Shut up," she demands. "Pull in here," she orders, pointing to the almost empty parking lot on the left.

"Okay, okay," he says with a laugh. When he parks the truck and turns the car off he turns to look at her and sees that she is already taking her seatbelt off and jumping out of the truck. He follows her lead and slips outside before joining her in the backseat, where she is already unbuttoning her own jeans.

"Take off your pants," she tells him as she pushes her jeans down her leg.

"Ok, boss," he jokes as he starts to unbutton his jeans.

She throws her jacket off and impatiently waits for him to remove his own pants and jacket. When he does, she immediately jumps on top of him before he can say anything. She is straddling him as she pulls his lips to hers. His hands automatically fall to her hips as her tongue begins to explore his mouth. She lets out a shallow moan as he grabs her perfectly round ass, which is extremely exposed in the dark purple thong she is wearing.

After a few moments, they part briefly so she can pull his shirt over his head. He quickly removes her shirt and unhooks her bra, before pulling her closer to her so he can feel her breasts against his chest.

He starts to nibble at her ear, causing her hips to buck as she desperately searches for the friction she requires. She can feel him hardening against her, so she reaches into his boxers and grabs him, causing a groan to escape his mouth. She runs her hands up and down him as she throws her head back, giving him better access to her neck as he starts to suck on it.

Moments later, she pushes her underwear to the side and slowly lowers herself onto him, letting out a quiet gasp as she does. She starts to circle her hips before beginning to move up and down at a painfully slow pace. He thrusts upwards, encouraging her to go faster, but she just smiles down at him and continues to go slowly, fully intending to tease him for a few minutes.

She starts to place wet kisses down his neck, stopping to nip at his skin every few seconds. She maintains the slow pace for another minute before he gets impatient and urges her to speed up by grabbing her hips and guiding her up and down. She lets out a small chuckle before she happily obliges and speeds up the pace, causing him to let out a low groan.

A moment later, she grabs his face and crashes her mouth against his as she moves up and down on him. He takes advantage of the position they're in and continues to run his hands all over her body, exploring every inch of her. She leans back slightly, so he is hitting the perfect spot.

She lets out another moan and his hands immediately cup her breasts as his thumb runs in circles over her nipples. "Sam…"she moans as she throws her head back and her hair starts to tickle his knees.

"Oh God…" she groans as she picks up the pace and he pulls her close so he can nip at her neck. He can already see the marks forming right next to the ones he left last night. He starts to suck on the skin on her collarbone before eventually moving back to her lips.

"Sam…" she mumbles against his lips as his hands fall back on her ass. He will never get tired of hearing her say his name like that. It's without a doubt the sexiest thing he's ever heard and he wants to hear it again… and again.

He runs his tongue along the outside of her ear and blows out a hot breath, causing goosebumps to spread down her body. He starts to gently tug at her hair, which he knows from the night before that she loves.

She quickens the pace again and he can tell that she is teetering on the edge. He starts to circle his hips, causing her to let out a loud groan. Her hands are tightly gripping his shoulders, while her fingers are digging into his skin. He is pretty sure he'll find marks there tomorrow, but he couldn't care less.

"Sam… God, Sam…" she calls out his name as she rides out the waves of her orgasm, with him following a few moments later.

She throws her head on his shoulder as she attempts to catch her breath. As he waits for his own heartrate to normalize, he runs his hands up and down her back in an effort to relax her.

Once she is breathing normally again, she gets off of him and begins searching for her clothes. He watches her put on her bra and t-shirt before reaching down and grabbing his own shirt.

"Feel better?" He asks with a smirk, as he slides into his jeans.

"Oh yeah, like I was the _only_ one who wanted to do that," she says, rolling her eyes.

"Well, I could've waited until we got my place. _I_ have some self-control," he mocks.

"Oh c'mon, you loved it," she tells him.

He glances at her with a smile. "So, did it live up the fantasy?" He asks with raised eyebrows and a grin.

"I _guess_ ," she says, dramatically.

"You guess?" He asks, not believing her for a second.

She throws him a smile before jumping out of the backseat and hoping into the passenger seat. His ego definitely didn't need any help.

He runs his tongue over his teeth as he gets in the driver's seat and turns on the car. They sit in the silence for a few minutes until Andy realizes that they aren't going to her place.

"Where are we going?" She asks.

"My place," he tells her.

"Why?" She questions, glancing over at him.

"As much as I enjoy a quickie in my backseat, you know I like to take my time…" he tells her, suggestively. He sneaks a look over at her and he can see that she doesn't hate the idea.

"Are you sure?" She asks. "I'm guessing your recovery time isn't what it used to be," she says, mockingly.

"Oh, I'll show you recovery time, McNally," he tells her as he pulls up to his house. She lets out a laugh and hops out of his truck.

===========SECRETS===========

Please review! I'd love to hear suggestions!


	3. Lust

Hey guys, so this is just kind of a transitional chapter. I promise, there will actually be a plot to this story and it will begin to form next chapter. I'm excited for when I actually get to the time period of episode three, considering this is still taking place during the time span between episode two and three.

Also, I really appreciate the reviews, and would love more!

===========SECRETS===========

"How was that for recovery time?" He asks with a grin on his face, once they've finally caught their breath. She's sitting on his kitchen table, completely naked, while he's still standing in between her legs, running his hands up and down her thighs.

She lets out a laugh. "Yep, you proved me wrong," she concedes.

"Thank you," he says with a nod as he steps away from her and starts to collect his clothes from around his kitchen. They had been in such a hurry that they couldn't even make it to the bedroom or the couch. They spent a minute fumbling around his apartment, tearing off each other's clothes before Sam made an executive decision, picked her up and did her right there on his kitchen table.

And if she's honest, it was hot. _Really_ hot.

Somehow it was even better than the night before. She didn't think it was possible, but he definitely proved her wrong in more ways than one tonight. She thought that last night had been as good as it was simply because it had been so long. She thought there was no way it could always be that good. She just figured it was the anticipation, the waiting… God, the waiting…

But she was wrong. So wrong.

She didn't think anything could beat that first time, but he just did. She has no idea how, but it was definitely better.

The thing is, this _really_ isn't like her.

Normally, she has no problem getting to the bedroom. She's never been one to be _that_ impatient when it comes to sex, but for some reason, with Sam- she can't wait.

She doesn't _want_ to wait.

She wants a quickie in the backseat of his truck. She wants him to screw her on his kitchen table.

But, as much as she doesn't want to wait, she knows she can't keep doing this. _They_ can't keep doing this.

As much as she doesn't want to stop having sex with him, she also doesn't want to complicate things any further. She doesn't want to interfere with the best job she's ever had.

And there will be other guys. Other guys who aren't her training officer. Other guys who can do _those_ things to her.

She's sure there must be someone else out there who can do what he just did, who can make her feel the way he makes her feel.

There has to be.

Eventually, Andy shakes the thoughts from her head and hops off the kitchen table, so she can start collecting her clothes from the floor. Sam is buckling his belt, when she finally decides to speak.

"We really need to stop doing this," she says, as she steps into her underwear.

"Hm… you think so?" He asks casually.

"Uh… yeah…" She responds.

"Well, I disagree," he tells her, nonchalantly.

"Sam, c'mon," she says, hoping he won't make her convince him. She just doesn't think she has it in her.

"Andy, you _really_ want to stop?" He asks. "Because, it kind of seemed like you were enjoying yourself and I don't think we should deprive ourselves from the things we enjoy," he tells her, calmly.

She lets out a huge sigh once she slips her t-shirt over her head. "I just don't want things to be weird between us at work," she admits.

"So don't make it weird," he says, as if it's the easiest thing in the world.

"It's that simple?" She asks, knowing for a fact that it most definitely is not.

"Yeah," he says with a shrug and a smile. He knows it's not. Of course he does. But he _really_ doesn't want to stop. "It's just sex," he reminds her. "People do it all the time. We just need to compartmentalize between work and… this."

She mulls it over for a minute and allows him to convince her that he is right. Well, she's not actually sure that he's right, but she decides she isn't ready to give up the best sex of her life. Not yet. "Just sex, though. That's it… Like a friends with benefits type of thing," she declares.

"What are we in high school?" He laughs.

"I'm serious… And we should have some ground rules."

"Okay," he says with a laugh.

"Like I said before, we don't tell anyone. Not a soul. I won't tell Tracey. You can't tell Oliver or Jerry," she says, pointing a finger at him.

"Yes because that is exactly something I would do," he mocks, causing her to roll her eyes.

"No sleepovers. No cuddling. No feelings. We are just two adults who enjoy having sex with each other. We aren't dating. You are my training officer and that would just complicate _everything_ ," she reasons.

He internally rolls his eyes. _Right because fucking your training officer doesn't complicate a thing._

"K."

"Absolutely _no_ sex at work," she declares.

"Fine," he agrees, as an amused smile touches his lips.

"And if one of us wants to start seeing somebody else, we just let the other person know and we part friends, okay? No hard feelings… Friends," she tells him.

"Okay," he agrees, although he can't imagine that he would ever want to give up doing what they just did to start seeing someone else. He's never been anything more than a casual dater. The "no-strings" type of guy.

"And no matter what happens, we don't let this interfere with the job," she adds. "If it starts to interfere with the job, we _have_ to stop," she says, firmly.

"Sounds good," he agrees.

"Great, so… we're doing this?" She asks him, just to make sure.

"Yep," he tells her with a smile.

"Okay," she says.

They stand there for what feels like hours, but is only actually seconds. It's awkward. Andy is shuffling her feet while Sam fidgets with the hem of his shirt. Both of them are looking at everything but each other.

Finally, Sam takes a deep breath. "So… you wanna do it right now?" He asks, exposing his dimples.

She lets out a laugh. "I know you're trying to prove a point here, but are you sure?" She asks with a smile. "That'll be three times in under two hours," she reminds him, after glancing at the clock.

She's had plenty of sex in her life, but she can't recall a time when she ever had sex three times in the span of two hours. If she's being honest, she's never really had the desire to.

Except, right now… well, she could probably be convinced…

"Oh, I'm sure," he agrees, stepping closer to her.

"Okay… if you're sure," she says slyly.

That's all the encouragement he needs before he takes her in his arms and starts to kiss her. He picks her up and carries her to his bedroom for round three.

===========SECRETS===========

"You're in a good mood," she points out to him the next day, about two hours into their shift. She's surprised, but somehow, things aren't awkward between them and she's more than thankful.

He has been smiling all morning. She has been, too, but she definitely wants to tease him about it a little.

"Had a good night last night," he says with a shrug.

"Oh yeah?" She asks, turning to glance at him.

"Yep. You?" He asks.

"Eh, it was okay," she smirks. He glances over at her, shaking his head.

"Just okay? I have a feeling it was more than okay," he tells her.

"I guess you're right," she concedes with a smile. "I mean… three times in one night is pretty impressive," she admits.

"That's what I thought," he concurs with a cocky grin. "So, you wanna do it again tonight?" He asks, glancing over at her with a smile.

"Hm… I guess I could find the time," she teases.

"Good… Meet me at my truck after shift," he instructs her.

"How about you just come by my place after work?" She asks. "We shouldn't be seen leaving together," she adds when she sees his confused look.

"Okay, whatever you want, McNally," he agrees.

"I'm not going to forget you said that," she tells him, suggestively. He flashes a smile at her and then turns his attention back to the road before dispatch comes over the radio and they are called to the scene of a car accident.

===========SECRETS===========

When she gets home, she changes into a pair of soft black shorts and a tank top and waits for Sam to come by. She doesn't have to wait long before she hears the knock on her door.

"Hey," she says with a smile when she opens the door to find him standing there in jeans and a black t-shirt.

"Hey," he replies as she steps aside, letting him in.

"Want a drink?" She asks, after the door is closed.

"Maybe later," he says, before picking her up and kissing her. She immediately wraps her legs around him and lets him carry her to her bedroom. He's never been to Andy's apartment before, so it took a few tries to find her bedroom, but they made it eventually.

He throws her on the bed and rips his shirt off before crawling on top of her. He kisses her and she wraps her arms around him, pulling him flush against her before running her hands up and down his bare back. His hands travel under her tank top and quickly push it up and over her head.

He starts to suck on her neck and nibble on her ear, while she breathlessly moans his name. Eventually, he returns to her lips while running his hand up her thigh before finally grabbing her ass.

Their tongues begin to clash as he reaches behind her and unhooks her bra before pushing it off her shoulders and throwing it behind his head.

He doesn't waste any time before his hands are cupping her breasts and he starts to kiss her neck again. He begins sucking on the skin on her collarbone and then starts placing soft kisses down her chest, before running his tongue around her nipple, causing goosebumps to spread down her stomach.

"Sam…" she moans, softly as she arches her back into him. He turns his attention to her other nipple, softly running his tongue over it before gently sucking on it.

Moments later, he starts placing kisses down her stomach, stopping only to run his tongue around her belly button. When he finally gets lower, he slides her shorts down her legs and tosses them aside before running his finger in between her legs, over the wet fabric of her underwear.

Again, she arches her back at his touch. He slides her underwear down her legs and adds it to the pile of clothes on the floor. He starts to place kisses up her warm thighs and as he's grabbing her legs to open them wider so he'll have better access, she stops him.

"Sam?" She says, trying to get his attention.

"Hm?" He asks, glancing up at her.

"I'm not really into that," she tells him, awkwardly.

"What?" He asks, furrowing his brows.

"I'm just… I don't know, I've never really enjoyed it," she says with a shrug.

It's the truth. She's had plenty of guys try, but she's never come anywhere close to having an orgasm from just that.

Most of the time, she'll just lie there, staring at the ceiling, wondering how much longer it'll be until they give up. A few times, she's had to fake it because she was just getting bored and she had stuff to do.

"Really?" He asks, not quite believing her.

She shrugs.

"Well, then you've obviously just never had it done right," he tells her, accepting the challenge.

Before she can tell him not to bother, that she'd way rather just have sex, he has returned to his place in between her legs and slowly begins running his tongue up and down her. Every so often, he'll stop and blow out a warm breath, causing her to take in a sharp breath.

"Jesus Sam," she moans as he starts to run his tongue in circles inside her, only stopping every few moments to briefly suck and nip at her. She bucks her hips again and her fingers start to get tangled in his hair. He starts humming and the vibration drives her crazy. "Sam," she gasps. "Don't stop," she begs, causing a smile to escape his lips.

He runs his tongue over her clit and then follows it with his finger, before he pushes his tongue deeper inside her, finding the exact spot he is looking for. She is breathlessly moaning his name and he can't get enough. When he starts to suck and hum at the same time, she throws her head back in ecstasy.

Her eyes are tightly shut and she running her fingers through her hair, trying to calm herself and make this last, but he's not making it easy.

He starts to run his tongue slowly up and down her center, until he grabs her legs, getting her to bend her knees, giving him a better angle and allowing him deeper inside her. His tongue moves in circles again, causing her to moan his name for the sixth or seventh time since he started.

When he starts to suck on her clit, he can feel her starting to tense. When he starts to hum, lick and suck all at once, she can't hold on anymore.

Soon, she's attempting to catch her breath, while he places soft kisses up her stomach, stopping only to briefly take her nipples in his mouth.

"Wow," she finally says, after he makes his way up her body.

"Told ya," he says with a cocky grin, as he hovers over her.

Normally, she would roll her eyes at him, but right now, she can't. He was right. _So_ right.

And yeah, it's possible that she's already decided that she's going to get him to do that again. Many more times, in fact.

But for now, she's going to return the favor.

She smiles and reaches for him through his jeans. He groans and she quickly undoes his belt and his jeans. He assists her with getting them off and then tosses them on the floor. He starts to kiss her neck and run his tongue around the edge of her ear, while she sneaks her hand into his boxers and takes ahold of him. She runs her hand up and down his already hard penis, enjoying the way he growls against her skin.

"Andy…" he groans.

She quickly pushes his boxers down his legs and allows him to wiggle out of them before she grabs him again. He's trying to give her a few minutes to recover from her orgasm, but he really wants to be inside her now.

He dips his finger in between her legs and rubs against her, trying to decipher if she's ready for another round. The sound coming out of her mouth and the way she arches her back into him is all the convincing he needs. He immediately thrusts inside of her, eliciting a gasp from her throat.

His hands are running all over her. He just loves to touch her. He loves the feel of her skin under his fingers. He loves the noises she makes when he cups her breasts or when he grabs her ass. He loves feeling the goosebumps that form when he runs his hands up and down her thighs, holds on to her waist or traces the curve of her spine with his finger.

He gets woken from his thoughts by Andy's fingernails digging into his back. He starts to gently pull on her hair as he sucks on her neck, knowing just how much that drives her crazy. "Sam," she moans as he picks up the pace.

She bends her knees, allowing him to travel deeper inside her. "Christ… Andy…" He murmurs into her skin as he relishes the feel of her around him.

"Shit, Sam… That feels so good," she encourages. Her eyes are closed as she revels every moment, every touch, and every thrust. She has no idea how, but it's as if each time they have sex, it somehow gets better. "God, you feel so good," she tells him as her toes start to curl.

He quickens the pace again and she begins to circle her hips, causing them both to go over the edge.

"Is it just me or are we getting better at this?" She asks, once she's caught her breath.

He lets out a laugh. "Yeah, we might be," he agrees.

She lets out a smile as she gets out of bed, hoping to collect her clothes. She throws on her t-shirt, deciding to forget the bra, and begins to search for her underwear and her shorts. When she notices that Sam is still lying in her bed, she looks over at him and catches him staring.

She's taken back by the look in his eye. She's not sure what it is, but the way he is looking at her is making this feel a lot less casual than she would like.

===========SECRETS===========

Let me know what you think of chapter three. Like I said, it's just a transitional chapter. The plot will begin to form in the next chapter.

Please review!


	4. Evolve

Behold… chapter four…

===========SECRETS===========

"Andy?" Tracey says with a grin, hoping to get her best friend's attention as the two of them stand in the kitchen, making coffee.

"Hm?" Andy says, without glancing up, still completely engrossed in stirring her coffee.

"You were humming," Tracey informs her as a smirk plays on her lips.

"I was?" Andy says, finally looking over at Tracey.

"Yeah, you were," she says with a nod.

"Oh," Andy says with a shrug, returning her attention to her coffee.

"You've been in a good mood lately," Tracey says.

"Huh? Oh… yeah, I guess I have been," she says, biting the inside of her cheek trying to stop the grin some spreading across her lips.

"Any particular reason?" Tracey probes.

"Uh, nope, not really. Just… really love my job," Andy offers, hoping Tracey won't push.

"Oh, okay, sure," Tracey says, not buying it for a second.

"Mhm," Andy says with a nod. She grabs the two coffees and makes her way to the parking lot, where Sam is waiting for her.

It's true. She has been in a great mood lately.

It's been almost two weeks since her and Sam initiated their new arrangement and it's been… unbelievable. She's having the best sex of her life and she couldn't be happier with her job.

Sure, sometimes he drives her absolutely crazy, acting like she knows nothing and it's still her first day, but at least she can go home and take her anger out on him with sex.

It works. Somehow, it works.

===========SECRETS===========

It's been a seriously long day. Her shift ended over two hours ago, but a six car pileup kept her here late. The barn is quiet. The night shift has already begun and most of the officers are already out on patrol, while everyone else from the day shift is long gone.

She's been wandering through the halls searching for him, but has been unsuccessful. She pushes the door to the men's locker room open and sees that his jacket is still lying on the bench. She hears the shower running and gets an idea. She peers around the corner to make sure no one else is around and then starts taking off her clothes.

She knows this is a horrible idea, but she can't seem to talk herself out of it.

"What the-" he begins to say when he hears the shower curtain open. When he turns to see her, he stops himself and shoots her a questioning look.

"Hey," she says, as if she's completely clothed and just greeting him in the hallway.

"Hi…" He replies, waiting for an explanation.

"How come you didn't tell me it was your birthday?" She asks him.

She was shocked when she heard Oliver and Jerry tell him they'd meet him at the Penny for a birthday drink. She had been riding with him all day and he said nothing. It doesn't really surprise her that much. He seems like the type that wouldn't want to make a big deal about his birthday, but still, she would have liked to know.

"Didn't know you cared, McNally," he teases with a smirk. His hands are on her hips now, his thumbs running circles on her hip bone.

"It' just something you'd think a _friend_ would tell another _friend_ ," she retorts.

"Oh, okay," he says with a laugh and a nod. "Well, friend, it's my birthday today."

"Happy birthday," she says with a smile.

"Thanks."

They stand there for a moment, staring at each other, before she finally speaks. "I got you a present," she says with a smirk that makes him a little nervous.

"You got me a present? But you didn't even know it was my birthday," he points out.

"Well, lucky for you this present doesn't need much advance notice," she says as she reaches down and grabs him, never looking away from his gaze.

"Jesus," he says as she runs her hands up and down him. She smiles and starts to kiss her way down his body as she gets on her knees.

"What happened to no sex at work?" He asks with a smirk. He's surprised that she's offering. He expected she'd need some convincing to break that rule.

"It's a special occasion," she shrugs, before taking him in her mouth as she follows her hand with her tongue. The hard tile is pretty uncomfortable on her knees, but the appreciative noises coming from him makes her forget.

His fingers are tangled in her hair as he throws his head back and closes his eyes. She lets out a moan as she continues to follow her hand with her mouth. The noises coming from her only turns him on more and after a few more minutes, he feels himself on the edge.

"Andy…" he warns, but his warning only makes her go faster. She lets out another moan and the vibration in her mouth is what finally sends him over the edge. She slows down, allowing him to ride out the waves of his orgasm, before she releases him from her mouth and stands up.

"See? Now don't you feel silly for not telling me it was your birthday," she tells him with a smirk.

He can't speak, so he just nods. She smiles, obviously pleased with herself, before she gives him a quick kiss on the cheek and disappears out of the shower, leaving him standing there, still in a bit of shock.

===========SECRETS===========

A couple days later, they are panting on Andy's couch, trying to catch their breath. He had randomly showed up at her place while she was watching the hockey game. Before either one of them could say a word, he pushed her up against the wall and ran his hands all over her body as he kissed her. As they began to tear each other's clothes off, she guided him towards her living room. She pushed him down on her couch and straddled him, riding him until they were both over the edge.

She collapses beside him, as they continue to breathe heavily. After they've finally caught their breath, she glances over at him with a smirk.

"Remember when you said I wasn't your type?" She asks with a devious smile.

He meets her eyes and lets out a laugh. "I remember," he says simply.

"Do you want to take it back now?" She teases.

"You never believed me anyway," he dismisses. She's actually a bit surprised by his reaction. She was expecting some fight, some denial, but he gave in so easily. She's surprised that he's admitting that she is in fact his type, but she doesn't want to make a big deal about it.

"True," she quips.

He smiles at her and she does the same. They sit there for a moment before it hits her and she realizes what is happening here. They are sitting on her couch and he is smiling at her and playing with her hair. And she is smiling at him and drawing lazy patterns on his chest.

It should be weird. It is weird, but somehow, it also isn't weird.

Before she can start to freak out, she decides to get up and start collecting her clothes, hoping to forget about their little moment. He takes her cue and begins collecting his own clothes.

===========SECRETS===========

It's Friday night and the Penny is packed. She's had three shots already and she's starting to feel them as she stumbles over to the bar to get more.

"Careful, McNally," Sam says, grabbing her arm to steady her. He knows she's had a few. He has, too, but he can hold his liquor a little better than she can.

"You wanna get out of here, soon?" She whispers, causing goosebumps to spread down his arm.

"Yeah," he says with a nod.

"Meet you in the truck in half an hour?" She asks.

"Okay," he agrees.

She smiles and nods her head, before strutting back to the rookie table with five more shots. He laughs as he watches her and impatiently waits for the next half hour, trying not to think about all of the things he wants to do to her when he gets her in his bed.

===========SECRETS===========

The next morning she wakes up to sunlight shining through the window. She blinks her eyes a few times, adjusting to the light. That is when she feels it- Sam's arm wrapped around her waist; his body pressed right up against hers.

She cringes and her heart stops. She fell asleep. In Sam's bed. She spent the entire night in Sam's bed. Snuggling with him. The entire night.

"Oh my God," she says, not meaning for it to be out loud.

She feels Sam stirring against her and she cringes again, hoping he won't wake up.

"What is it?" He asks a moment later, still half asleep as he lifts his arm off of Andy and rubs his eyes awake.

"We fell asleep," she declares.

He stares at her for a moment, waiting for her to continue. When she doesn't, he decides it's up to him to lighten the mood. "Most people fall asleep at night, McNally," he quips.

"Sam, I fell asleep… in your bed… We just had a _sleepover_ ," she declares as if they had just run over a puppy.

"I see that," he says, looking at her sitting in his bed, _naked_ , with the bed sheets pulled barely above her breasts.

"We agreed no sleepovers!" She reminds him.

"Andy, it's really not a big deal. We fell asleep," he says with a shrug.

"This _is_ a big deal. People in _relationships_ have sleepovers," she points out, after jumping out of bed and starting to put on her clothes.

"People who are too tired to go home also have sleepovers," he retorts, as he not so subtly watches her get dressed.

"Sam, we were _spooning_ ," she says, as if it's the absolute worst thing in the world.

He laughs. "Relax, McNally. You were tired. It doesn't have to mean anything," he says, getting out of bed and standing beside her. He runs a hand down her side. She takes a deep breath and relaxes. _It doesn't have to mean anything_.

"Obviously, I just really wore you out last night," he says, wiggling his eyebrows and flashing her a cocky smile.

She rolls her eyes when she glances up at that smug look of his. "Proud of yourself?" She asks.

"A little," he responds as his grin widens. She rolls her eyes again, eliciting a laugh from the man standing in front of her.

"C'mon, I'll put the coffee maker on and we can jump in the shower. We'll swing by your place before work so you can grab some clothes… What's that bakery by you? We should stop there for breakfast," he suggests.

Her jaw drops, but she says nothing.

"What?"

"Now you want to take me out for _breakfast_?" She asks, completely stunned.

"It's just breakfast. It's not like we've never had a meal together," he reminds her.

"Yeah, at work," she replies.

"Fine, you don't want breakfast," he shrugs.

"And we _cannot_ drive to work together. Everyone will know!" She exclaims.

"I've given you a ride to work before," he points out. It's true, he has given her a ride once or twice. But still. She's pretty sure her neck is covered in more than a couple hickeys and riding with Sam to work would just be… suspicious.

"I should probably just go home," she says, turning towards the door.

He grabs her wrist to stop her. "Don't overthink it, McNally. We're friends, right? Friends can have breakfast together, can't they? They can drive to work together. Friends have even been known to have sleepovers. No big deal. You really don't need to freak out about this."

He's rubbing his thumb in circles on her hip and it's having a surprisingly calming effect on her.

"Fine, I guess I _am_ pretty hungry," she says, acting as if she's doing him the favor.

"That's the spirit," he tells her, sarcastically.

"But you're dropping me off a few blocks from the station!"

"Fine. Now c'mon," he says, dragging her towards the shower.

===========SECRETS===========

"See that was nice wasn't it? Breakfast between friends. No hand holding. No footsie under the table. Just a _friendly_ breakfast," he quips.

Truth be told, he wants way more than a friendly breakfast with her, but right now, he'll take what he can get. He knows she scares easily and he's willing to wait.

"I guess you're right. Sorry I freaked out before. I just- I can never sleep in someone else's bed and it… it just freaked me out that I slept in yours," she confides.

Her admission makes him way happier than it should, but he's luckily able to maintain his poker face.

"It _is_ a pretty comfortable bed," he replies, trying to act casually.

"It is," she agrees. "But seriously, it cannot happen again."

"Fine… I'll try to take it easy on you… make sure you have enough energy to make it home," he smiles.

"How kind of you," she retorts with a playful roll of her eyes.

===========SECRETS===========

There is chapter four. The next chapter is where we finally catch up to episode three on the show.

Please review! It's what motivates me to write! I want to know what everyone thinks and I love hearing suggestions and ideas.


	5. Complex

This chapter spans over a couple episodes. It starts with Fite Nite, continues into Signals Crossed and ends with Broad Daylight. I use a lot of lines from the actual show since the story is supposed to be following the show.

===========SECRETS===========

God, today has been an absolute nightmare.

It's just everything. All of it.

It's just piling up. And finally boiling over. She's finally waking up.

It's finding her Dad passed out after yet another bender. It's Gail warning her to be careful with Swarek. It's the fact that after her Dad gets drunk and embarrasses her at Fite Nite, in front of all of her co-workers, _she_ apologizes to _him_.

It's everything that happened with Melanie. The woman who keeps picking the wrong guy and who keeps going back to that guy no matter how many times he hurts her, no matter how many times he disappoints her.

Then it's her conversation with Traci.

" _No wonder you're always picking the wrong guys."_

" _Not anymore."_

So, she makes a decision. She is going to pick the right guy. She is going to pick the safe guy. The guy who won't hurt her. The guy who won't disappoint her. The guy who cares about her. Luke.

Yes, things with Sam have been… amazing, but it's only sex. Sure, she has been feeling something… more, lately, but it can't happen.

It is against the rules.

And she is pretty sure Sam isn't interested in having something more with her. Yes, sometimes she thinks that maybe… maybe he _is_ interested. The way he looks at her sometimes; the way he touches her, even when it isn't necessary; the way he smiles at her; the way he pushes the hair out of her face; the way he kisses her. Sometimes, she thinks that maybe he is feeling something, too, but then she reminds herself that he isn't that type of guy.

He doesn't want a relationship. He wants undercover. He wants Guns and Gangs. He wants excitement and no strings.

He doesn't want to be a shoulder for her to cry on. He doesn't want to sit at home cooking dinner together. He doesn't want to hold her hand or spend holidays with her family. He doesn't want to have dinner with her father or deal with all of her problems.

And even if he does, they can't. He's her training officer. Even if he wants all of that, they can't have any of it. They can't be together.

And Luke… well, Luke _is_ that type of guy. He's normal; he's safe. He will hold her hand. He will have dinner with her Dad. He will sit at the rookie table with her friends at The Penny, even though he'd rather be at the bar with his fellow detectives. He will bring her breakfast in bed and give her a back rub. He is the boyfriend type. And that's exactly what she needs.

Sure, she is going to miss what she has with Sam. She would be lying if she said she wasn't. She's going to miss the sex and the banter and the way he makes her feel so… wanted. But she's sure that sex with Luke will be great. And it will probably be even better because it'll mean more.

And sure, she's definitely concerned that her decision will affect her work relationship with Sam. She sees the way he's looking at her from across the bar and she almost feels guilty, like she's doing something wrong, like she's cheating on him or something.

But she's not.

She's doing nothing wrong, because they are not together. Just like he said on their first day riding together, he is not her boyfriend.

But it's when he stops her in the bathroom hallway that she really starts to really feel guilty.

"Hey," he greets her, when she walks out of the women's bathroom.

"Hi," she says, trying not to sound nervous.

"Want to get out of here?" He asks, trying to sound confident. He's watched her flirt with Callahan all night. He couldn't look away, no matter how much he wanted to. The way she was smiling at him. The way he was smiling at her. The way he was touching her arm and leaning in close so she could hear him over all of the noise in the bar. It made him sick.

The second he saw her walk towards the bathroom, he was following her before he could even think about it.

"Um… not tonight…" she says, unable to look at him.

"Not tonight," he repeats with a sigh.

He's trying not to look disappointed. He was hoping that it was just flirting, but he knows now that it wasn't.

For a moment, he even considered whether she was trying to make him jealous, but now he knows just how ridiculous that is. She doesn't care if he's jealous. But he is. He _is_ jealous. And he really doesn't like it.

"Yeah… I don't know… I think we should maybe… cool it for a while," she tells him nervously. "It's just… you're my training officer and I think… people are starting to get suspicious," she explains.

He knows it's bull shit, but he pretends to believe her. "Yeah… sure… okay," he says with a nod as he backs away from her.

"We part friends, right?" She asks, hopefully.

"Sure, McNally," he says before turning away from her and returning to his seat at the bar. He asks Liam for another shot and downs it quickly.

"You okay, Sammy?" Jerry asks.

"Yep," he lies, before gesturing for another shot.

===========SECRETS===========

The next morning, she's fidgeting with her hands as they sit in the uncomfortable silence that's filled the squad car since the second they buckled their seatbelts.

"Look, Sam…" she begins, unsure of what she should say next. "About last night…" she continues.

"It's fine, McNally," he dismisses her. "I'm your training officer, we never should have started this in the first place," he tells her, never taking his eyes off the road.

She immediately sighs at his words. She doesn't love that fact that he seems to regret what happened between them because she definitely doesn't, but she really hates the tension. "I don't want things to be awkward between us. I really do want us to be friends," she responds.

"Were we ever friends?" He asks, finally peering over at her.

He isn't sure. Maybe they were acquaintances, but he doesn't think they were ever friends. He wanted to get to know her and be her friend… or possibly more than that, but she was never interested in sharing. She never wanted to let him in.

"What do you mean?" She asks.

"I don't know… forget it," he says with a shake of his head. "Of course we can be friends. I _want_ to be friends, McNally," he tells her, trying to convince himself as much as her.

She stares at him and wonders how things will ever get back to normal. She's hoping that all they need is time, but she's not sure if even that will be enough.

=======Secrets=======

"McNally, I'm not believing it. Try again," he orders her.

This is the fifth time she's had to do this and she is starting to get pissed. He only made Gail do it once and she didn't seem _that_ convincing. She is starting to think that he's punishing her for ending whatever it was between them.

Things between them have been awkward lately, but it's only been ten days and she figured they just needed a little more time. But now she's wondering if time will even do the trick.

She shakes her head and takes a deep breath, determined to get it right this time.

She struts over to his truck with a seductive smile on her face. She leans in the window and her smile widens when she sees him glance down her tank top.

She's irrationally pleased that he couldn't help but sneak a peek. She knows she shouldn't be, but the way he looks at her just makes her feel… hot.

She wishes Luke would look at her like that.

"Hey," she says in her most seductive voice.

"You free?" He asks, trying not to let her cleavage distract him. He's surprised when she starts to run her hand up and down his bicep and he almost reprimands her right there. She isn't supposed to touch the Johns, but the truth is, he really doesn't want her to stop.

"Maybe… what did you have in mind?" She asks, leaning in a little more, giving him an even better view down her shirt.

"Some fun," he replies with a shrug.

"Oh, I think I could have some fun with you," she says, suggestively raising her eyebrows.

"Oh yeah?" He asks, as she continues to run her fingers up and down his arm.

"Yeah, but it's not free," she informs him.

"How much?" He inquires.

"$300," she tells him. "But trust me, I'm worth it," she adds.

"Oh I don't doubt that," he agrees.

She smiles at him and he can't take his eyes off of her. He can't stop thinking about all of the things he really would like to do to her… all of the things he's already done to her.

"I think she's got it, Sammy," Oliver says through the radio, causing them to both jump out of their trance.

"Yeah, yeah. I think she does," he agrees over the radio. "Good job. Very believable," he says to Andy.

"Great, I'm a believable hooker. My Dad will be so proud," she says, playfully rolling her eyes.

He smiles at her again and she turns to walk away. "But hey, McNally," he calls after her. She spins around and looks at him. "No touching the Johns!"

===========SECRETS===========

He shouldn't have yelled at her like that. Ever since he walked away from her, he's felt guilty.

It's just that she really put herself in danger tonight. Who knows what could have happened if Epstein hadn't walked in when he did?

The thought of something happening to her makes him nauseous and causes his entire mouth to go dry. He can't even really stand to think about it too much, because it makes him _that_ sick.

He can't help it; he just worries about her. He wishes he didn't, but he does.

He's been pacing around the station looking for her when he finally sees her heading out into the parking lot. He jogs after her and eventually catches up.

"Hey," he says, as he slows down right behind her, waiting for her to turn around. "You need a ride?" He asks.

"No, thanks, I think I'm just going to walk," she says and he's disappointed.

It's ridiculous, but for some reason, he really wants her to let him give her a ride home. He wants things to be normal with them again. He hates the awkward tension that's been happening between them.

"I'm sorry about tonight," she offers, and he feels guilty again.

"It'll get better," he tells her, because he doesn't know what else to say.

"Ha! Right, sure it will," she says with an eye roll.

He stops walking, causing her to do the same. "Look," he says, waving his arms in defeat. She turns to look at him. "It's my job, alright? If something happened to you, it's on me," he says.

"It's okay, _sir_ , I completely get it," she says.

He immediately cringes; he hates when he calls her 'sir.' It's so professional. It makes it seem as if that's all they are. Professional. Training officer and rookie. And maybe now, that _is_ all they are, but he doesn't like the reminder.

"Alright… I don't want anything to happen to you," he admits.

"I know," she nods, as her expression softens. "See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, go get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow," he replies.

=====Secrets=====

The next few days are bit less awkward. A week and a half later, things are finally getting back to normal.

She's not sure what has given rise to his good mood, but she's more than thankful. He's teasing her again and she is laughing, which feels great after almost three weeks of awkward.

"Look, no one will pass me," he says with a laugh as he chews his gum. He is inching down the street at a leisurely twenty two miles per hour with at least twenty cars trailing behind him.

"You're so evil," she tells him with a grin. "These people are already staring down the barrel of stop and go traffic all the way up the 400."

Just then, a red sedan starts to creep towards them.

"Oh, oh, oh… ohhhh…. they didn't go for it," Sam laughs as the sedan slows down.

"Stop it," she says with a laugh and a grin.

She's glad things are finally getting back to normal. In the past three weeks, they hadn't talked about their arrangement or about Luke and Andy is starting to think that maybe they never will. But of course, that is exactly when Sam decides to bring it up.

"You involved with Callahan?" He asks.

The truth is, he's been dying to ask ever since that night at the Penny, but he doesn't want to seem like he cares one way or the other, so he's been waiting. But after this morning, he just has to ask.

When he saw Luke talking with her in the locker room, he just couldn't stop himself from walking over and interrupting them, but what he overheard was so much better than he was expecting.

" _It's just, you know, when you wake up alone and wonder where someone's gone, it can kind of ruin your whole day."_

When he hears it, he can't help but recall the night that Andy slept in his bed and the morning he woke up with her in his arms. And he's been in a good mood ever since.

She looks at him and has no idea what to say. The truth is, she doesn't know what she's doing with Luke yet. It's still new. It's only been a few weeks. They obviously haven't defined the relationship yet. She looks away from him and when she feels his eyes on her, she lets out a little shrug.

He smiles. "I'm just saying, you might want to be a little careful, you know? Callahan is good solid police but uh he picks a different rookie every year."

"Thanks, yeah, I can take care of myself," she informs him.

"Ah, the cat who walks by herself," he teases.

"Exactly."

"The cheese stands alone," he mocks.

She rolls her eyes and looks over at him. "You of all people should understand that," she retorts.

He wants to say something, but he's not sure what and when he hesitates, he loses his chance as dispatch comes on over the radio and calls them to a home invasion.

===========SECRETS===========

That night, he sees her nursing a beer at the bar and he wonders if he should go over. He scans the bar and doesn't see Callahan anywhere, so he takes the seat beside her.

"Hey," she says, without even looking at him. He's curious how she knew it was him, but he lets it go.

"Hey," he responds, causing her to finally turn and look at him.

"I talked to Boyco," she informs him. He already knew, but he nods his head and waits for her to continue. "I made sure he knew that I told Tracey she could leave- that I'd be fine. I made sure he knew it was my fault," she says and he can see that she's being hard on herself.

"Andy, I never said it was your fault… I meant what I said to Boyco. I'm your training officer, it's on me," he tells her as he runs his hand up and down her arm, trying to comfort her.

"Sam, I forgot to load my _gun_ this morning," she reminds him, completely disgusted with herself.

She still can't believe she let this happen. What if she had needed to use it and she couldn't? A million scenarios run through her mind and each one ends up with somebody getting hurt. "How can you even trust me to have your back if I can't even remember to load my own gun?" She asks.

"Hey," he says as he lifts her chin with his finger so she will look at him. "I trust you," he tells her, willing her to believe him. She does, but it doesn't make her feel better.

"Andy, it happens," he tells her. "To all of us," he adds. "Stop being so hard on yourself," he pleads. "You're a great cop."

She takes a sip of her beer and nods. She looks over to him and gives him a small smile. "Thanks."

He nods and smiles back at her. He doesn't know if this is normal, but he's thinking that maybe they actually are friends, or at least on their way to being friends.

===========SECRETS===========

This chapter isn't my favorite, but I hope everyone liked it. I felt like it didn't flow as well as some of the others, but maybe it's just because it's broken up into many different days.

Anyway, please review!


	6. Disappointment

It's been over a month since she's had sex with Sam and things are finally 100% normal between them again. She's thankful that the awkwardness has disappeared, but she still can't stop herself from staring at his ass whenever he walks away. She feels guilty every time, but she can't stop. He has a _great_ ass.

Things with Luke are great, too. He's great. He cares about her and she cares about him. They have fun together. They laugh. They flirt. It's easy. She likes that. She needs that.

And sure, the sex isn't mind-blowing, but it's good- great, even. If she hadn't had sex with Sam first, she'd probably be willing to give sex with Luke even more praise. But, the thing is, she did have sex with Sam first and so she knows what mind-blowing sex is and her and Luke are not having it.

She's not sure what made her ask Sam to help Marie with her plumbing. Maybe it was the way he had her back today despite the lethal hangover he was nursing. Maybe it was the fact that she was completely disgusted with her boyfriend at the moment. Maybe it was because she figured he was probably good with tools and he did ask if she needed anything- unlike her boyfriend.

Maybe she just needed a friend.

"I can't believe she thanked me," Andy says, as she sits in a kitchen chair, watching Sam fix the pipe under Marie's sink. His head is completely under the sink and his t-shirt keeps ridding up, exposing his hip bones. She forces herself to look away and tries to distract herself with conversation.

Sam peeks his head out to look at Andy. "When are you going to stop blaming yourself?" He asks.

"It _is_ my fault, Sam," she reminds him.

He sighs and crawls out from under the sink. He places a wrench down on the floor and gets up on his knees, so he is closer to her.

"It is _not_ your fault," he assures her.

"Then whose fault is it?" She probes.

"How about the guy who shot him?" Sam questions.

Andy sighs. "He only had the surgery because of me," she reminds him.

"Andy, you did not force him to have the surgery. He made a choice. Yes, maybe you influenced that choice a little bit, but only because he appreciated what you did for him and he wanted to return the favor. That does not mean his death is on you," Sam explains.

She takes a deep breath. "I hate Luke for asking him to do that surgery… For treating him like evidence instead of a person… For not even caring when he died," Andy says, looking down at her feet.

Sam sighs. He knows she doesn't hate Luke. He wishes she did, but she doesn't.

"When you're a detective, sometimes you can get lost in the puzzle, you know? Sometimes you're just so focused on solving a crime… on putting someone away for that crime… that you forget what's important," Sam explains. "It doesn't mean he's a bad person or that he doesn't feel bad about what happened," he adds.

She shakes her head. She doesn't want to talk about Luke anymore.

"Thanks for doing this," she tells Sam for the third time tonight. "I know you're probably still hungover and you would rather be anywhere but here, but I … I just… I really appreciate it," she informs him.

He smiles with a nod. He had forgotten about his hangover until she just mentioned it. She has that effect on him. "Anytime," he tells her.

They smile at each other before Sam returns to his place under the sink.

===== Secrets =======

An hour later, Andy is hugging Marie goodbye and promising to stay in touch before following Sam out to his truck.

"Hey, what did you mean when you said I had a lion's heart?" She asks him.

He glances over at her, momentarily taking his eyes off the road. "I just meant that… that you have a really big heart."

"Probably not the best trait for this job," she says, staring into her lap.

"Andy, it's one of your best qualities. It's what makes you a great cop," he assures her.

She looks up and smiles at him. "Thanks for doing this, Sam," she tells him.

He grins at her. "Anytime," he tells her again.

When they pull up to her apartment, she lets out a big sigh.

"You okay?" He asks.

She turns towards him and stares for a moment, debating what to say next. "Wanna come up?" She asks. "I just… I don't really want to be alone," she adds. "You can say no… You probably just want to go to bed," she rationalizes.

He laughs. "Let's go," he says, turning the car off and hoping out of the truck. She smiles and unbuckles her seatbelt before hoping out and leading him to her apartment.

"Beer?" She asks, once they've made it inside.

"No thanks." She shrugs and grabs one for herself.

"Wanna watch the game for a bit?" She asks, gesturing towards the television.

"Yeah," he nods, before following her to the couch. They sit and watch the hockey game for about ten minutes before he steals a glance at Andy and notices that her eyes are watering.

"Hey," he says, asking her to look at him.

When she does, he pulls her into his side, so her head is buried in his chest. "It'll be okay," he tells her. He wraps his arms around her as she clings to him and her hot tears soak into his t-shirt. He runs his hand in circles on her back, trying to soothe her, while her tears continue to seep into his shirt.

They sit like that for maybe five minutes before she finally pulls back, wiping her tears with her sleeve.

"God, Sam, I'm sorry… You don't have to stay. I'll be fine," she tells him.

"McNally, it's fine," he assures her as he gently squeezes her shoulder.

"I'm just going to go to bed," she informs her.

"Okay… well, call me if you need anything, okay? I mean it," he declares.

"I know," she smiles. "Thank you. Seriously, Sam- thank you… for everything," she repeats.

===== Secrets =======

She's been sitting in her dark apartment crying for over ten minutes when she decides she needs to get out of there. The thought of spending the night alone makes her shake uncontrollably. Every time she shuts her eyes she hears the gun shots, she sees the light leave his eyes, the blood start to pool on the floor.

She still can't believe that she's alone in the first place. It's the second time in one week that Luke has let her down. He should be here with here. He should be comforting her, making sure she's okay, holding her while she cries. But he's not.

She grabs her keys and runs out the door. She is running down the street and has no idea where she is even going until she's knocking on his front door.

When he opens the door, she sees the surprised look on his face and for a moment, she thinks this may have been a mistake. But then, she sees the warm look in his eyes and she knows it wasn't.

"Hey," she says, still out of breath.

"Hey," he responds.

"You alone?" She inquires.

"Yeah…" He says, gesturing inside the empty apartment. "You wanna talk?" He asks.

"No," she replies. The last thing she wants to do is talk. She just wants to feel better. She wants to feel anything, really, and no one makes her feel more than Sam does.

She steps towards him and pushes him against the wall before crashing her lips against his. He is surprised, but he reacts instantly by putting his hands around her waist, pulling her in close and returning her kisses. He cups her face and continues to kiss her as he guides her inside his apartment and closes the front door before she has a chance to change her mind.

She pushes him towards his bedroom as their tongues fight for control and their hands roam each other's bodies. When they get in his bedroom, she runs her hands under his shirt and pulls it over his head. He continues to kiss her until he pulls her shirt off and tosses it aside. He lifts her up and she wraps her legs around him, before he carries her to his bed. He places her down gently and climbs on top of her as his lips find hers once again. They continue kissing for a few moments before he turns his attention to her neck. He nips at her skin, eliciting a quiet moan from her throat. He presses his lips against her once again as he runs his hand up her thigh. He continues kissing her until he feels Andy hesitate at the same time that he hears the noise from his television in the background. He opens his eyes and sees that the lights have come on. Her hands are still running up and down his chest as he nudges her nose with his.

"Power's back on," he declares. They both look away at the now brightly lit bedroom.

"I guess everything's back to normal," she says, quietly, causing him to look back at her.

"I should go turn a few things off," he says with an awkward smile. She nods and he crawls off of her. He hurries out of the room after flipping off the switch for his bedroom light.

She immediately misses the weight of his body on hers, the feel of his hands roaming her body. She runs her fingers through her hair.

It's then that she feels her phone vibrating. She grabs it out of her back pocket and cringes when she sees that it's Luke. Her stomach drops and the guilt washes over her. She is about to have sex with Sam when she's supposed to be with Luke. _What is she doing?_ She is not a cheater. When her mother cheated on her father, she vowed she would never hurt someone that way. She ignores the call and slips her t-shirt over her head.

Sam walks back into his bedroom and sees her putting her shirt back on. He sighs and leans against the threshold of his door.

"Yeah, I guess everything's back to normal," he says. She gives him an apologetic smile and he walks out of the room.

He feels like an idiot, but he also feels like an asshole. He knew she was in a vulnerable state and he was about to have sex with her. He should have stopped her the second she tried to kiss him, but he just can't control himself when it comes to her.

He grabs a beer out of the fridge and sits on the couch. He takes a big sip and turns the television back on, flipping to the hockey game.

He hears her footsteps a few minutes later. He half expects her to just sneak out the door without saying a word, but she walks over to him and sits beside him on the couch, careful to leave plenty of room between them.

"I'm sorry," she tells him.

He looks over at her and hates the look on her face. She looks guilty, hurt, confused, upset, and probably ten other unpleasant emotions.

"No, Andy- I'm sorry. You're upset… I never should've let this happen," he tells her.

"Sam… I was just… I was at my place all alone in the dark and I couldn't stop thinking about what happened and I… I just couldn't be alone, so I ran out the door and I didn't even realize where I was going until I was knocking on your door… I just knew you would make me feel better… You're the only person who's _always_ there for me," she explains.

He wants to ask about Luke, but at the same time, he really doesn't.

"And then, the power came back on and Luke called me and I… I just… I'm not… I'm not a cheater… not like my mother," she continues.

He nods. "Beer?" He asks, when the silence becomes uncomfortable.

"Thanks," she says. He gets up and grabs one out of the fridge. He takes the cap off and hands it to her before sitting back down on the couch.

"Do you mind if I hang out here for a bit? I just… I really don't want to be alone," she tells him.

"Sure," he replies. "Do you want to watch the game?" He asks, gesturing towards the television.

"Okay… But can you do me a favor?" She asks.

"Anything," he responds.

"Can you put a shirt on? It's already hard enough trying to restrain myself when you're fully clothed," she flirts.

He grins at her. "Sure, McNally," he agrees, before going to grab a shirt from his bedroom.

=========Secrets==========

He'd be lying if he said he hadn't been counting down the days until she'd be back. Waking up this morning, he is already in a great mood knowing that he will see her at work today, even if they wouldn't be able to ride together because of re-training. The past week has been hell without her. He will never admit it but, he missed her. A lot.

He stops and gets her a coffee on his way to work, already anticipating the smile she will flash at him when he hands it to her.

And then Callahan stops him in the middle of the barn and his whole day goes to crap.

" _It was what it was_ ," he tells her. It's the furthest thing from the truth, but he doesn't want to hear her apologies or see the pity in her eyes. He doesn't want to hear her say that she's choosing Luke- that she wants to be with Luke and not him.

So, then he ignores her when she comes to him for help. The look of disappointment in her eyes is one he never wants to see again. He hates himself for letting her down.

When he pulls her aside at the bar, he almost tells her the truth, but then he hears the door open and he knows it's Callahan, so all he can say is " _have a nice trip_."

=========Secrets==========

" _It was what it was."_

It's been hours and she's still pissed at him. How could he say that to her? How could that be all it was?

She sighs as she looks up at the starry sky. She didn't want to go to this stupid fishing cabin, but here she is and it's all his fault.

She's just happy that Luke is finally asleep, so she is able to get some air. She's been sitting on his deck for a couple hours, maybe longer. She just doesn't want to go back in there.

He'll probably want to have sex again and it's honestly, the last thing she wants to do. Sex with him tonight was almost torturous. She just couldn't get into it. She couldn't focus on him at all. She couldn't stop thinking about everything that happened today; everything that's happened in the past week. Luckily, he didn't seem to notice and when she faked her orgasm, he seemed to believe her.

Sex with Luke is okay. She keeps hoping it will get better, that they just need some practice, but she can't help but be reminded of sex with Sam and how they never needed practice.

It is strange but, sex with Luke almost feels more… casual than sex with Sam. It's not that Luke is selfish in bed, but he is definitely not as generous as Sam. And he isn't really into foreplay, which she supposes is why it always feels more casual.

One of the things she misses most about sex with Sam is how impatient they are with each other and how often he would just do her wherever they were… the couch, the truck, the kitchen table, the shower.. there was even the time that she informed him that she wasn't wearing any underwear while they were riding the elevator up to her apartment. Without saying a word, he flipped the switch on the elevator, causing it to stop in between floors, and then he pushed her skirt up and did her right then and there. And even though they were impatient, they would usually wait ten minutes and go really slow the next time. They'd actually make it to the bed and they would tease each other with the foreplay and it was just… unbelievable.

With Luke, they always make it to the bed.

She knows that comparing the two of them is unfair to Luke. What she had with Sam was exciting, but what she has with Luke is… safe. It's normal. It's what she needs in her life right now. Sure, he has let her down more than once, but he apologized, and the truth is, what Luke did to her is nothing compared to what Sam did. Luke's actions disappointed her, but what Sam did, crushed her, and she never wanted someone to have that kind of power over her.

No, Luke was definitely the safe choice, the right choice. It may not be perfect, but it's what she needs right now.

She convinces herself that it will get better, she may just need to try harder.

=========Secrets==========

Here's another chapter…. I know it sucks, but it'll get better, I promise!

And thanks for all of the reviews! Keep 'em coming!


	7. Vulnerable

So, I know it's been a really long time since my last update, but the thing is, I was RIDICULOUSLY stuck. I had lots of ideas for the episodes in late season one and early season two, but I just could not find the right words. I wrote so many different versions of this chapter, but I didn't like any of them. None of them were right.

Anyway… I kind of made an executive decision to just skip ahead to the good stuff. I figured most of you wouldn't mind since it's not like we haven't had enough of Luke and Andy being together. Still, I'm a little disappointed that I couldn't make anything work. I would've liked at least one or two chapters revolving around the events of early season two. Maybe I'll figure something out and add another chapter in between this one and the last one. Until then, we are skipping ahead to season two, episode seven: The One that Got Away. This chapter picks up after that episode. (Just in case you've forgotten, that is the episode that Andy almost dies in a storage locker after breaking up with Luke)

Please review as it gives me the motivation to update quicker.

P.S. – The next chapter is already halfway written, so you should not have to wait too long in between chapters. But seriously, reviews make me go faster!

===============Secrets============

She has no idea how she got here.

One minute she is trying to find a wedding dress with one weeks' notice and the next minute she is bombarded with images of her fiancé sleeping with his ex.

Seriously, _how_ did she get here?

She's more pissed than anything… and if she's honest, that kind of freaks her out. Shouldn't she be devastated? Shouldn't she be completely destroyed? The man she was planning to spend the rest of her life with just cheated on her, shouldn't she be in a puddle of her own tears, consuming carton after carton of Ben & Jerry's?

But no, she isn't.

She's unbelievably pissed.

She's pissed that Luke cheated. She's pissed that he lied. She's pissed that she fell for it. She's pissed that she's homeless now. She's pissed that she agreed to marry him in the first place.

Why _did_ she agree to marry him?

She has no idea.

Because he was the safe choice. She almost laughs out loud at that thought and how utterly ridiculous it seems now.

She's been staring at the ceiling for the past ten minutes and is no closer to sleep than she was when she lied down. She's crashing on Tracey's pull out couch. It's definitely not the most comfortable thing in the world, but she knows that's not the real reason sleep is alluding her tonight.

She just can't shut her mind off. She goes from thinking about how pissed she is at Luke for cheating to how close she came to dying in a storage locker today.

It was close. Too close. She really thought she was done. And of all people, it's Luke that comes to rescue her.

Whenever she closes her eyes, she can feel Nixon's hands around her throat and it's as if she's back in that storage locker again. It's that thought that gets her off the couch and changing back into her jeans and t-shirt. She scribbles out a note on the table for Tracey and runs out the door.

She doesn't even know where she's going until she gets there, but for some reason, the fact that she's here is not surprising her in the least. Sure, she still hasn't completely forgiven him for leaving her today, but she also knows that what happened is not completely his fault. She never should have gone in there alone. Plus, he's one of only three people who knows what's going on with her right now and she just doesn't want to be alone.

She hesitates for a moment, wondering if it's too late to be knocking on his door, but it's only a little after eleven and like her, he has the day off tomorrow.

Without giving it another thought, she walks up the stairs to his condo and rings his doorbell.

She's nervously tapping her foot as she hears him rustling around inside. She briefly considers running back down the steps and pretending she was never here, but he opens the door before she has the chance to bolt.

"Andy?" He says, when he opens his door only to see her standing in front of him. "Are you okay?" He asks when he sees the look on her face. "I thought you were staying at Tracey's."

"I was. I am… I just… I couldn't sleep…" she explains. "Can I come in?" She asks.

"Yeah," he says, leading her inside. "You want a drink?" He inquires as he directs her towards the kitchen.

"Scotch," she replies without hesitation. He nods and pours two glasses of scotch and gestures towards the couch, bringing the bottle with him. She follows and sits down next to him, much closer than he was expecting. He hands her the glass and she downs the entire thing, which gives him a really good look at the bruises around her neck.

"Jesus," he says before reaching out and touching the marks on her throat. She puts her empty glass down on the table and closes her eyes, enjoying the feel of his fingers gently tracing her bruises. "God, Andy, I am _so_ sorry," he tells her for the second time today, causing her to open her eyes and look at him. "I'm so sorry," he repeats, when he meets her gaze.

And he is. He's spent the entire night kicking himself for leaving her and torturing himself with the terrifying what-ifs. He will probably hate himself for the rest of his life for this.

He's searching her eyes, trying to figure out if she's upset with him, if she blames him, but he can't read her. She just looks… broken, and he hates it. "I'm so sorry," he echoes. "If anything happened to you… I just… I would never forgive myself… Andy, I will never leave you again," he assures her.

"Promise?" She asks.

"Yeah," he nods. "I promise," he agrees immediately.

"Every time I close my eyes, I see him," she admits. "I can still feel his hands around my neck."

He cringes. Every time he looks at her, every time she talks, he just feels guiltier. He hates himself for leaving her. He hates himself for not being there, for causing this.

"Come here," he says softly, before pulling her into his chest. He wraps an arm around her, letting her bury her face in his neck. He gently strokes her hair as she wraps her arm around his stomach and scoots closer to him. He has no idea how long they stay like that, but it's a while.

"Can I stay here tonight?" She asks, eventually. She lifts her head to meet his gaze.

"Sure," he says with a nod. "You can take the bed, I'll sleep on the couch," he offers.

She frowns as she shakes her head. "No… I just… I don't want to sleep alone," she admits.

He nods. "Okay, sure," he agrees. "Let's go," he says, grabbing her hand and pulling her up to stand beside him. He leads her into his bedroom, not letting go of her hand until he starts to rifle through his dresser trying to find something for her to wear.

"Here," he says handing her one of his oversized academy t-shirts and some drawstring pajama pants. "Are these okay?" He asks. She nods and heads to the bathroom to change. He takes the opportunity to change into a white t-shirt and boxer shorts and then sits on the edge of the bed waiting for her.

When she finally appears, she's wearing his t-shirt but she's decided against the pajamas pants. He swallows a lump in his throat and immediately feels guilty for the thoughts running through his head. She just… She looks amazing. Her exposed legs and the bits of lacey black underwear peeking out from under _his_ shirt. She's taken the elastic out of her hair so it's cascading down her shoulders and he can't help but notice that she's not wearing a bra. She looks beautiful and he can't stop himself from appreciating it.

She sees him staring. "The pants were too big," she says with a shrug.

"I can find you something else," he says heading back towards his dresser.

"No, I'm fine. Do you have an extra toothbrush? I should probably brush again after that Scotch," she explains.

"Yeah," he says, walking past her, towards the bathroom. She follows close behind and when he hands her a brand new toothbrush that's still in the package, she smiles. They stand in the bathroom together brushing their teeth and it's weird, but it feels almost… normal.

"Thanks," she says after they each rinse out their mouths.

"No problem," he replies before following her out of the bathroom and shutting off the light. She immediately crawls into his bed as he gets in on the other side. He reaches over to shut off the light on his nightstand and when he turns back towards her, she's much closer. He lies back against his pillow and she immediately takes his arm and wraps it around her, so she can comfortably rest her head on his chest. He tries not to show his surprise as she runs her hand up and down his chest, as if this is completely normal, as if they do this every night.

"How did you know that Luke cheated on me?" She asks after a few minutes of silence.

He lets out a sigh. "Because I pay attention," he informs her. She lets out a sigh and he knows that she's hoping for more, so he obliges. "Look, Andy… One day you were happy and then… the next day you were… I don't know. You were upset, defeated, pissed… You were avoiding Callahan and Jo like the plague. And Callahan was constantly watching you. And Jo was constantly watching Callahan. And then there were all of those gifts he was giving you… It just… It all added up. I knew that story about slowing things down was…" He hesitates, trying to find the right word.

"Bull?" She suggests.

"Yeah."

"Ugh," she spits out. "I just feel so… humiliated," she admits.

"Andy… You have nothing to be humiliated about," he assures her.

"Um… really? My fiancé cheated on me and I had no idea! I'm a cop. I should've known. I mean, I knew there was something off about him and Jo, but he kept telling me there was nothing between them and I believed him like an idiot," she tells him with a disgusted tone in her voice.

"Andy, none of this is on you. It's on Callahan. He had something amazing and he fucked it all up," he reminds her.

He can practically feel her eyes rolling at him.

"Andy…" He begins.

"Maybe I'm just unlovable," she suggests.

"What?" He scoffs, mainly because he cannot believe she actually just suggested that.

"I just… My mother left me. Luke cheated on me. It has to be me. There's obviously something wrong with me." She explains.

"There is nothing wrong with you," he replies without hesitation.

She lifts her head to look at him as if she doesn't believe him. "There must be, right? My fiancé cheated on me. There has to be a reason. I must have done something."

"You didn't do anything," he promises. "There's something wrong with _him_ ," he adds. And he believes it, too. There is something wrong with any man who has Andy McNally and sleeps with another woman.

"Maybe I'm just bad in bed," she continues.

That's when he actually does laugh out loud.

"What?" She asks, turning towards him and propping herself up on an elbow.

"Andy, I promise, you are _not_ bad in bed," he guarantees.

She accepts his words with a smile and begins speaking again. "You know what is really freaking me out?" She asks.

"What?"

"How not heartbroken I am," she replies simply.

He doesn't respond because, well, he really wants her to continue.

"My fiancé cheated on me and I'm not heartbroken. I'm just… I feel stupid and embarrassed and I'm pissed. _Really_ pissed… There is definitely something wrong with me. I was going to marry him and he cheated on me and I'm not a blubbering mess. What does that tell you?" She asks, but there is no way he is answering that question.

"I mean, I'm upset, obviously, but it's more like… I don't know… that feeling that you weren't enough… It just sucks, you know?" She asks, momentarily glancing up at him. Before he even has a chance to respond, she continues.

"I don't even know why I said yes..." she says, as if she's simply thinking out loud. "I guess it just felt good to have someone love me enough to want to marry me. Isn't that pathetic?" She asks, but he's smart enough to know that she doesn't want an answer. "I think it just all seemed so… normal, you know? I just- I never had that growing up and I always wanted it. I thought he was safe. I thought he wouldn't hurt me. I thought I could be happy…" she continues. "But the truth is, I've been having doubts for a long time," she confesses.

He raises his eyebrows. Doubts? This whole time she was having doubts? Before he can ask her to elaborate, she continues.

"And yet, I still agreed to marry him. Next week! He wanted to push up the wedding and I stupidly agreed. Why did I do that?" She wonders, but he knows it's a rhetorical question.

"I think I was just trying to convince myself that it was right… That he was the right person, but I mean… if you're really with the right person, you shouldn't have to convince yourself, right? I just… I guess I thought that all of my doubts were just cold feet, you know? I thought it was just my commitment-phobia popping up again, but I don't think it was. I think I knew all along that he wasn't the right person for me… God, you know how you're always telling me to trust my gut?" She asks, but again, she doesn't wait for a response. "I wish I had, because my gut was definitely telling me something wasn't right."

She finally takes a breath and it's his turn to speak. "Really?" He asks, because he has to know more. He has to know more about these doubts she was having and exactly what her gut had been telling her.

"Yeah. I mean, I never felt like I was a priority…he was _always_ putting the job ahead of me. I mean, I get that his job is important- of course I do, but it would've been nice to be number one on the list at least once in a while," she explains. He nods, allowing her to continue.

"And the way he does his job sometimes… I just- I don't know… Sometimes I feel like he is _too_ immune to all of the death and violence... Like he doesn't actually care about the victims, he just wants to solve the puzzle, you know? And he was never there when I needed him… He would just believe me whenever I told him he was fine. I know it's not really fair to blame him for not being able to read my mind, but c'mon! Everyone else could always tell when I wasn't fine, but my fiancé? No, he would just take my word for it and believe that I was okay. I think he just wanted to believe it because then he was free to go back to work, instead of actually being there for me, you know? …. And we didn't really have much in common- I mean, besides our jobs… And the sex wasn't so great either," she says, immediately regretting it the moment it leaves her lips.

Sam tries his best to hold back his grin, but he doesn't have much success. "Oh yeah?" He asks, quirking his eyebrow.

"Shut up," she laughs. It's the first time she's laughed in a while and it feels really good. "It wasn't _bad,"_ she defends. "It was good… just not the best I'd ever had," she tells him.

"Not bad. Just what every guy wants to hear, McNally," he teases. As much as he thought he wouldn't enjoy talking about her sex life with Callahan, he's actually more than enjoying it.

"I guess you've just ruined me for other men," she quips, only half sarcastically. He doesn't even attempt to fight the grin this time.

"Oh really?" He beams.

"Maybe," she shrugs with a smirk playing on her lips.

"Hm," Sam says with a smile. They lock eyes and it's then that she realizes how close his face is to hers. She sneaks a glance at his lips and she can't stop herself from leaning in closer and kissing him. He freezes for moment, but a second later his hand is cupping the back of her head, deepening the kiss as his tongue slips inside her mouth. His fingers dance under the hem of her shirt as he pulls her a little closer. She shifts her body so she is straddling him and as his tongue carresses hers, she lets out a moan. The sound goes straight to his groin, and it's then that he realizes that he shouldn't be doing this.

"Andy," he breathes, trying to pull away.

"No," she argues, before leaning in for another kiss. "Please," she adds as she kisses him again. When she feels his hesitation, she pulls away and meets his gaze. "Sam, c'mon, don't tell me to stop," she pleads.

She hates how desperate she sounds, but she needs this. While she's not exactly heartbroken about her breakup, she has never felt so insecure. She can't help but wonder what she wasn't giving Luke that he needed to get from Jo. She can't help but feel that she isn't pretty enough, she isn't sexy enough, she isn't good enough. And she knows that Sam can erase all of that for her. She knows that he'll make her feel sexy and wanted and like she is absolutely _more_ than enough. She just… she desperately wants to feel that right now.

He stares at her for a second and he hates how uncertain she seems. She's lost the confidence that she usually has in spades and it's been replaced by vulnerability and hurt. He can't remember ever seeing her look like this. Callahan has really done a number on her.

She isn't looking at him anymore and he can see that she's already second guessing herself.

Before he has a chance to reassure her, she speaks. "I guess there really is something wrong with me," she says softly as she starts to climb off of him. He tries to reach for her but she's already getting out of his bed. "I should just go," she says, unable to look at him.

He hops out of bed and meets her in the middle of the room.

"Andy, no-" He begins, but she cuts him off.

"Sam, it's fine. I get it. You don't want me," she tells him. The way she says it makes him feel sick to his stomach.

"God, Andy, no- I… I want you, okay? Of course I want you," he assures her. "God, look at you," he continues as he runs his eyes down her body. She finally looks up at him and he cups her face with one hand, holding her head in place so she won't look away. "Seriously… You're beautiful… I don't think you even know how beautiful you are… and you're sexy as hell… and that sound you make when I kiss your neck or nibble on your ear drives me absolutely insane… And you smell fucking amazing. Seriously what is that smell?" He asks, trying to lighten the mood.

She smiles. "Gardenia… and jasmine," she informs him.

"Well it smells unbelievable," he adds. "Should I go on?" He asks with a smile.

"Yes," she says with a nod.

"Okay," he says with a smile. He grabs her hand and pulls her back towards his bed. They both sit on top of the covers, facing each other.

He smiles. "Your legs," he begins, while running a hand up and down her thigh. "I love your legs… And your eyes… I just… I kind of get lost in them sometimes. And your skin is so soft that I just want to touch you _all_ the time. And your boobs are just… I don't know… a perfect handful," he continues, as he plays with the hem of her t-shirt.

"Yeah?" She asks, glancing up at him.

"Yeah," he confirms with a nod.

He briefly considers telling her all of the other reasons he can never get her out of his head- her unbelievable laugh, her optimism, the way she cares about people, how brave and smart she is, her gorgeous smile, the way she's never afraid to call him or anyone else out when they're being an ass, the fact that she's an amazing cop- but he decides against it because he's not really sure he's ready to tell her those things yet. And he's almost certain that she's not ready to hear them.

"So… Long story short, I want you," he convinces her. "I just… Look, you've had a rough day, a rough _couple_ of days and I just… I don't want to take advantage of that… I don't want you to do anything you'd regret," he explains.

She quirks an eyebrow, obviously confused by his admission. "Why would you think I'd regret it? It's not like we've never had sex before," she reminds him.

"I just… I don't want a repeat of what happened after the blackout," he clarifies.

She's surprised. "You think that _I_ regretted the blackout?" She asks.

He furrows his eyebrows. "Well, uh… yeah…"

"You're the one who said, _it was what it was_ ," she points out.

"I only said that because you had gone back to Callahan. What was I supposed to say?" He asks.

"Sam! I was going to tell him that I didn't want to go to his stupid fishing cabin, but then you…"

"Oh." He says, because he can't think of anything else to say. "Shit."

"Yeah," she nods.

An awkward silence fills the air and he has no idea what to say next. Luckily, he doesn't have to say anything because she interrupts his thoughts by scooting closer to him.

"So… Now that that's cleared up… Can we have sex now?" She asks with a teasing smile. He can tell she's trying her best to be confident, but he knows her well enough to know that she's still a little uncertain about his answer.

He lets out a laugh and meets her gaze. Her eyes have darkened and she's biting her bottom lip and he knows he's done for.

He sighs internally. He is seriously in trouble when it comes to this woman. And even though he wants so much more than what she's offering, he knows that he's going to give her exactly what she needs.

"Okay," he nods with a smile. Before he has even a second to think, her lips are on his and she's straddling him again.

His hands instinctively find her waist under her shirt and he pulls her closer while their tongues clash. He can immediately feel her impatience as she quickly runs her hands up his chest and pulls away from him so she can lift his shirt over his head. Her lips start to place wet kisses up and down his throat before it's his turn to remove her shirt.

She pushes him down so he is lying flat on his back and her lips meet his again. As he is reacquainting himself with her breasts, she sneaks a hand down his boxers and grabs his hardening cock. He lets out a groan at the contact and she begins to run her hand up and down him a few times until he is rock hard. It's then that his hands start to move south as well. He runs a finger over the outside of her panties, applying just enough pressure on the moist fabric to elicit a beautiful sound from her lips.

After a minute or so, she decides she's had enough foreplay. It's been way too longer since he's been inside her and she wants nothing more than to change that. Right the fuck now.

She quickly pushes his boxers down his legs, allowing him to wiggle out of them. He follows her lead and slides her panties down her legs before she kicks them off. She crawls up his body until she's perfectly lined up and he watches as she slowly lowers herself onto him. She closes her eyes, throws her head back and lets out a moan as he completely fills her up. She isn't used to his size anymore and it feels amazing to have him inside her again.

She gives herself a moment to adjust before meeting his gaze and starting to circle her hips while moving up and down. He can't do anything except watch her. The expression on her face and the way her breasts are bouncing up and down - it's ridiculously sexy and he just can't believe she's letting him do this again and he wants to enjoy every single second. He's determined to memorize every inch of her body, every expression on her face, every sound she makes, because who knows if or when he'll get this chance again.

She's leans back and bites her bottom lip as he hits the absolute perfect spot. She can't stop the moans from escaping and he's just… he's in awe of her. He's half convinced that at any moment, he's going to wake up and be alone in his bed. It's not like he hasn't had this dream before…

"God… Sam…" she moans, waking him from his thoughts. His hands are squeezing her thighs and she starts to quicken the pace. "Shit, Sam… You feel so good…" she tells him.

He can start to feel her flutter around him and he knows that she's close. He reaches down to begin rubbing her clit and just watches as she moans his name while the orgasm washes over her. Moments later, she collapses on top of him, still circling her hips in the slowest possible way while she kisses him.

He runs his hands up and down her back before they get lost in her hair. He enjoys the simple act of kissing her while she teases him with her painfully slow movements, but he wants to give her a second to collect herself.

When she starts to speed up, he knows she's ready and he swiftly flips her over so he's hovering on top. He pulls away and looks at her smiling face. He plants one more kiss on her lips before turning his attention to her throat. His hands are on her hips and he's slowly pushing in and out of her while gently sucking on her neck.

She bucks her hips at him and he pulls at her thigh, directing her to bend her knee, which allows him to get even deeper. The movement elicits a gasp from her lips and she starts to grab him a little tighter.

"Jesus Andy," he groans, while he begins to move faster.

"Sam…" she moans. "God, Sam… I missed this," she tells him in a breathy voice as she digs her fingers into his shoulder.

"Me too," he admits before he can even convince himself to just shut up. He cups her face and kisses her, hard, before he can say anything else.

She's moaning in his mouth and he's picking up the pace as his hands explore every inch of her smooth skin. He can feel the goosebumps start to form on her stomach as his hands slid up her body before palming her breasts and running his thumbs over her nipples. She moans louder and bends her other knee, making her even tighter. He groans and starts to move a bit faster as his hands get lost in her hair again. He starts to gently tug at her hair before blowing a warm breath inside her ear.

She's moaning with each and every thrust and it's becoming too much. The sounds coming out of this women are just unbelievable and he just wants to hear more.

He starts to fuck her harder, causing her to moan even louder. He'd worry about waking the neighbors if he could actually form a coherent thought.

She's gasping his name and her fingers are digging into him so much so that he's sure he'll wake up with bruises. The fact that she starts to twitch around him coupled with the ridiculously sexy noises coming out of her mouth are enough to push him over the edge with her.

He stays inside of her for a good couple of minutes while they both try to catch their breath.

"Jesus," she whispers in between all of the panting.

"Yeah," he agrees before he pulls out of her and rolls to his side.

Sex with Sam was always unbelievable, but that was seriously something else. Maybe it's just the fact that she hadn't been with him in over a year or maybe it's the fact that she had been having average sex for so long, but this time felt… even better than every other time and she's not sure how that is even possible, but she's absolutely sure of it.

"How did I make it so long without this?" She muses, still half in a daze.

He lets out a chuckle. He was just thinking the same thing. "You tell me," he jokes, causing her to roll her eyes.

The next few minutes are quiet as they both stare at the ceiling and the awkward silence falls over them. It's another minute or so before Andy finally speaks up.

"Got anything to eat?" She asks.

He lets out a laugh. "Work up an appetite, McNally?" He teases, glancing over at her. She smiles. She's glad that he's teasing her. It makes this whole thing seem normal- exactly the way it used to be. It's almost as if the past year never happened and they've been doing this the entire time.

"I didn't eat dinner!" She exclaims with a laugh.

"Okay, then I guess I should feed you," he says, slipping out of bed and putting on his boxers and t-shirt.

"Yes you should," she agrees as throws his t-shirt over her head and follows him to the kitchen.

===============Secrets============

He makes her a grilled cheese sandwich and sits beside her on the couch as she eats it. After a full minute of unbearable silence, he decides to turn on Sportscenter and watch the highlights from the Leaf's game.

"That was unequivocally the best grilled cheese I've ever had," she declares as she places the empty plate on his coffee table. "What's your secret?" she inquires.

"I use a few different kinds of cheese and I cut a clove of garlic in half and rub it on the bread," he informs her, without taking his eyes off the television. He's honestly afraid to look at her. She definitely has bedhead and she's wearing his t-shirt and… he really doesn't feel like torturing himself.

"Ah," she responds. "Who knew you were such a chef," she quips.

"It's just grilled cheese," he shrugs as he gets off the couch and takes the plate to the kitchen.

"Still, I'm impressed. It was really good… Crunchy and buttery and the perfect ratio of bread to cheese…" she continues. She's not sure why she's going on and on about grilled cheese, but she can't seem to stop the words from coming out.

She bites her lip, trying to force herself to shut up, as she hops up on the kitchen counter and watches him wash her plate.

"Glad you liked it," he tells her as he focuses on washing the dish and putting it in the drying rack beside the sink. When he's done, he has no other distractions and is forced to look at her.

She smiles at him and uses her foot to direct him towards her. Once he's in reach, she grabs his t-shirt and pulls him closer, so he's standing in between her legs.

He almost says something, but they're kissing before he can even decide what it is that he actually wants to say.

She wraps her legs around him and he's effectively trapped, not that he minds _at all_. His hands land on her hips and he's pulling her to the edge of the counter, so she's as close to him as she can possibly be. Her hands are under his t-shirt and she's pushing it up over his head in less than a second. She throws it somewhere over her shoulder and takes it upon herself to take off her shirt, as well. Sam's nipping at her neck as his fingers graze the underside of her breasts and then run down her sides, as goosebumps follow in their wake.

She's decided that he's going way _too_ slow, so she decides to take matters into her own hands. She grabs him through his boxers, causing him to let out a growl. She immediately pushes his boxers down his legs, allowing him to kick them off. Her hands are on him in an instant and she's pleased at how hard he is already. She runs her hands up and down him with a gentle squeeze and the appreciative noises coming from him tell her that he's ready to move this along almost as much as she is.

He wraps his arms around her, so her breasts are rubbing against his chest and with one swift movement, he's completely inside her. He starts off slowly, pushing his way in and out of her, as he nips at her neck and runs his tongue around the outside of her ear. He continues to move slowly for a few minutes, but when she starts bucking her hips at him, he satisfies her unspoken request to go faster.

He's got her moaning already, but when she leans way back, she gets much louder.

"Sam…. Sam… Oh God…" she moans. He's hitting her in the exact right spot and he's starting to go even faster and she just… she can't even begin to think.

He starts to move his thumb in circles against her clit and that's when she actually starts to become delirious.

"God, Sam…. Shit, don't stop," she begs as she starts to circle her hips, allowing him to reach everywhere he needs to be as his thumb continues doing wondrous things to her.

She's getting even louder and it's only a minute or two later that she starts to twitch around him, bringing him over the edge with her.

He's resting his head on her shoulder as they take a few minutes to catch their breath. When he pulls his head away to look at her, she immediately wraps her hand around the back of his neck and directs his lips towards hers for a brief kiss. When she pulls away, she smiles at him and he can't help but mirror her expression. Even though they just had sex, more than once, he feels like that gesture was… intimate. And he doesn't hate it.

"C'mon, we should go to bed," he says, grabbing her hand and helping her off the counter. After they collect their discarded clothes and get dressed, he takes her hand again and leads her to his bedroom. They slip into bed without saying a word and she scoots right up next to him, just as she did before. This time, he voluntarily wraps his arm around her and she rests her head on his chest.

As exhausted as she is, she doesn't want to sleep. She doesn't want to confront what's waiting for her when she closes her eyes.

"What are you thinking about, McNally?" Sam asks. He can't see her eyes, but he can feel how tense she is and he just knows her mind is racing.

She considers lying to him for a moment, but when she glances up and sees the look in his eyes, she knows that there is no point. He knows her too well.

"I just… don't really want to go to sleep," she admits.

"Are you afraid?" He asks. The question takes her off guard. Again, she's faced with how well he knows her.

"It's okay if you are," he assures her, when she stays silent.

"I just… keep seeing him. Whenever, I close my eyes… he's there. He's looking at me, yelling at me, putting duct tape over my eyes," she confesses.

He tries to keep his expression neutral. He doesn't want her to see the effect her words are having on him. He feels guilty. He feels completely disgusted with himself. And realizing that he was so close to losing her today, he feels completely terrified.

He holds her even tighter and begins drawing circles on her hip with his thumb, trying to soothe her. "Andy, it's okay. I'm right here. I've got you. Everything's going to be okay," He promises.

The combination of his words and his touch are enough to relax her and soon enough, she's falling asleep.

===============Secrets============

There is another chapter.

PLEASE tell me what you think. I hope everyone is not too disappointed that I skipped ahead. Like I said, maybe I'll find some inspiration and add another chapter in between this one and the last one, but who knows.

Please review!


	8. Doubt

Thanks for all of the kind reviews! I already have the next chapter more than halfway written, so I should be able to update soon!

===============Secrets============

It's been three days and they still haven't talked about that night. Part of her is almost convinced that she dreamt the entire thing considering how normal it's been between them. Even that very next morning was completely normal… or as normal as it could be. He made her coffee and toast while she showered. She ate and watched the news while he showered. He dropped her off at Tracey's house and told her he'd see her at work the next morning and to call if she needed anything.

The way things have been between them… It's as if nothing at all has changed. It's as if he didn't give her three unbelievable orgasms over the span of two hours. It's as if she didn't spend the night in his bed. It's as if she didn't wake up the next morning with his arms wrapped around her.

She's been staring at him a lot recently. Whenever he's not looking, she's trying to figure him out. She's trying to convince herself that she's not crazy and that night actually did happen. She wants to bring it up. She wants to talk about it, but she's not sure she's actually ready for that conversation yet.

She doesn't regret it- not one bit- but she's not sure she's ready to discuss it either. Things with Luke just ended and… whatever this is with Sam… she knows she probably shouldn't be doing it… at least not _now_.

Although, if she's honest, she's kind of been trying to work up the nerve to ask him if they can do it again… and again. Why can't she enjoy having sex with Sam until she's ready for something more? Is that really so bad? But the fact that he hasn't brought it up either… it's making her wonder if he feels differently.

So, when Best announces that the two of them will be spending the next few shifts on a surveillance detail together, she knows she's in trouble. How is she supposed to sit in a tiny apartment all day with Sam? There's no way they'll be able to avoid talking about it now. And she's pretty sure she won't be able to keep her hands to herself. Not that she really wants to.

It's as if her mind forced her to forget how stupidly good Sam is at sex. And now that she's been reminded, she really doesn't want to go back to forgetting. She doubts she could even if she wanted to.

Sure, if she tried hard enough, she could get there with Luke, especially after she was able to convince him to be a little more adventurous. There was even that one morning when they were looking at a house and she convinced him to take her right there on the kitchen counter.

She actually got the idea from Sam. He had fucked her on his kitchen counter more than once and it was… incredibly hot. So, yeah, she thought that maybe doing that with Luke would spice things up a bit. And yeah, she was kind of hoping it would help her forget about Sam.

It had actually taken way more convincing than she'd like to admit. She was almost embarrassed by his resistance and her persistence, but she _finally_ got him to agree. And it had been good, but it definitely wasn't the same. Instead of helping her forget about Sam, it was just another reminder of how much Luke couldn't compare.

Anyway, now she and Sam have spent the past day and a half being stuck in this tiny crappy apartment watching surveillance footage and listening to audio of two drug dealers and it's been absolute torture. The boredom alone is enough to make her crazy, but then you add Sam into the mix and the fact that he isn't touching her… well, it's seriously making her wonder if she needs some kind of therapy. To make matters worse, it's a million degrees and there is no air conditioning in this stuffy apartment. At least it's better than it was yesterday. She brought two fans with her this morning and she made sure she was wearing practically nothing. She's sporting her cutest pair of short shorts, a tight camisole and a pair of flip flops. Yeah, so maybe she picked out this outfit with Sam in mind, just hoping that he'll see her in it and decide to fuck her senseless right then and there.

No such luck, though. She's not even sure he noticed her little outfit. When she showed up at the apartment this morning, he only glanced at her for a second before grunting a quick hello. If she's being honest, it was insanely disappointing.

As much as she _really_ doesn't want to talk, she is a bit desperate to have his hands all over her again. Ever since he dropped her off at Tracey's that morning, she's been having trouble focusing on anything else. Sure, she still thinks about how pissed she is at Luke and how terrified she was in that storage locker, but out of the three things that have been on her mind lately, she'd much rather be thinking about Sam… so, she usually does.

And considering how unbelievably boring this surveillance job has been, she's not sure how she's supposed to get her mind off of him. Seriously, there hasn't been more than one mention of anything even hallway illegal and she's wondering if this is just one big joke someone is trying to play on her.

"I'm beginning to think Best is punishing us for something," she quips as she collapses on the couch.

Sam swivels in his desk chair and looks at her. "Did you do something you need to be punished for, McNally?" He asks. And she's not sure why, but the question makes her nervous.

"Don't think so," she informs him.

"Hm," he says, still holding her gaze. She realizes that this is the first time he's actually _looked_ at her today and it's the first sort of conversation they've had in the three hours they've been here. She's not sure why, but he seems like he's in a mood today and she really hates it. She wishes he would tease her or tell her a funny story about something Oliver did- anything really. She'd even accept a hambulance joke right about now. She just can't stand the way he hasn't been talking to her.

Her mind starts to race with all of the ways she could make him feel better… and make herself feel better, too. Seriously, it's like now that she's gotten a taste of him again, she is already addicted.

Suddenly, her thoughts are interrupted by the noise coming from the speakers.

"Let's get out of here, I'm starving," they hear one of the suspects say. Sam turns around and Andy gets off the couch and sits beside him as they both watch the screen.

"Yeah, let's go," they hear his buddy agree.

Sam picks up the radio. "They're on the move. Looks like they're getting lunch," he tells Williams and Peck, who are in the unmarked car down the street.

"Copy," Peck says over the radio.

Her heartrate starts to quicken at the realization that they no longer have any distractions. They will have absolutely nothing to do until the suspects return. Her mind starts racing again- she's thinking of all of the things she'd like to do with their free time. All of the things she'd like Sam to do to her. Right the fuck now.

She glances over at him and notices that he's peering down at his cell phone. She briefly wonders if he's actually reading something or if he's just trying to distract himself. It's then that her eyes begin to wander. First, they rake over his chest and the way his muscles look in his t-shirt. As good as this man looks in his uniform, he looks even better in his t-shirts and jeans.

Then, she notices the way his fingers start to tap on the desk and she can't stop herself from recalling the way his hands feel when they're running all over her. Her mind really starts to run wild after that. His lips making their way down her throat. His tongue running circles around her nipples. His hands grabbing her ass…

It's the sound of his throat clearing that finally awakens her from her thoughts.

"Hm?" She asks.

"I asked if you were hungry," he repeats. "There is a pretty good sandwich shop down the street. I can go grab something," he offers with a shrug.

"Uh, sure," she agrees. He nods and stands up, going to search for his wallet, which he thinks he left in the kitchen. He doesn't notice her following him until he grabs his wallet and turns around, effectively bumping right into her.

He looks down at her, trying to figure out what she's doing, but before he can even get a word out, she is grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him down to her. He doesn't have even a moment to think before her lips are on his and she's kissing him. Hard. She coaxes his mouth open and immediately begins caressing his tongue with hers.

Her hand has snuck under his t-shirt and her fingers are grazing his abs by the time his brain finally registers what's happening. She's standing on her toes and begins kissing her way down his throat as she starts to push him against the wall.

"Andy…" he begins, having no idea how he's going to finish this sentence when she's sucking on his neck like this.

"Shhh… It's fine, they'll be gone for a while. We'll hear them when they come back," she rationalizes.

That's when he remembers that they are at work. The second she kissed him, thoughts of drug dealers and surveillance had completely escaped his mind. The return of those thoughts almost force him to pull away, but she starts unbuckling his belt, unbuttoning his jeans and sticking her hand down his boxers.

Yeah, he's not sure he could stop now even if he wanted to.

The thing is, he _really_ doesn't want to. This morning, when she showed up in that tiny outfit, he knew it was going to be a long day. He was almost sure that she was actually _trying_ to torture him. Those shorts are exposing a serious amount of leg and cupping her ass in the most perfect way and that tight tank top is giving her just enough cleavage to make it hard to look away.

So, yeah. He _really_ doesn't want to stop.

And now- the way she's stroking him. Yeah, he's not stopping.

With the decision made, he decides it's time for him to really join in. He grabs her ass and pulls her closer to him as he bites and sucks on her earlobe. She's scrambling to remove his clothes, so he decides to lift her tank top over her head and toss it aside. After taking a moment to admire her in the lacey black bra she's wearing, he works on unbuttoning those damn shorts.

"These shorts have been driving me crazy all morning," he admits, while placing kisses up her throat.

She pulls away and meet his eyes, offering him a genuine smile. "I was hoping they would," she informs him, seductively.

"So, you _were_ trying to torture me." Her words definitely take him off guard, but the fact that she's basically admitting to wearing them just for him, it's… well, it's _really_ turning him on.

"Maybe a little," she grins, before pulling him in for several kisses. He finally gets her shorts unbuttoned and unzipped, causing them to fall to the floor. She quickly steps out of them, just as he did when she pushed his jeans down his legs. She makes quick work of his t-shirt and runs her hands up and down his chest, as they stand in the kitchen wearing nothing but their underwear.

His fingers start to travel down her body until they reach the top of her underwear. He can feel her take a sharp breath as his hand sneaks inside. He runs one finger along her center, going especially slow.

He lets out a serious groan, when he feels how unbelievably wet she is.

"That's what happens when I think about you… us… and I've been thinking about this _all_ morning," she confesses. She's not one to typically say things like this, especially to someone she's not even dating, but for some reason, she just wants him to _know_.

"Jesus Andy," he groans, because those are the only words he can get to come out of his mouth right now. The thought of her getting _that_ wet just thinking about him… God, he fairly certain that he's never been as hard as he is at this moment.

He pushes her panties down her legs and she quickly steps out of them before he picks her up and walks her over to the kitchen table. He places her at the head of the table and starts kissing her again. His hands move up her body and immediately unhooks her bra, before pushing the straps off her shoulders. He instantly cups her breasts and sucks on her neck until she starts to moan… a lot.

She is getting increasingly impatient, so she pushes his boxers down his legs and grabs his cock again. She strokes him a few times before letting him go and pushing at his chest so he takes a step back. He shoots her a confused look, but she just grins at him before jumping off the table and turning around. After placing her hands on the table and bending slightly at the hip, she smirks at him over her shoulder and sticks her ass in the air, letting him know exactly how she wants him to take her. He shakes his head and bites his bottom lip. _This woman._

He grabs her hips and bends his knees just enough so they are lined up before he completely fills her in one swift move. She lets out a breathy gasp and starts to circle her hips a little bit.

She's wanted him like this ever since the dream she had two nights ago, where he fucked her just like this… on Jo's desk of all things. Yeah, she knows how sick that is, but she'll worry about that later.

They both start moving against each other and she's gasping with each and every thrust. It's after a couple minutes that he gets one hand on her breast, while the other one travels south. She wraps one of her hands around the back of his neck and pulls herself towards him, so she can straighten up just a bit. This new angle makes her even tighter and it allows Sam to reach exactly where she wants him to touch her.

"Oh… Oh God," she gasps at his touch. He's applying the exact right amount of pressure on her clit and timing it perfectly with each and every thrust. She knows she's getting loud, but she can't stop the noises coming out of her mouth. Her entire body is tingling at the sensations he's creating with his finger and his cock. "Sam… God… Sam, _don't_ stop," she pleads.

"Not stopping McNally," he grins. He starts nibbling on her neck as he quickens the pace and to his surprise, she gets even louder. He should probably worry about the neighbors calling in a noise complaint and the cops showing up at the door, but he can't make himself think about anything except her right now.

Her legs are beginning to feel like jelly and she's starting to think she might just fall over. She uses her hands to brace herself against the table and starts to bend over a little more this time. This new position has got him _impossibly_ deep and it's making her dizzy with pleasure.

"Fuck, _Sam_ ," she whimpers. "That feels _so_ good," she tells him.

"Andy…" he groans. God, he loves when she says stuff like that.

He starts rubbing circles on her clit, while picking up the pace once again. She's panting and moaning and gasping as she circles her hips, letting him reach every inch of her.

He adds more pressure to her clit when he feels her starting to flutter around him and that's exactly what takes them both over the edge just moments later.

"Wow," she pants, still trying to catch her breath.

"Yeah," he concedes with a nod, as he pulls out of her.

"Pretty good way to spend our lunch break," she says as she turns around to face him, shooting him a big grin.

"Way better than sandwiches," he agrees with a smile.

That's when she wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him in for a passionate kiss. Her tongue caresses his for a few minutes, before she eventually pulls away. The act surprises him because it's not something they used to do after sex, but he doesn't have time to think about that now.

"I am kind of hungry, though," she tells him with a sly smile.

He lets out a laugh. "Okay, I'll go get us some lunch," he says as he starts to collect his clothes, which are scattered all over the apartment.

===============Secrets============

He's so lost in thought that he almost walks right past the sandwich shop. On his way back to the apartment, he's just as lost.

What the fuck just happened back there?

He had just assumed that night was a one-time thing. She was feeling insecure and hurt and scared and she just wanted to forget. She wanted to feel better- wanted to feel like somebody wanted her. And he was willing to help her with that.

He told himself that he was going to give her time to get over Luke and then when she was finally ready, he would maybe take her out to dinner. He would make sure she knew exactly what he wanted and he'd hope to God that she wanted the same things. Yeah, someday he was planning to make his move. And until then, he would just be there for her, as a friend.

But then she shows up in those shorts and that top. Then she jumps him in the middle of the kitchen.

Seriously, what was he supposed to do?

And would it really be terrible if they do this again? At least until she's ready for something more?

If that's what she wants, how is he supposed to say no? God knows he hasn't exactly figured out how to say no to that woman.

But then again, maybe he's worrying about this for nothing. Who knows what she's thinking. He certainly doesn't.

It's when he starts walking up the stairs to the apartment that he decides that they'll have to talk about this. He just… They need to be on the same page. He needs to know exactly what this is, so he can act accordingly. He really does want something with her someday, and he doesn't want whatever the hell this is to mess that up.

He opens the door and finds her sitting on the couch, back in those shorts and that tank top. She looks up from her magazine as he walks in the door.

"They back yet?" He asks as he sets the food down on the coffee table in front of her.

"Nope. Gail says they are running errands," she says with a roll of her eyes.

"Exciting," he dead pans.

"I know… Seriously, are we sure that Jerry's CI isn't just messing with us? He said the deal was happening this week and they haven't mentioned _anything_ about it," she whines as he sits beside her and passes her sandwich to her.

"I don't know. We'll see. It's only been two days," he shrugs.

"Yeah," she agrees before taking a bite out of her sandwich.

"Andy?" He says, as he turns to look at her.

"Hm?"

"What was that… before?" He asks, nodding his head towards the kitchen table.

"Sex," she says with a shrug. He rolls his eyes. Of course she can't make anything easy.

"Andy…" he warns.

"Yeah?"

He rolls his eyes again. "Uh. Okay. Look, I guess I just want to know if… if we're doing _this_ again or if that was just a spur of the moment, probably won't happen again type of thing," he explains. "I mean… I'm fine either way, I just kind of thinking that we should probably be on the same page."

"Really? You're _fine_ either way? Wow, thanks," she frowns.

"Andy… I just… I don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you to do something you don't want to do," he clarifies.

"Did it really look like I didn't want to do that?" She asks, with more attitude than she intended.

He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Andy, I'm just trying to take your lead here."

Now it's her turn to sigh. She was really hoping they could hold off on having this conversation, at least until she wasn't so confused.

But the truth is, she's not really _that_ confused. She feels like maybe she should be more confused, but yeah, she's not. She's definitely done depriving herself of sex with Sam.

"Well, I'm definitely not okay with that being a spur of the moment, probably won't happen again type of thing," she tells him, mimicking his earlier words.

"Okay," he says with a nod, trying to digest her words. "So… what does that mean?" He asks her.

"That we should keep doing this," she tells him. "If you want," she adds.

Now he's really rolling his eyes. Does she seriously think he doesn't want to?

"You want to come over tonight?" He asks her, hoping that will clear up any doubts she has.

"Yes," she says with a smile.

===============Secrets============

There is chapter eight. Please review! They are my motivation.

FYI, there will probably be at least two more chapters set during the few weeks in between episode seven and episode eight. Possibly three, but we'll see.


	9. Remedy

When he wakes up the next morning with her in his arms, his mind immediately starts to race. He's desperately trying to figure out what he can say to stop her from completely freaking out about this. He's sure that once she wakes up and realizes where she is, she's going to pace around the room and lecture him about all of their rules and the difference between fuck buddies and people in relationships.

But then a strange thing happens. She wakes up. She smiles. She kisses him. And she doesn't say one word about forbidden sleepovers or rule breaking. It makes him wonder if there are different rules this time around.

Instead of the lecture he was expecting, she shoves her hand under the covers and grabs him, giving him a quick squeeze.

"You know… We don't have to be at work for almost two hours," she reminds him, making sure to use her bedroom voice while batting her eyelashes a few times.

He glances at the clock and then back at her. "Hm, you're right," he says as he moves to hover over her.

"Whatever will we do?" She flirts with a grin on her face.

"I have a few ideas," he informs her.

"Oh yeah?" She asks, quirking her eyebrow as she continues to stroke him.

"Mhm," he mumbles as he takes her nipple in his mouth.

She lets out a moan and arcs her back. She tries to direct him towards her, but he stops her. He grabs her wrist so she lets go of him and instead, he takes his cock in his hand and uses it to rub against her warm center.

When he hits her clit, she groans and bucks her hips, trying to get him to slide his way inside, but he's not done teasing her yet. He continues to rub against her with the head of his cock, going up and down and then in circles, hitting every bit of sensitive skin she has.

"Fuck… _Sam_ …" she moans. After doing this for a just a minute or two, she's clutching the sheets and biting her lip. That's when Sam decides that she's definitely going to come just like this.

He continues to use the head of his cock to play with her as he starts teasing her body with his mouth. He sucks, nips and licks her everywhere he can reach. He starts with her breasts, then her collarbone, her neck and then her ear. As he's doing this, he gets his fingers tangled in her hair and starts to gently tug just enough to really turn her on.

It's all of these sensations at once plus the fact that his cock has now become solely focused on her clit that finally gets her. She's coming hard and she's moaning his name as she rides out wave after wave of ecstasy.

He just watches her for a moment, enjoying the performance while he allows her to catch her breath and collect herself.

She would be embarrassed by the way he's watching her and by the fact that he made her come in under five minutes with just the head of his cock, but the look in his eyes tells her she doesn't need to be. His eyes are crazy dark and his pupils are way past blown. She can see and feel just how turned on he is by her and she doesn't think she's ever had this kind of effect on anyone else… at least not to this degree. But the thing is, she feels the same way. No one has ever had this kind of effect on her either. If she's being honest… it's kind of awesome and completely terrifying all at once.

When he starts desperately kissing her neck, she knows he's trying to be patient. He's trying to give her a minute to recover. He's trying to make sure she's ready before they start up again. The thing is though, she's pretty much always ready for Sam.

She pushes at his chest and forces him to get back on his knees so she can sit up. When they've both got their knees under them, she pushes on his chest once again so he sits back on his ass with his legs straight out in front of him before. Once she's got him where she wants him, she straddles him and without saying a word, she quickly slides down onto him.

He doesn't take his eyes off of her as she gasps at him completely filling her up. After a minute, they start to work together with her moving up and down on him while he rocks his hips.

After another few minutes, he leans back a bit, placing his hands behind him to support himself. The angle they've got going is really working for her and she makes sure he knows. She really can't help but be _loud_ and honestly, he can't get enough of the noises she makes.

Her eyes are closed and she's thrown her head back while biting her bottom lip so hard that it's almost completely white.

"Look at me," he demands, his voice way more desperate than he'd like. He wants to see exactly how he is making her feel, exactly what he does to her.

"Sam…" she whimpers as she open her eyes. "God, you feel _really_ good," she moans.

"You, too," he tells her as he takes in the amazing view in front of him. Andy McNally- wild bedhead, bouncing breasts, dark eyes, blown pupils and swollen lips. She's got a look of pure pleasure on her face and the fact that he's responsible for putting it there is seriously too much for him. "So fucking good," he chokes out a moment later.

"Shit... _Sam_ ," she moans as she starts to move faster.

After a little more time has passed, he decides to lean back even further and that's when she lets out a loud gasp. "God… Sam, right _there_ ," she sobs as she continues to go even faster. And it's only a few more minutes before they are both over the edge.

===============Secrets============

"Good shift?" Tracey asks, as she pulls her shirt over her head.

"Kind of boring," Andy shrugs. "You?"

"Super weird," Tracey tells her. "Swarek was in a _ridiculously_ good mood. It was kind of freaking me out."

Andy lets out a laugh. "I wonder why," she says, trying to sound noncommittal.

"Oh I know why," Tracey informs her with a knowing grin.

That's when Andy gets nervous. She does her best not to show it, but she's almost certain that her best friend will notice that something's up. "Why?" Andy asks.

"He totally got laid last night. It's so obvious," Tracey rationalizes.

Andy's not sure what to say to that, but she doesn't know whether Tracey is on to her, so she says nothing. Instead she just shakes her head, lets out a laugh and buttons up her shirt.

"So, how's your Dad?" Tracey asks her, thankfully deciding to change the subject.

"Huh?" Andy says, confused by the randomness of her question.

"Your Dad. Didn't you stay there last night?" Tracey asks, giving her a weird look.

"Oh yeah, sorry. Yeah, he's fine. Still going to meetings, so that's good," Andy lies. It's not as if she cab tell Tracey where she actually was last night. God, she can only imagine what Tracey would say if she knew exactly _who_ Andy's been doing lately.

"You know my mom really doesn't mind you staying with us, right?" Tracey questions.

"Yeah, I know," Andy says with a nod.

"Okay, I just want to make sure you're not staying with your Dad because you think you're inconveniencing us or something. We love having you… especially Leo," Tracey smiles.

"Thanks Trace. I don't know, I've just been trying to spend a little more time with him, you know?" Andy tells her. A part of her feels guilty for lying, but it's only a small lie, so she tries to shrug it off. There's no way she can tell Tracey right now. She really doesn't want another jar of ice with a Post-It Note in her freezer.

"Yeah, I get it," Tracey nods, as they walk out of the locker room. "Got any plans for tonight?" She asks.

"Um… I don't know. My Dad and I might be having dinner. I should call him," she says as she pulls out her phone. Okay, now she's really starting to feel guilty…

"Well, I'm going to go say goodnight to Jerry. It's poker night," she says with a roll of her eyes. "Let me know if you need a ride."

"Thanks, Trace."

She frowns at the realization that it is indeed poker night, but she decides to call Sam anyway. Maybe he's got a little time beforehand. She almost laughs at herself. When did she become this person who can't go one night without sex? Although, she already knows the answer. It pretty much started the moment she was re-introduced to sex with Sam Swarek.

"Hey," he says when he picks up the phone on the second ring.

"Hey," she replies.

"What's up?"

"Just wanted to know if you had a little time before poker night," she inquires, trying to sound seductive. "Thought maybe we could hang out."

"Wish I could but Shaw's making me go with him to pick up the food and beer," he informs her. His tone of voice tells her just how much he loves the idea. She can literally hear his eyes rolling. "I'm on my way to his place now."

She lets out a laugh. "What, he's too afraid to go shopping alone?" She teases.

"Apparently," he groans. "I think he just wants someone to carry everything for him."

"So you're saying that you're his bitch," Andy quips.

"Hilarious, McNally," he grumbles.

"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow at work. Try not to be too hungover," she reminds him.

"Not making any promises," he teases.

"Bye Sam."

"Bye McNally."

===============Secrets============

Well, he's definitely hungover. She knew the moment she saw him. The sunglasses. The giant bottle of Advil in his hand. The way he keeps pinching the bridge of his nose trying to will the headache away.

And of course she's partnered with him today. This is going to be fun.

"You're driving, McNally," he says, as he tosses her the keys. Well, at least there's that.

She does her best not to talk, but unfortunately, it's not a slow day.

After getting several calls all over the city, they end up getting called to the home of a missing child. The parents are obviously hysterical and they refuse to go down to the station, arguing that someone needs to be at the house in case their son comes back.

That's when Noelle tells them that Andy and Sam will wait at the house in case the kid comes back. Normally that would really piss her off, but she figures that it'll be good for Sam to have a little time to relax.

Once everyone leaves, she joins him on the couch. They sit in silence for what seems like forever. After about ten minutes, she decides she has to say something.

"So… Did you win last night?" She asks, using her quiet voice.

"Yep."

"That's good. How much?"

"$300."

"Nice. Who lost?" She inquires.

"Jerry."

"Of course… Does he ever win?" She asks with a light chuckle.

"Not really."

"So why does he play?" She wonders.

"McNally… Can you just… be quiet?" He asks, pinching the bridge of his nose again.

She sighs and looks around the room, trying to find something to distract her. She ends up picking up a magazine that's sitting on the coffee table, but it's nothing she's interested in so she flips through it quickly.

"You know, you really should just drink less during poker night," she informs him. The second she says it she knows it was stupid, but she's just… bored.

He rolls his eyes. "Why didn't I think of that?" He growls.

"God, you're such a grump," she whines while crossing her arms across her chest.

Not surprisingly, he doesn't respond, which only annoys her more.

God, she's _so_ bored. She almost considers picking a fight with him just so she'll have something to distract her, but then she gets a better idea.

Before she can talk herself out of it, she slips her duty belt off, gets in his lap and starts kissing his neck.

"What are you doing?" He asks.

"Trying to make you feel better," she mumbles against his neck.

"Andy…" he begins, fully intending to tell her that he's really not in the mood. But then she cups him through his pants while teasing his earlobe in between her teeth and he stops himself mid-sentence. Suddenly, he's in the mood after all.

She takes his duty belt off and places it on the coffee table behind her. Then she's starts to work on the buttons of his pants and then the zipper. When she reaches his boxers, she frees his hardening cock and gives it a gentle squeeze, eliciting a groan from his throat. That's when he reaches for the button of her pants, but she slaps his hand away. He shoots her a confused look and she just smiles back.

"Just you," she tells him before moving off his lap, getting on her knees and moving right in between his legs. She uses her hand at first, stroking him once, twice, three times. Then she swirls her tongue around his tip for a moment before taking him completely in her mouth.

"Jesus Andy," he groans. He leans against the back of the couch as he watches the way her head bobs up and down and suddenly his throbbing headache is just a distant memory. She starts to suck on him for a moment, before moving up and down again. She follows her mouth with her hand and gives him a gentle squeeze, for which she is rewarded with an even louder groan.

He reaches down and gets the hair out of her face, wanting to see exactly what she is doing to him. When she looks up at him and makes eye contact, he almost loses it right then and there.

"Mmm…" she moans, still looking him right in the eyes.

He forces himself to close his eyes, knowing that if he doesn't, this will be over way too soon. And yeah, he _really_ doesn't want it to be over, yet.

When's finally able to open his eyes, she's still looking at him with his cock in her mouth and yeah, he's desperately trying to burn this image into his mind.

"McNally…" he groans, as his fingers get tangled in her hair, stopping it from falling back in her face.

She squeezes him just a bit harder and swirls her tongue around his cock a few times before taking him completely in her mouth again.

"Shit," he grunts, throwing his head back to rest on the back of the couch.

She smiles as she strokes him with her lips and her hand. After a few minutes, she decides to switch things up by running her hand all the way up and down his length while sucking on his tip. When she lets out a moan at the same time she begins massaging his balls, he reacts instantly by tugging on her hair and biting down on his lip. Eventually, she takes him completely in her mouth before allowing her lips and hand to work together again. When she adds some more pressure with her fingers while also sucking and humming, it only takes another couple minutes before he's completely gone.

When it's over, she runs her mouth over him one more time before pulling away and looking up at him with a smile. The look on his face almost makes her blush. It's like he's just… in complete disbelief… and there's something else there that she can't really pinpoint.

"Feel better?" She asks with a grin.

"Yeah," he says with a slight nod and a smirk. He seriously is in awe of this woman. "Much better."

"So, are you going to be nicer to me now?" She asks as she stands up.

"I wasn't _not_ being nice to you," he defends as he, too, stands up and buttons his pants.

She shoots him a look- one that says, ' _really_?'

"Okay, I'm sorry. I just… I had a horrible headache," he explains.

"Had?" She asks with a smile.

"Yeah, I guess you're better than Advil, McNally," he quips, as he moves closer to her.

"That is quite the compliment," she laughs, as she walks into the bathroom. She leaves the door open and stands in front of the mirror, trying to straighten out her uniform and fix her hair.

"I thought so," he grins, following her into the bathroom.

She looks at him through the mirror and turns around to face him. Before she has the chance to say anything, he moves her hair out of the way and starts kissing his way up her neck.

"What are you doing?" She asks with a smile.

"Returning the favor," he mumbles against her skin.

"Sam, it's okay… That was purely self-preservation," she teases. He pulls back and looks her in the eye. She's biting her lip, trying to hold back a laugh.

"Oh yeah?" He says with a raised eyebrow, as he starts unbuttoning her pants.

"Mhm," she nods.

He slips his hand inside her underwear and runs his finger in between her legs. She lets out a little gasp as she closes her eyes and continues biting her lip. "Does that mean you want me to stop?" He asks with a grin.

"Ugh," she groans, knowing that he's pretty much got her over a barrel. She moves her hips, trying to get him exactly where she wants him.

He lets out a laugh. "Want me to stop, McNally?" He asks, again.

"Ugh. No. Don't stop," she says, sharply.

He smiles and slides his finger inside her, eliciting a quiet gasp. He slides in another finger and she gasps again, a bit louder this time. She's bucking her hips as he pumps his fingers inside her while nipping at her neck.

"Sam…" she gasps, moving her neck to give him more access.

He puts just the right amount of pressure on her clit and continues to fuck her with his fingers until she comes.

"We really needs to stop doing this at work," she informs him as she buttons up her pants less than ten minutes later.

"You started it," he reminds her with a smirk.

"Yeah, well you kind of gave me no choice," she tells him.

"Really? _No_ choice?" He asks with amusement.

"Yes! You were being such a grump!"

"A grump? That doesn't sound like me like me _at all_ ," he quips.

"I know, you're just Mr. Sunshine, aren't you?"

"That's me," he agrees with a smile.

===============Secrets============

This was sort of a transitional chapter, but there will be more plot coming up. Please review! They are my motivation!


	10. Relief

It all started with an innocent magazine article. Well, actually the magazine article was far from innocent…

They were in a witness's apartment earlier that day, waiting while she packed her bags to go to a safe house. Andy had collapsed on the couch and was flipping through a magazine while the witness gathered her things.

That's when she came across the article.

When she read this testimonial from a woman who claimed that her boyfriend frequently gave her four orgasms in a row, she just had to laugh! C'mon, there is no way that's possible. And so that's what she told Sam when he asked what was so funny.

" _What? You don't think it can happen?" He questioned with a smirk playing on his lips._

" _Four? No way," she assured him._

" _Wanna bet?" He suggested while he wiggled his eyebrows at her, his smirk turning into a full-fledged grin._

 _She rolled her eyes at him, but she couldn't help a small smile from escaping her lips._

" _What do I get if you lose?" She inquired._

" _Well, it doesn't really matter considering I won't lose," he told her matter-of-factly._

" _Well, someone is very sure of himself," she grinned._

 _He let out a chuckle. "Fine, if I lose then I will cook you dinner tonight," he informed her. "But if I win, then you have to cook me dinner tonight."_

" _Deal," she agreed, while holding out her hand so they could shake on it._

" _This is going to be fun, McNally," he guaranteed._

So, now she is in Sam's truck and they're on their way to his place. She's not sure why, but she's a little bit nervous all of a sudden. She's been fidgeting and anxiously drumming her fingers on her knee the entire ride home.

"Afraid you're gonna lose our little bet?" He grins.

"No," she informs him with a dramatic roll of her eyes.

"I don't know why you would be. You kind of win either way," he reminds her.

"Oh because dinner with you is a win?" She asks, cheekily.

"Um. Yes, actually it is," he says with a nod and a knowing smile.

She lets out a laugh as they pull up to his house. She hops out of the car and waits while he unlocks his front door. The second the door is closed, she's pushed up against it and he's kissing her. Whatever nerves she was feeling in the car have suddenly disappeared and all she is thinking about is his lips on hers. She wraps her arms around his neck and runs her fingers through his hair. He doesn't waste much time and immediately begins unbuttoning her jeans, while she helps him out by toeing off her sneakers.

He turns his attention to her neck as he gently sucks on her pulse point. He makes his way up her throat and begins to nibble on her ear, loving the noise she makes when he does it. After a couple minutes, he assists her with wiggling out of her skinny jeans before throwing them somewhere to the side. He runs his hands down to her ass before giving it a quick squeeze.

One hand wanders down her thigh before lifting it and holding it against his hip. That's when he slips his other hand in between her legs and slowly swipes his finger along the damp fabric.

She lets out a gasp when he pushes her underwear aside and runs his finger up and down her warm center a few times. When Andy starts to whimper, he slips a finger inside while his thumb teases her clit. She closes her eyes and throws her head back so it bangs against the door. When he slips the second finger in and begins nibbling on her ear again, she can't stop the appreciative noises from coming out of her mouth. He continues pumping his fingers and when she's gasping for air, he adds some more pressure to her clit and pushes her right over the edge.

He eventually drops her leg and gives her a moment to catch her breath before grabbing her hand and silently leading her to his kitchen. When he gets to the kitchen table, he pulls her towards him, cups her face and gives her a sensual kiss. After a minute of his hands getting lost in her hair and his tongue caressing hers, he helps her up on the table. He continues kissing her for a little longer, relishing the quiet whimpers coming from her mouth as his hands slip under her shirt. When he eventually pulls away, he catches the pout she's throwing at him and chuckles a bit. He grabs her hand and interlocks their fingers, while giving her a quick smile.

"Lie down," he instructs her.

She leans in and gives him a chaste kiss before doing as he says while their fingers remain intertwined. He uses his free hand to pull her underwear down her legs before tossing them over his shoulder. Then, he gets down on his knees and again uses the hand that isn't occupied with hers to pull her towards the edge of the table and throw one of her legs over his shoulder. She follows his lead and places her other leg over his other shoulder.

He decides to tease her a bit by kissing, nipping and sucking his way up her thighs. She squeezes his hand in anticipation and he is soothingly running his thumb in circles on the back of her palm.

" _Sam_ ," she whines.

He lets out a chuckle and decides to put her out of her misery. He swipes his tongue from bottom to top until he lands on her clit. He swirls his tongue around the sensitive skin before blowing some cold air on it, causing her to arch her back and let out the most beautiful sound he's ever heard.

He continues using his tongue to play with her clit before he takes it in his mouth and sucks.

"Oh… Oh God…" she moans as she squeezes his hand.

That's when he shoves his tongue deep inside her and begins to hit every single spot she likes him to touch. With every new angle he hits, she gets louder and squeezes his hand tighter. When he gives her hand a gentle squeeze and begins to hum, it's all too much and moments later, she's done for.

He continues swirling his tongue inside her, allowing her to ride out her orgasm. When he knows it's over, he stands up and uses their interlocked fingers to pull her up.

Her legs feel like jelly and once she's sitting up, she immediately rests her forehead against his chest for a moment, trying to collect herself and prepare for what she can only assume is coming next. He waits a moment for her breathing to regulate before he tugs her off the table and leads her to his bedroom.

When they're finally standing beside his bed, he places some chaste kisses along the base of her neck before lifting his shirt over his head. He cups her face and waits until she meets his eyes. He smiles at her and pushes the hair out of her eyes. She wraps her arms around him and pulls him in for a kiss.

They're only kissing for a moment before her hands wander down his abs and land on his belt. She quickly unbuckles it and works on getting his jeans off. When she pushes them down his legs, he steps out of them and kicks them to the side. Her hand immediately lands on his cock, which has probably been hard for a while judging from the way he groaned at her touch.

Sam's hands start to explore the skin under her shirt before he lifts it up over her head and tosses it aside. That's when he picks her up and gently places her on the bed before he crawls in between her legs. Her fingers immediately get lost in his hair as he places his other hand on her waist. He glances up at her for a second before he begins placing several kisses on the top of her breasts. She arcs her back, allowing him to slip a hand behind her and unhook her bra. He pushes the straps down her shoulders and throws the bra on the ground.

Once his access is unobstructed, his lips and tongue are focused on her right breast while his hand is massaging the left.

"Sam," she whispers as his tongue runs circles around her nipple. That's when he decides to switch off, cupping her right breast with his hand and using his mouth on the left.

" _Sam_ ," she groans, as she opens her legs a little wider.

"Hm?" He says with a cocky smile, causing her to roll her eyes. She pulls his head towards her and kisses him hard, telling him exactly where she wants this to go.

He crawls further up her body, allowing the head of his cock to press up against her opening. She wraps her legs around him and pulls him closer. He takes the hint and quickly thrusts inside her, earning a loud gasp from the woman lying beneath him. Then, he pulls almost all the way out and does it again. And again. And again. And again. And again.

When he's got her moaning and panting and gasping for air, he starts to circle his hips, allowing him to reach every angle possible.

"Sam… Oh God… _Sam_ ," she moans. That's when he reaches down and rubs her clit with his thumb and yeah, after that- she's completely gone. For the third time.

"Jesus," she gasps after orgasm number three. He's still inside her, but he's stopped moving, trying to give her a moment before he starts up again.

He smiles and leans down to give her a kiss. She wraps her hand around the back of his neck to keep him there and deepen the kiss, while the other hand runs up and down his muscular back.

Eventually, he pulls away to look at her. He gives her a reassuring smile before leaning in for a chaste kiss. Then, he moves his attention to her neck, which he knows is exactly how to get her going again. He nips the skin up and down her throat before running his tongue along the edge of her ear. When he blows out a breath and takes her earlobe in between his teeth, she starts rocking her hips and he knows he's got her.

He starts off slowly, just rocking his hips at the same pace as she rocks hers, but when those beautiful noises start leaving her mouth again, he picks up the pace.

"God Sam, what are you doing to me?" She whimpers as she throws her head back in absolute pleasure. She was completely certain after number three that there was no way he could do it again, but now… God, she is definitely going to lose this bet.

He lets out a chuckle and whispers in her ear. "You know I hate to lose."

He places several kisses down her throat before moving back to get on his knees and throwing one leg over each of his shoulders for the second time that night.

"Oh… Oh _fuck_ ," she moans, before closing her eyes and biting down on her bottom lip. This new position has pushed him so much deeper and it feels… unbelievable. He holds onto her hips as he pushes his way in and out of her. When she takes her feet and places them flat on the front of his shoulders, she gets even tighter and they both let out a groan.

"Christ, Andy," he growls as he continues to thrust inside of her.

"Sam," she gasps. "God, you feel _so_ fucking good," she sobs.

It only takes a few more thrusts before she is fluttering all around him and moaning his name, which is more than enough to bring him over the edge with her.

When he collapses on top of her, they are both still trying to catch their breath.

"Holy shit," is all she can say once her heartrate is almost halfway to normal.

He pulls away to look at her and has got an incredibly cocky grin on his face. "I told you I wouldn't lose," he reminds her.

She rolls her eyes, but she can't help but laugh. "Yeah, you won fair and square," she admits.

"You know… I could keep going," he says with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

"God, I think you might kill me," she informs him, causing him to let out a chuckle.

He gives her a kiss and lingers for a second longer than normal before rolling off of her.

"So, what are you making for dinner tonight, McNally?" He asks with a cheeky grin.

She laughs. "I don't know how you expect me to have the energy to cook dinner after that," she tells him. "I might need a nap first."

He laughs and leans in for another kiss. "How about we take a raincheck on cooking dinner and just order a pizza instead?" He asks, when he pulls away.

God, sometimes she thinks he might be perfect.

"Green pepper and pepperoni?" She asks with a hopeful smile.

"Of course," he agrees, knowing those are her favorite toppings.

"Sounds perfect," she says with a grin.

===============Secrets============

They've been cruising the streets for just under two hours and she's barely said three words. For a moment, he wonders if she's pissed at him for something. Ever since they've started doing… whatever it is they're doing, they've pretty much been having non-stop sex. That is, until a couple nights ago. They'd been working opposite shifts for the past two days and now he's wondering if she's pissed that he didn't try harder to see her. But it's not like she called him either… She couldn't seriously be mad, right? Although, now he is starting to wonder…

When she bangs her head against the headrest and closes her eyes, he decides he has to ask.

"Everything okay there, McNally?" He asks, sneaking a glance at her.

"Ugh yes, I'm fine," she tells him. Yeah, he's not even close to convinced.

"Seriously, what's up? You hungover?" He probes.

"No! I'm not hungover Sam!" She argues.

"So what's wrong?" He asks. When she sees the genuine concern in his eyes, she lets out a sigh and feels guilty for snapping at him.

"I just… I have cramps and my neck is killing me and I have a horrible headache," she explains.

"Oh… Is it the 13th?" He muses.

Her jaws drops and she spins to look at him, completely floored.

"What?" He questions.

"What so you're… keeping track?" She asks as her eyebrows are practically hitting the ceiling.

He laughs. "Not on purpose. I just… noticed… We spend pretty much every day together, McNally. I'm pretty observant," he reminds her.

"I have no idea what to say to that," she laughs.

"Do you want to stop at the pharmacy and get some medicine?" He inquires.

"No, I already took some this morning," she tells him.

"Okay," he says as he pulls the car over.

"What are you doing?" She asks.

"While we're waiting for a call, I figured I could massage your neck… Make you feel better," he offers and she swears he _almost_ looks shy.

"A massage," she repeats, as if the word is completely foreign to her.

"Yes, McNally. A massage. You up for it?" He teases, obviously getting his confidence back.

"Well, if you insist," she smiles.

He rolls his eyes and reaches over to start massaging the back of her neck with his fingers. She closes her eyes and touches her chin to her chest, allowing him more access. She lets out a breathy sigh as he continues rubbing circles on her neck.

"Wow, you're actually really good at this," she observes.

He chuckles. "I'm a little insulted that you're so surprised. You know I'm good with my hands," he flirts.

"Wow. Someone's got quite the ego," she teases as she sneaks a quick glance at him.

"Are you saying I'm _not_ good with my hands, McNally?" He asks with mock offense.

She glances up at him with a smile. "You're _very_ good with your hands," she assures him.

"That's what I thought," he grins.

He continues to work out every knot in her neck for the next ten minutes, before they eventually get a call from dispatch.

"Hey, can I ask you a favor?" She asks, as Sam starts driving.

"I just gave you a massage and now you're asking me for a favor?" He laughs.

She lets out a laugh as well. "You can say no if you want. I won't be mad, I swear," she promises.

"What is it?"

"Can I stay at your place tonight? I uh… Tracey is staying with Jerry and I don't know, I just feel kind of awkward staying at her place when she's not there, so I was thinking maybe I could stay with you? But like I said, you can seriously say no. I can stay with my Dad," she tells him, well aware that she's babbling like an idiot.

"Why would I say no to that? You stayed at my place a few nights ago," He points out.

"Yeah, but that was… after sex," she reminds him.

He glances at her with a smirk. "What do you think there's a price to get in the door or something?" He teases.

"Oh… well, I don't know… I just didn't want you to feel like you had to say yes. I really can just stay with my Dad. Yeah, I should probably just stay with him," she decides.

"Andy, c'mon. You're staying with me," he informs her.

"You sure?" She asks, like she's actually surprised that he's okay with this.

He rolls his eyes. "Yes. You're staying at my place."

"Okay… well, thanks," she smiles.

"Plus, you still owe me that dinner," he reminds her with a quick wiggle of his eyebrows.

"Right. Yeah, I'll cook tonight," she agrees.

He almost wants to laugh at the situation. Last year she freaked out when she accidentally fell asleep at his place after sex and now she's asking to stay over even when sex is off the table. He can't help but wonder if there really are different rules this time. If only he had the balls to ask her.

===============Secrets============

"Well, McNally, I'm pleasantly surprised," he says with a grin as he puts down his fork. Truth be told, he's much more than pleasantly surprised. He's downright shocked at the effort she put into this dinner. She even forced him to stop at the grocery store on the way home so she could buy ingredients. He pretty much expected her to just whip up something random with whatever he had lying around the house. But no, she wanted steaks, green beans, sweet potatoes, garlic, and fresh herbs, plus she even bought a mini cheesecake for dessert. Most surprising was the bottle of wine she bought. Much more expensive than she should be buying, but he appreciated the thought.

"I told you I could cook," she says with a pleased look on her face.

"And you were not wrong," he grins.

After cleaning up, they both decide to change into more comfortable clothing with him wearing a dark red t-shirt and black sweatpants and her wearing a dark blue camisole and grey sweatpants. They eventually migrate to the couch and are sitting much closer than they need to, but not close enough to touch.

"So, do I get a meal like that every time I give you four orgasms?" He grins.

"Well, I think that would only be fair," she flirts.

They smile at each other for a few moments when he suddenly notices her wince in pain.

"You okay?" He asks.

"Yeah… just cramps… They suck," she says, running her hand over her stomach. "Do you have a heating pad?" She wonders.

"Uh… No. You wanna go run to the store and pick one up? I'll drive," he offers.

"No, no I'll be fine," she says.

"Andy, I don't mind," he assures her.

"It's fine. I just took some Midol. I just gotta wait for it to kick in," she shrugs.

"Okay…"

They both turn their attention back to the television, watching a rerun of Two and a Half Men, but moments later, Andy is tightly hugging her stomach again.

"Okay, you have to distract me!" She informs him.

"Okay, how do I do that?" He asks, turning towards her on the couch.

"Uh… I don't know… Wanna make out?" She suggests with a flirty smile.

He's definitely taken back by the suggestion and he waits a minute to see if she's kidding. Nope, she's serious. "Um… Okay…"

They're sitting perpendicular to each other, so when she pushes him to lie down, it takes a second of awkward shuffling until he is lying with his back on the couch and she is lying on top of him. She smiles as she lowers her lips towards his and starts to kiss him. His fingers immediately get tangled in her hair as she coaxes his mouth open with her tongue. After a couple minutes, his hand sneaks up the back of her shirt and she lets out a quiet moan as his warmth starts to soothe the pain she's been feeling. He unhooks her bra to get it out of the way and then continues to run his hand up and down her back, adding a bit of pressure, which only makes her feel even better.

She's cupping his face and deepening the kiss as he moves his hands up to her neck and begins rubbing out the knots, just as he did in the cruiser.

"Mmm…" she moans at his touch. Once he's eventually rid her neck of all its knots, his fingers graze down her spine, causing goosebumps to travel up her body. His hands land on her ass and he gives it a gentle squeeze as her hands slip under his shirt. Moments later, she's lifting it over his head before discarding her own shirt and bra and throwing them on the floor next to his. The action surprises him a bit, but he quickly recovers and begins running his thumbs along the underside of her breasts. Moments later, when their eyes connect, she almost shivers at the look he's giving her. She immediately leans down and presses her lips against his as he pulls her flush against him. He loves the feel of her skin on his and her breasts rubbing against his chest. Can't get enough of it, really.

His fingers start drawing lazy patterns on her back as his tongue slowly caresses hers. His other hand is tangled in her hair, gently tugging on it and eliciting quiet moans from deep within her. He's really trying, but those noises she's making and the way her nipples are grazing his chest, he can't help but get hard.

He can feel her smiling against his lips when it happens. That's when her hands start to slowly make their way down his chest. She cups him through his sweatpants and he can't help but groan. She lets out a proud giggle before quickly sliding her hand under the waistband of his pants.

"Andy- seriously, you don't have to…" he assures her as he pushes her away just enough to look her in the eye.

"I want to," she says with a smile and a shrug. She hops off the couch and kneels in front of him as she pulls at his arm so he'll sit up. "And then afterwards, you're giving me a _real_ massage. Deal?" She says with a bat of her eyelashes as she settles in between his legs.

"Sure," he says with a nod. He's pretty sure he'd agree to just about anything right now.

"Perfect," she says as she pulls his pants down just a bit and frees him from his boxers before she begins stroking him while sucking on just the tip.

"McNally…" he growls as his eyelids get heavy. She smiles and takes him completely in her mouth, causing him to let out a loud groan.

By now, she knows exactly what he likes. Her mouth and hand working together. Her tongue swirling around him. Lots of noises and even more eye contact. Yep, she knows exactly what to do. So, it's no surprise when exactly eight and a half minutes later, she's pushed him right over the edge.

Once it's over, she slowly runs her tongue around him one last time, causing him to twitch in her mouth.

"Jesus," he grunts after she's released him. She shoots him a smile and hops up off her knees.

"So… How about that massage?" She grins as she holds her hand out to help him up. He lets out a laugh and takes her hand. When he stands up, he straightens himself out and pulls up his pants.

"Deals a deal," he agrees.

"Got any massage oil?" She wonders aloud.

"I don't think so," he says as he watches her head into his kitchen and start looking through the cabinets.

"This will work," she tells him, holding up the coconut oil. She places a rather large spoonful into a dish and puts it in the microwave. When it's the perfect temperature, she takes it out and gestures for him to follow her to his bedroom.

Once they're in his room, she hands him the bowl of coconut oil and lies face down on his bed. She rests her head on her folded arms as he straddles her back. He dips his fingers in the oil and starts to rub it into her skin.

"Mmm…" she says, enjoying the heat from the oil and the pressure from his hands.

"Feel good?" He asks, as he starts to knead her muscles with both hands.

"Mhm," she nods.

For the next twenty minutes, he works his way from her lower back all the way up to her shoulders, severely enjoying every single ' _ooh'_ and ' _ah'_ he gets from her. He's almost sure that she's fallen asleep when the sound of her phone ringing causes them both to jump.

"Who is it?" She groans unhappily. He grabs her phone off his nightstand and peeks at the caller I.D.

"Callahan," he replies, trying not to let his disgust show.

"Ugh. Ignore it," she instructs him with a wave of her hand.

He wants to say something… wants to ask questions, but he's not quite sure if it's a good idea or what he would even say. Luckily, she saves him from the thought and starts talking on her own.

"I can't believe he's _still_ calling me. I swear, he's called me more in the last few weeks than he did the entire time we were together," she says.

"Have you talked to him at all?" He questions, still rubbing the coconut oil into her skin.

"No... Why, do you think I should?" She inquires.

"No. Not if you don't want to," he responds.

"I don't want to," she informs him.

"Okay."

The room is quiet again and he continues working on the knots in her back until she decides to speak up again.

"Have you ever cheated on anyone?" She asks softly. The question definitely takes him by surprise. He briefly wonders why she's asking. Is it just curiosity? Is she hoping that he has and then maybe he could provide some insight on why a man would do such a thing? Or does she want to make sure he's not a cheater before she considers starting something real with him?

"No," he replies. And it's the absolute truth. He never has. Never would.

She nods. "Ever been cheated on?"

"Once."

"Really?" She asks with more than a hint of surprise. She flips herself around so she's facing him now and he wonders if he should move off of her, but the look on her face makes him feel like he doesn't have to.

"Yeah, when I was in high school. I was dating this girl for a few months and she ended up getting drunk at this party and hooking up with some random guy," he shrugs. "It sucked, but it wasn't anything serious… Her and I," he explains.

"Yeah… Well, still, she's an idiot," she tells him.

He nods. "Yeah and so is Callahan… I'm sure that's why he's calling you so much. He's obviously realized what a big mistake he's made," Sam tells her.

She nods this time. "I know, but… Even if I could forgive him for cheating, I wouldn't want to get back together. It was never going to work, him and I… Well, maybe it would have _worked_ … sort of… but I don't know. I think I was just settling when I agreed to marry him, you know? When he asked me, I just thought… Wow, he wants to marry me. He wants to be with me forever… And I don't know, I just thought that was nice… That I had that, you know?" She asks and waits for him to nod in understanding before she continues.

"Even when I was having doubts about us, that's what I kept thinking about… That I was lucky to have someone who wanted to be with me forever and would never leave…. I guess I still have abandonment issues from when my mother left," she explains with more than a hint of embarrassment.

He pushes the hair out of her eyes as he thinks about what he wants to say. There's a lot he wants to stay, actually, but he's pretty sure she's not ready to hear most of it.

"Andy… You are amazing, okay? I seriously believe that... Your mom and… and Callahan. They're both idiots and it's their loss… Not having you in their lives. It's their loss, trust me," he assures her while his thumb runs along her jaw.

She smiles at him and he figures he must have said something right. She tugs at his arm, pulling him towards her. When he's within reach, she wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him in for a kiss.

"Thank you," she whispers when they pull away.

"You're welcome," he says with a smile.

"Okay, now back to that massage!" She orders.

He lets out a chuckle and gestures for her to turn around.

"Yes ma'am."

===============Secrets============

Next chapter will be before and during the quarantine episode.

Please review! They give me life!


	11. Distress

This picks up right before the quarantine episode. Enjoy!

===============Secrets============

"Andy!" She freezes for a brief moment at the sound of his voice, but then she picks up the pace and practically runs down the hallway. She's been doing her best to avoid him, or at least make sure they were never alone together. But here- now, there is no one else around and she's _got_ to get out of there.

"Andy! Wait up!" He calls after her. She doesn't turn around, she just keeps moving. She's steps away from the door when she feels his hand is on her shoulder, pulling her to a halt. She sighs and finally stops to look at him.

" _What_?" She growls. She has no interest in being polite right now.

"I… I want to talk," he says, nervously.

"Luke, we're at work. Not the best time for this," she points out.

"Yeah, well you haven't answered any of my calls," he reminds her.

"And obviously you're having a hard time taking the hint," she snarls. Yeah, she definitely has no interest in being polite.

"Andy… C'mon… Please. I'll do whatever it takes to make this up to you," he promises.

"Luke, I don't care _what_ you do, you will never be able to _make_ it up to me," she guarantees.

"Andy, please… We were really good together. We were happy," he implores.

"No. No, we weren't. At least, _I_ wasn't. Not really. I had just become really good at pretending," she tells him.

He is taken back by her words, but only for a second, assuming that she's just saying them to hurt him. "You don't mean that," he says. And the way he looks so _sure_ of that fact is just pissing her off. What the hell does he know?

"Yes I do," she declares, willing him to believe her words.

He just stares at her for a moment. He's searching her eyes as if he's trying to decipher whether she actually means what she's saying. She lets out a heavy sigh and decides to explain.

"Look, Luke… As much as it hurt me, what you did… It was the best thing that ever happened to me because it saved me from making a big mistake… I never should have said yes when you asked me to marry you. I wasn't _unhappy_ , but I wasn't happy, either. At least, not enough… Not enough to marry you… So _please_ , just forget about us," she pleads.

She waits a few beats for him to respond, but he doesn't say a thing. He just stares.

"See you around," she says with a shrug, before turning and heading back towards the door.

"Is this about Swarek?!" He calls after her.

She stops and turns back to look at him. She's clenching her fists now. Why can't he just leave her alone?

She takes a few steps towards him, glaring at him the entire way. "What?" She asks in between gritted teeth.

"He's given you a ride to work _every_ day this week," Luke observes.

"That's what _friends_ do when it's raining outside and they know I don't have a car!" she spits out.

Luke rolls his eyes. "Yeah, well he's been in a pretty good mood lately… Have you been sleeping with your _friend,_ Andy?" He asks her.

She narrows her eyes and shakes her head in disbelief that he would actually ask her that. Sure, it was true, she _was_ sleeping with Sam, but he lost the right to ask her things like that after he slept with Jo.

"Yeah, well I guess _you_ would know a lot about sleeping with people you claim are just friends, wouldn't you?" She barks.

That's when his expression changes and she sees a bit of guilt flash over him. "Andy… I'm sorry… I shouldn't…" he mumbles, as he runs his hand through his hair.

"Bye Luke," she says before stomping away.

She pushes the door open and finds Sam waiting for her in the parking lot, leaning against the cruiser with a smile on his face. When she gets closer, his expression changes as he sees the sour look on her face.

"You okay?" He asks. He's not sure what's gotten into her. She was fine this morning and now she's… definitely not okay.

"Fine," she growls. "Let's go."

Sam shrugs and gets into the driver seat. He figures she'll want to talk about it eventually. He just needs to wait it out.

Surprisingly though, she is dead silent. Doesn't say a fucking word for almost two hours. It's really freaking him out, actually. He can't remember her ever going _this_ long without talking.

"Andy, seriously… Is everything okay?" He asks, sneaking a glance over at her.

She lets out a big sigh. " _Yes_ ," she exclaims. She crosses her arms over her chest, fully intending to stay angry, but then she spots the look of concern on Sam's face and she starts to soften. "It's just Luke… He cornered me in the hallway this morning," she explains.

"Oh?" He responds, waiting for her to continue.

"He thinks if he apologizes enough, I'll just forget everything he did," she clarifies.

"Ah," Sam comments.

"When I told him that he should just forget about us, he asked me if I was sleeping with you," she admits.

This takes Sam by surprise. Sure, Oliver has been hinting about something going on between him and McNally ever since he spotted her getting out of his truck for the third day in a row, but he's pretty sure Oliver is just trying to give him a hard time. He doubts he actually suspects anything is happening, at least not _now_. Still, he shouldn't really be that surprised that Luke would jump to that conclusion. He knows that his existence has been a soft spot for Luke ever since the blackout.

"Can you believe he asked me that?" Andy questions, pulling Sam from his thoughts. "He cheats on me with Jo and then acts like I'm doing something wrong. I can sleep with whoever I want!" She exclaims.

"So… you told him we were sleeping together?" Sam asks, hesitantly. It's not that he'd be angry if Callahan knew exactly what he was doing to his ex-fiancée, but it would definitely complicate things. Plus, he's not really looking forward to the inevitable confrontation between him and the homicide detective.

"No, of course not. I made him feel guilty for even asking," she says with a proud smile.

He lets out a laugh, happy that she finally seems to be in a slightly better mood.

Although, her good mood doesn't last very long. After getting a call that a man covered in blue ink is at a nearby grocery store, they run into two teenagers making out and the scowl immediately returns to her face. In fact, she practically barks at them to get out of her way. And while he's not thrilled that her foul mood seems to be back, he can't help but be _a little_ amused.

===============Secrets===========

Today is not her day. No matter how hard she tries, she cannot get away from Luke. You'd think a freaking quarantine would protect her from the detective, but no, of course not. Why did Oliver have to suggest that she call him?

She knew he had been drinking the moment he answered the phone. She _almost_ felt guilty that it was probably their confrontation that led him to get drunk tonight. Almost. And of course he has to tell her that he misses her. Ugh.

And now she has no distractions. The case is at a standstill until she hears from Luke or Dov, so she's got nothing to distract her from the fact that her fiancé cheated on her and oh yeah, that she might possibly be dying of some horrible disease at this very moment.

That's when she concludes that when you might possibly be dying at this very moment, the no sex at work rule is just meant to be broken.

"I should probably go check on Gail," Andy suggests before ducking out of the Detective's office. Once she's turned the corner, she takes out her cell phone and sends him a quick text.

 _Observation Two. Now._

When he reads the text, he tries to school his features so the guys don't suspect anything as he tries to figure out how he's going to get out of this poker game.

"Who is it?" Oliver asks as he glances up from his cards.

"Oh… uh… it's Sarah. I should call her," he says, flipping his cards over and getting out of his chair. The guys seem to buy his excuse, so he rushes out before they can say anything else.

"Hey," he says when he meets her in Observation Two.

"Hey," she says, quickly locking the door behind him. He can't stop the grin from forming as he watches her quickly unbutton her top.

"What happened to no sex at work?" He asks with his signature smirk.

"Well, we could be dying, remember? This could be the last time we get to have sex!" She exclaims.

"Hmm… Then I guess we better make it good," he tells her as he grabs her waist and pulls her towards him, just a moment after she unhooks the last button.

"I agree," she says with a smile as she quickly unbuttons the shirt of his uniform.

"How much time do you think we have?" He murmurs against her neck.

"Not enough," she sighs as she unbuckles his belt while toeing of her shoes. "Gotta be quick," she warns.

He lets out a chuckle and works on her belt. He quickly unbuttons and unzips her pants and slips his hand inside her panties.

She gasps at his touch and bucks her hips while his finger explores her a bit. He nibbles on her ear and blows a warm breath on it, causing a shiver to go down her spine.

She starts to get impatient and takes it upon herself to slip off her pants. She kicks them to the side and turns her attention to removing his pants. She pushes them down his legs, exposing his boxers and his hardening cock. She immediately cups him, earning some appreciative noises.

She wiggles out of her underwear and pushes his boxers down his legs. She strokes him for a moment before he lifts her up and plants her against the wall. She wraps her legs around him and he's inside her within seconds.

Typically, he likes to start out slow, but it's not like they really have a lot of time. So, he's starting off fast and it takes her by surprise, but yeah, she _really_ doesn't hate it.

"Sam," she gasps as he starts to go even faster. "God… Sam…" she says, trying to be quiet, but she can't stop herself. It feels too good to be silent.

She presses her lips against his, hoping that will muffle the inevitable sounds that are likely to escape. Their tongues dance and she tightens her grip with her legs while he continues thrusting inside her.

Minutes later, she is gasping and fluttering around him while he is spilling inside her. He slows down his movements, allowing them both to ride the waves of their orgasms. Eventually, he stills himself and gazes at her for a second before leaning in for a kiss. She tightens her grip on his neck, keeping him there for an extra moment. Eventually, he pulls away and slowly places her on the ground, before he pulls his boxers and pants up.

"Well, if we die today, at least we were able to get in a quickie," she smirks while she searches for her clothes.

"We are _not_ dying today," he assures her, while buttoning up his uniform.

===============Secrets===========

She can't remember the last time she laughed like this. And she isn't sure she's ever seen _him_ laugh like this either. And yeah, it's nice. Really nice.

It's still amazing to her that he always seems to know exactly what she needs, even when she doesn't. She's used to the fact that he constantly knows what she needs during sex, but she's just now starting to realize how well he actually knows her outside of the bedroom. He'd been telling her that she needed to hit something and she thought it was silly, but this… it feels great.

That's when she decides that she should probably thank him.

To be honest, she was expecting sex when she came in here. The way he was unbuttoning his shirt and telling her, " _I have something you need to do right now.'_ What was she supposed to think? Yes, the boxing session was exactly what she needed, but now she _really_ needs something else.

So, she swipes his legs and gets him lying flat on his back. She's got a smug look on her face as she straddles him.

"Oooh, how does it feel to get beaten up by a girl?" She gloats as she removes her gloves.

"You think you won?" He asks with a grin, as he removes his own gloves and tosses them aside.

"Yeah I do," she confirms. "I believe this is the _second_ time I've tackled you," she reminds him.

"And tried to kiss me?" He asks hopefully, with a quirk of his eyebrow.

She lets out a laugh before leaning in to give him a kiss. He immediately takes his gloves off before wrapping his hand around the back of her neck to hold her there for a second, but to his surprise, she doesn't even try to pull away.

They continue making out on the mat and when she starts to whimper in his mouth, he flips them over so he's on top of her.

He pins her hands above her head and shoots her a smirk, like he's won whatever non-existent contest they're participating in. She starts to pout. "You don't play fair. You cheated… distracted me," she whines, causing him to flash his dimples at her.

He laughs and leans down into another kiss. He finally releases her wrists when she allows his tongue to slip inside her mouth. Her hands immediately start searching for his belt before she starts to unbuckle it.

Her actions surprise him and he pulls away to meet her eyes. "You serious?" He asks. They know they aren't dying, so what's her excuse this time? Not that he needs an excuse to have sex with her at work, but he thought she did. At least, she used to.

She seems to read his thoughts. "We're celebrating," she shrugs as the smile plays on her lips.

"Oh yeah?" He beams.

"Mhm," she nods. "Go lock the door," she instructs.

He leans in and gives her another kiss before hoping off of her and quickly locking the door.

"And take off your pants," she tells him, as she removes her.

He laughs and slips his pants off before returning to the mat, where she is still lying. He gets on his knees and crawls back on top of her before leaning in for a kiss.

As they make out, he grins his hips into her, causing them both to make a few noises. When he starts sucking on her neck, his hands begin to wander until they reach the band of her underwear. He slips his hand inside and teases her a bit, running his finger along her edges. She starts involuntarily circling her hips, trying to get him exactly where she wants him to go. When she starts to whimper against him, he finally gives in and starts to run his finger in circles along her sensitive skin. She groans and bucks her hips, hoping to get more pressure, but he quickly removes his hand altogether. He can feel her frowning against his lips, which only makes him smile.

He quickly gets on his knees and slides her underwear does her beautiful, long legs. He takes a moment to just look at her, but she's getting impatient. She reaches for his boxers and quickly pulls them down to his knees before grabbing his hand and pulling him down on top of her again. He lets out a laugh as she eagerly grabs his erection and guides it towards her.

As he pushes inside, he watches her the whole time. It's one of his favorite things to do when they have sex- watching her reaction. She's already beyond sexy, but when she's like this… it's honestly too much.

This time, he starts off slow. It's not like they have tons of time, but the station is practically empty, so they have more time than they did a few hours ago.

He gradually makes his way in and out of her, angling his hips so he hits her in different spots. And yeah, she seems to be enjoying herself. A lot.

She's digging her teeth into her lip so hard that it's white. She's desperately trying to keep quiet, but God, what he's doing to her… it just feels unbelievable.

" _Sam_ ," she whimpers. They've never done it like this before. Usually, he'd be going faster by now, but he's still at that same slow pace. And she wouldn't think she'd like it like this, but she actually _really_ likes it. It's definitely different, but she's not complaining. Like, at all.

He's teasing her. He's building everything up inside her. He's just doing everything so slowly. Caressing his tongue with hers, kissing her neck, grazing his fingers all over her body. It's all slow, calculated, gentle. They've definitely never done it like this before.

She doesn't think she's ever been this turned on. Actually, she knows she hasn't.

That's when he shifts his arms so they are under her airborne thighs, allowing him to lift them slightly. The sensation when he does soars through her body and she lets out a gasp, much louder than she intends. He's just much deeper now, and he's hitting her in the absolute perfect spot and she can't even begin to stop the noises coming from her mouth.

"Holy shit," she gasps in between moans. When he starts blowing warm breaths in her ear as he nibbles her lobe, she just can't contain herself. Her toes are curled, her fingers are digging into his back and she's biting down on her lip as hard as she ever has before.

He starts to speed up, but just barely. He's still going impossibly slow, yet the feeling is honestly blowing her mind right now.

"God, _Sam_ … That… You… God, you feel _so_ good," she tells him, once she's actually able to complete a sentence. When she starts to circle her hips a bit, he's suddenly hitting her _everywhere_ and she knows she won't be able to hold on much longer.

"Oh… Oh God," she moans. She's digging her fingers into him so hard, she can't even feel them anymore. "Sam," she sobs as she waits for the impending orgasm with her eyes closed.

"Look at me," he whispers. She does as he says and opens her eyes to meet his gaze. She has no idea what it is, but the look in his eyes sends her immediately over the edge.

She's gasping, panting and moaning while she flutters all around him, pushing him right over the edge with her.

It's the longest, most intense orgasm she's ever had. And when she's finally able to catch her breath, she is rendered completely speechless. What are you supposed to say after something like that?

She can't help but wonder how sex with Sam continues to get better. It's already, by far, the best sex of her life, and yet it's somehow still getting better. It should be impossible, but yet, somehow it isn't.

"You okay?" He asks as his fingers graze her side. When she looks up at him, he actually looks a bit concerned.

She lets out a small laugh. "More than okay," she assures him. "That was… I don't even know…" she says, shaking her head in amazement.

He chuckles. "Well, you did say we were celebrating," he reminds her.

"That was _some_ celebration," she declares.

He lets out a laugh and leans in for a quick kiss. "Ready for breakfast?" He asks.

"I thought you couldn't?" She tells him.

"I had something I had to do first. Now I've done it," he grins.

"And what was that? Forcing me to beat you up?" She smirks.

He chuckles. "Just wanted to make you feel better," he shrugs.

Her smile reaches her eyes before she pulls him in for another kiss.

"You always do."

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Hope you guys liked this chapter!

Please review! I love to hear about what you liked and even what you didn't. It makes me a better writer.


	12. Hope

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Sometimes he wonders if they're dating.

To an outsider looking in, it would definitely seem that way. Sure, he's never actually taken her out on a real date, but still- a lot has changed.

For as much as she didn't want to sleep over before, she's been falling asleep in his arms kind of regularly. And she's been kissing him goodbye recently, which is something she never did before. She's actually been doing a lot of the whole kissing him for no reason thing. He wonders if she even notices, but he's definitely not planning on pointing it out because he really doesn't want it to stop.

And then there was the whole thing with the orange juice. She had been whining that he didn't have orange juice at his place, so when she noticed that he had stocked his fridge with her favorite brand, she got this amazing grin on her face and kissed him, hard. Then, she pushed his boxers down his legs, got on her knees and took his entire cock in her mouth. He's not sure why the fact that he bought her favorite orange juice would result in such a reaction, but after that, he made sure he _always_ had it in his fridge.

Actually, there have been a couple incidents like that recently.

There was that episode at the Penny just last week. This random woman had been chatting him up for all of thirty seconds before Andy came over with claims that they needed to discuss a case. When they got outside and he asked her what she wanted to talk about, she chuckled, rolled her eyes, grabbed his hand, pulled him in the back seat of the truck and fucked him right then and there. Lucky for them, he has tinted windows in the back.

Oh and then there was the time she overheard Jerry trying to set him up with some detective he knows from 27th Division. He politely declined and was halfway through his shower at the station when she hopped right in and broke the no sex at work rule once again.

And then just last week, he showed up at her place and she answered the door in nothing but this insanely sexy lingerie. He was already speechless, but then she sort of implied that she specifically bought it because she knew he'd like it, and yeah, he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to speak again. She had never gotten dressed up for him before- not like that. It meant something, right? Buying lingerie and strutting around your apartment in it is something you would only do for a guy you're dating, not just some guy you've been screwing, right?

Oh and she's been keeping a toothbrush at his place. It's only a plastic one you get from the dentist, so it's possible he's reading too much into it, but ever since she asked if he had a spare toothbrush a few weeks ago, she's been keeping it in his toothbrush holder.

And they've been spending _a lot_ of time together off shift. Mostly in bed, but still. They've made dinner together a few nights and gotten take out more times than he can count. And they've hung out at his place and watched the game. Sure, they never hang out without having sex or at least doing… something, but he just holds onto the fact that this is so much different than last time. Before, they never really hung out after sex and now they almost always did. Yeah, everything is so much different than it used to be and so, he's convinced himself that this is slowly turning into something more.

He even went with her to look at condos. Sure, maybe she just needed a ride, but he likes to think that a part of her wanted him there- wanted his opinion.

And it's not as though she's seeing anyone else. At least, that he knows of. But surely, he would know if she was. Right?

He really wants to ask her what this is, but he knows he won't. At least not now. He doesn't want to scare her away. Plus, he's kind of worried that if he points out everything that's changed between them, she'll pull way back. And it still hasn't been that long since her breakup with Luke.

That's the other thing. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't worried that this is just some kind of rebound. I mean, he's not naïve enough to dismiss the fact that it started out that way - her simply wanting to forget and just feel better, but again, he's just hoping that it's started to turn into more over the past few weeks.

He wonders what she would say if he asked her out to dinner. She'd probably freak the fuck out.

Yeah, he's just got to ride this thing out for a while. He just really wishes he knew what she was thinking. He just wants to know that she'll come around eventually. Because as much as he is enjoying every second he spends with her, he really does want more. He wants to take her out on a real date- lots of real dates. He wants to wake up next to her every single morning. He wants to be able to kiss her and touch her whenever he wants, no matter where they are or who is watching. He wants all of her all of the time. He wants to know that she's _his_. He wants everyone else to know that she's _his_.

It's just that… he's pretty sure that he's really falling for her. And as much as that absolutely terrifies the shit out of him, he just… he doesn't want it to stop. Not when there's still hope that she could feel the same way… even if it's not right now.

As long as there's hope, he'll wait it out.

===============Secrets============

"So… how was your day?" He asks as he watches her throw on one of his t-shirts.

"Good… it's kind of nice getting some fresh air… riding horses," she tells him.

"You thinking about joining the horse police, McNally?" He teases.

"Mmm… I don't think so… I kind of suck at riding," she admits.

"You got a pretty good time," he reminds her.

"Yeah, well… someone _may_ have altered my time to make it better," she confesses with a shy smile.

"What?" He asks, obviously confused.

"The cop who was training us… He gave me a better time," she explains.

"Why would he do that?" He asks.

"He was buttering me up so I'd say yes when he asked me out," she shrugs.

His mouth goes dry at her confession, but he does his best to school his features. A knot starts forming in his stomach as he thinks about someone else asking her out and what her answer might have been.

"So, uh… Did it work?" He probes, hoping he doesn't sound _too_ curious.

"Hm?" She asks.

"Buttering you up… Did it work?" He elaborates, trying not to divulge how absolutely disgusted he is by the sheer thought of her going out with another man.

"Oh, uh, no. No, it didn't… I'm just… I'm not ready to date… Especially not _cops_ ," she adds.

He nods as he tries not to react. "Yeah, makes sense," he tells her. Suddenly, his mind is racing. He's going through every word spoken between them, every moment spent together, every piece of evidence he was sure pointed to the fact that whatever it was between them was heading somewhere. Was he misreading all of the signs? Was he just seeing what he wanted to see? Maybe this really was nothing more than sex and friendship. Maybe he's just imagining everything else.

She offers a smile and that's when he decides he _needs_ to get out of there.

"Well, uh… I better get going… Got work in the morning," he says, while getting out of her bed.

"Oh. Okay… I was going to make some dinner if you're hungry," she offers.

"No thanks," he declines, while he slips on his boxers and then his jeans. "Can I, uh… Can I have my shirt?" He asks, gesturing towards her.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry," she says, before lifting it over her head.

He tries not to look, but he can't help it. She's naked and she's… God, she's sexy.

She tosses the shirt at him, before she begins searching her room for her clothes. He forces himself to look away and throws his shirt on.

"Have you seen my jacket?" He asks.

"I think I threw it by the couch," she informs him, gesturing outside of her bedroom.

He nods and leaves her to go find it. Sure enough, it's lying on the floor beside the couch.

He takes a deep breath and wonders if he should just sneak out the door. Eventually, he convinces himself to go back into her bedroom and say goodbye. He's not sure if he's actually being discrete, but he doesn't want to bring any more attention to the fact that her declaration back there is having such an effect on him.

He walks back to her bedroom and sees her bending over to peek under the bed. She's wearing nothing but her bra and a really tiny thong, which is making all of this extremely difficult. She hears him come into the room and stands up while turning to look at him. He walks over to her and pulls her flush against his body as his fingers graze her sides. She slips her hand around the back of his head and stands on her toes as she pulls him in for a kiss. She keeps his head there, refusing to let him pull away, as she deepens the kiss. And as much as he needs to get out of there, he's okay to get lost in her for a moment.

When they finally pull away, she shoots him a smile and presses her lips against him one more time in a simple, quick kiss.

"See you tomorrow," she says with a whisper.

"Yeah, goodnight," he tells her, before turning around and leaving.

It's the look on his face that has her following him. As hard as it is to read him just about… always, she is pretty sure she knows why he's rushing out. She knows she shouldn't have said that thing about cops, but to be honest, she didn't think it would affect him like this. And as scary as it is, she decides she just can't let him leave like this.

"Sam, wait," she calls after him, still wearing nothing but her bra and underwear.

He turns around and finds her coming after him. "Yeah?" He asks, trying to only look at her face instead of all of the other places he'd really like to look.

She steps right up into his personal space and wraps her arms around his neck again. "Listen, what I said before… About dating… I- I just…"

"Andy, it's okay," he assures her.

"No, I just… I'm really happy with the way things are right now and I… I think that's all I can handle for the moment, you know? I mean, I've made so many mistakes when it comes to dating and I… I'm not sure I can really trust my own judgment right now… So, no matter how amazing I think someone is and no matter how sure I am about them, I'm just… I'm going to overthink and have doubts because of… because of everything that's happened and that wouldn't be fair to the guy, you know? I just… I have some stuff I need to work out before I start actually dating again… but when I do, I wouldn't be opposed to that person being a cop," she explains. She knows that he deserves an explanation that isn't so vague, but right now, this is all she can offer. She just hopes that, for the moment, this is enough.

He nods along with her words, accepting her explanation and actually feeling a hundred pounds lighter. "Okay," he tells her.

"So, if you need to go, I get it, but… you can stay if you want," she says with a shrug. "I have all the ingredients for pizza," she informs him with a smile.

"I love pizza," he beams.

"I know," she says, mirroring his expression before leaning in for a kiss.

===============Secrets============

"How long is that going to be in the oven?" He asks, while placing his hands on her hips as his fingers graze under the hem of her oversized Maple Leafs shirt. Despite his protests, she insisted that it was dangerous for her to cook in a bra and panties. Eventually they agreed on a compromise. She would only put on a shirt and he would change back into his t-shirt and boxers.

"Twenty minutes," she replies, inching closer to him.

"Well, I guess we better hurry," he says suggestively.

She giggles, wraps her arms around his neck and leans in to give him a kiss. The second their lips meet, he cups her ass and lifts her up. She wraps her legs around him and allows him to carry her to the couch. Eventually, they end up with him lying on the couch and her straddling his lap.

As their tongues continue to clash, their hands thoroughly explore each other. Within seconds, her bra and t-shirt are in a pile on the floor and she is lifting his shirt over his head. His hands immediately begin massaging her breasts, while she places kisses up and down his throat.

When she feels him getting hard against her, she lets out a moan and immediately begins circling her hips, giving them both some much needed friction. They let out a groan at the same time as Andy continues teasing him with her movements.

"Andy…" he growls.

She giggles and gives him a quick kiss before hopping off his lap, pulling his boxers down his legs and tossing them to the side and then doing the same with her underwear. She gets right back on his lap and his hands instinctively pull her down for a kiss. His tongue caresses hers as she runs her hand along his hard cock before guiding herself onto him. They're both groaning as she slowly takes him inside her. Once he's completely filling her up, she begins slowly rocking her hips while running her hands along his chest and lazily kissing him.

After a few minutes, she pulls back and braces herself with her hands on his chest. They lock eyes as she starts to bounce up and down on him. His hands immediately rest on her waist as he helps her go up and down.

"Oh… Oh _Fuck_ ," she moans. The expression on her face is insanely hot. He'll never get tired of seeing her with that look on her face. Eyes closed, chin in the air and teeth digging into her lip. That look of pure pleasure. And then the way her breasts are bouncing up and down. Yeah, he really cannot get enough of it.

When he bends his knees, she lets out a hard gasp. He's suddenly hitting her at the perfect angle and she can't stop the noises coming out of her mouth. "God, Sam," she whimpers in between the breathy moans coming out of her mouth.

She changes the tempo and starts riding him much faster. At the same time, he starts rocking his hips, which she immediately encourages. "God, I love when you do that," she moans.

Her breathing starts to quicken and he knows she's close, so he reaches down and runs his thumb along her clit, causing her to get _much_ louder.

"Sam… Sam… Oh God," she moans. And just a minute later, she's twitching all around him, causing him to spill inside of her soon after.

She rests her head against his shoulder and continues to circle her hips, allowing them to slowly come down from their orgasms. Once their breathing has regulated she lifts her head and presses her lips against his.

When the oven timer goes off a moment later, she pulls away and smiles at him. "Perfect timing," she quips.

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Well, there is another chapter! Hope everyone enjoyed!

Sadly, this story is actually coming to an end pretty soon. I know! Probably only two more chapters, possibly three.

BUT I have been toying around with starting another story that is very similar to this one. I actually got the idea when I was writing this and reading all of your reviews. Of course, no one liked the fact that Andy and Luke were together (me either!), but the premise of this story was to follow the show's storylines exactly, but with the idea of Sam and Andy secretly having sex. So, I started thinking about doing a story where I'd loosely follow storylines for the first two seasons, but from the perspective of Sam and Andy secretly being together. Basically, major events from the show would still happen, but they would not happen in the same way. For example, Andy would still kill someone, she would still get trapped in the laundromat, she would still work undercover as a waitress, but everything else would be different. Their reactions to these events, what happens during and after these events, etc. Am I making any sense at all? I'm not sure if I am, but hopefully you get the gist of it. It's basically – what would the show have looked like if Sam and Andy never disregarded that night in the parking lot?

Anyway, anyone care to see a story like that? Let me know.

And also, please let me know what you thought of this latest chapter!

Thanks!


	13. Epiphany

" _Is future you hooking up with Sam Swarek?"_

Tracy's words haunt her the entire drive to the barn. That was the last thing she expected to hear out of her best friend's mouth. She almost let it slip out that present her is hooking up with Sam Swarek, but luckily she was able to keep cool. She's actually kind of surprised that Tracey hasn't been more suspicious of the number of nights Andy has been "staying with her Dad," but she does have other things on her mind.

It's not like she hasn't thought about it. She has. She _really_ has.

And it's not like she doesn't want Sam. She does. She _really_ does.

For as much as she thought he was the absolute wrong guy for her, she's quickly realizing that she would be beyond lucky to be with him.

She knows he cares about her. He's been proving it to her ever since they met. Agreeing to fix the plumbing for Benny's foster mom. Comforting her after she killed someone. Trying to make her laugh during their trip to Sudbury. Telling her about his sister and why he became a cop. Lying to Luke because he thought that would make her happy. Spending hours searching the beach for bullets, trying to prove her father's innocence. Calming her down before their undercover op. Coming to her rescue when she caught a bullet in the vest or when she was stuck in a burned down laundromat. Offering to let her drive the squad car when he found out that Luke cheated on her. Letting her cry on his shoulder… more than once. Giving her rides to and from work when it's raining or if it's cold outside or just because.

She's come to find out that his bad-boy, no-strings, persona is kind of an act… at least when it comes to her.

So yeah, she knows that she could really be happy with him, but she's just… she's not ready. What she told him last week was the truth. She can't trust her own judgment right now. She was sure Luke was the right choice and look how that turned out. Now, she feels sure that Sam is the right choice and she couldn't handle it if she was wrong. For as hurt as she was when Luke cheated on her, she can't even imagine not having Sam in her life.

And what's wrong with what they have now? It's fun. It's not complicated. No one is getting hurt. It's exactly what she needs right now.

So yeah, nothing needs to change. Not right now. They have all the time in the world for change.

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He was going to say no. He was going to call Boyd right when he got off shift and turn down his offer.

There was no way he was going to leave Andy when she had been giving him so much hope recently. He was sure there was something brewing between them and even though he knew it wasn't going to happen in the immediate future, he didn't think it would be _too_ much longer. He just needed to be patient. And he would, for her.

But then he's sitting in the squad car listening to her go on and on about her ten year plan and suddenly, it dawns on him. Where is he in all of this? Is there even room for him in any of her plans?

She made it seem like she wanted this. _Them_. But now? Now he's thinking that she has no idea what she wants. Now he's wondering if he's just some sort of safety blanket for her until someone better comes along, someone who _will_ fit into all of her plans. Maybe he's been delusional these past few months, thinking that they've been getting closer, that she's been letting him in, that she'd want to truly be with him someday.

But maybe she's just stringing him along. Intentionally or not. She's just stringing him along…

This is just like the blackout all over again, with her feeling vulnerable and him coming to her rescue. Then, once he's done his job, she doesn't need or want him anymore and he's left alone and disappointed once again.

Yeah, maybe she keeps a toothbrush at his place and maybe she's had a few moments of jealousy, but what does that even mean? Not enough for her to want him, not for the long haul anyway. Right?

That's when he decides to talk to her. Maybe he's overthinking this. Maybe it's not what he thinks. Maybe she does want him to be a part of her plan.

"Saw an old pal of yours this morning," he begins.

"Who?" She wonders.

"Donovan Boyd," he replies.

"What'd I do wrong this time?" She asks sarcastically.

"He's setting up an U.C. operation. Cover apartment, new identity, whole nine yards," he explains.

"Cover apartment, huh?"

"This one is off the grid. Only contact is with Boyd and the team," he tells her.

"Yeah, for how long?"

"Weeks, months, maybe longer," he replies. He glances over at her, hoping to see some sort of reaction, some sort of disappointment. But no, she just nods her head. She doesn't seem upset at all. She doesn't look like she's going to miss him in the slightest.

So, that's when he decides he's going. He realizes that he's just been setting himself up for heartbreak again. He wants her more than anything and she… she just wants to save him for later. He feels like she's simply putting him on a shelf and leaving him there, just in case she needs him; just in case she can't find anyone better.

No. He can't do this anymore. He can't let her play with his heart like this. It just hurts too much. He needs to get away. He needs to get over her. He needs to get back to his old self, the person he was before she tackled him in that alley.

"I leave in three weeks," he informs her.

And to his surprise, she actually shows some sort of emotion.

"What? That's it? You're not even going to think about it?" She asks.

"What's there to think about?" He asks, giving her the perfect opportunity. He's silently begging her to ask him to stay, but he knows better. She'd never ask that of him. And of course, she doesn't. She says nothing, nothing at all.

So, that's it. He's going undercover again.

===============Secrets============

When he tells her he's leaving, she is upset, but then she realizes that maybe it's for the best. He's getting too close. She's becoming too attached and she just isn't ready for that. She is still banking on later.

But then, Leslie dies and Andy goes to feed her jerky cat. She listens to the demo that Leslie will never get to release and finds the bottle of champagne that she will never drink.

And suddenly, it all becomes clear.

God, what is she doing? Here she is waiting for later when she might not actually get a chance at later. With their jobs, later might never come.

That's when she flips open her phone and hits speed dial 3.

"Hey uh, look I just wanted to say that I… I know that I've got a plan, you know, and it's a great one, but screw it. Screw the plan because I don't want to save the good candy for later anymore, you know? I want to drink the champagne now and uh okay, you've got three weeks, right? So, let's make 'em count… starting tonight. I'm coming over," she declares before hanging up and rushing out the door.

Yeah, screw the plan. She wants the good candy. Right now.

===============Secrets============

He's been gone for a few weeks now and it should be getting easier, but no- it's not. Not even a little.

She's spent the past few weeks torturing herself. Overthinking at its finest, really. She can practically see him rolling his eyes at her and telling her to get out of her head. But she can't help it.

She's spent so much time thinking that maybe it just wasn't meant to be. Maybe she and Sam just weren't right for each other. Maybe he was just another relationship that she had misjudged. That is her M.O., after all- meet a guy, think he's the right one, and then turn out to be so, so wrong. It's happened so many times, she can't even begin to count. And now it's happened with him. Right?

The thing is, though, she was _so_ sure about Sam. More sure than she had ever been before.

And that's why convincing herself that nothing is actually meant to happen between them… it's so much harder than it should be.

Not for the first time, she chastises herself for waiting too long. For not telling him sooner. How she felt, how great she thought they could be together, how great she thought they already were together, how much he meant to her.

Why did she have to hide her feelings? Why couldn't she just be open and tell him that she wanted him. Wanted them.

And why did he have to leave? Why didn't he say goodbye?

And why did she have to let him leave? Why didn't she ask him to stay? Why didn't she tell him that she'd be here when he got back?

And that's when she starts to think about when he does come back. What will it be like? Will things have changed between them? Of course they will. How could they not?

How could she expect him to feel the same way after so much time has passed? She has no idea how long it will be and to be honest, it's not like she actually knows _how_ he feels… felt? Sure, she's had inklings, but he's never actually come out and said the words.

But neither has she.

God, why are they both so stubborn?

Why couldn't they just say how they're feeling? Why couldn't they be honest with each other? And why does everything always have to be so complicated with them?

So, that's when she makes a decision. The next time she sees him- no matter when it is- she is going to be honest. Even if she ends up making a complete fool of herself, she is going to tell him. She's going to tell him how much she wants him, how she hasn't stopped thinking about him, how she's missed him every single day, how she was an idiot for not telling him sooner, for not asking him to stay or making him promise that they'd be together whenever he returned.

Yeah, she's going to put it all out there. Lay it all on the line for him. And if he doesn't feel the same way… yeah it will hurt. It will crush her, actually. But at least then she'll know. At least there will be no more what-ifs. At least then, she can move on knowing for sure that nothing is meant to happen between the two of them.

She's even confessed her feelings to Tracy. And Chris. And Dov. And even Gail.

They basically all want to punch her in the stomach every time she mentions Swarek. Yeah, she's kind of been talking about nothing else but him since he left.

She leaves out all of their secret rendezvous and the multiple orgasms and the sleepovers and the massages and the late night talks and everything else they shouldn't know. She just tells him them what they seem to already be sure of. That she wants Sam and he left before she could say anything.

And she's glad she told them. She needs someone to hold her accountable. Make sure she doesn't chicken out when he does finally come home. She's determined to tell him. She's determined to tell him everything she should have said before he left… everything he needs to know.

And so then… she just sets herself up for the waiting.

The thing is, she _really_ hates waiting. Especially when she has her mind made up about something. She is just ridiculously impatient sometimes. And now is most definitely one of those times.

Lucky for her, she doesn't actually have to wait that long.

===============Secrets============

Okay so… you guys had to see that coming, right?

PLEASE REVIEW!


	14. Yearn

Sorry this took a bit longer than expected, but I'm kind of sad about this story coming to an end and I just wasn't ready to post it lol. This is the second to last chapter, so it's not over yet.

Enjoy!

===============Secrets============

When she sees him across the bar, it takes her a moment to realize that he's actually there. She's spent the past few weeks thinking about nothing but what it would be like to see him again and now that they're standing in the same room, she feels like she's probably just imagining the entire thing.

But she's not. She's not imagining it. He's standing right there, just a few feet away from her. And he looks good. Really good.

It takes all of her will power not to run up to him and jump in his arms the second she spots him. She's actually beyond proud of herself for her show of restraint in that moment. And in the moments afterward.

She does her best to be discreet. She doesn't want to jeopardize whatever he's got going on here, but she just really wants to look at him. And she can't help but feel a bit giddy when she catches him looking at her, too.

They share a few heated looks, but ultimately they can't really divulge much of what they're thinking. They're in public and they're pretending to be other people- other people who are complete strangers. Still, she just wants him to know that she's missed him.

She wonders if he can see it in her eyes- how much he means to her. She desperately just wants to get him alone for a minute so she can tell him- and so she can ask him what she means to him, but it's not like that's an easy feat.

But then, when Jamie challenges Tracy to a game of one on one, she thanks God that she can finally get him sort of alone. So, they sit at a table and chat about nothing. Or everything. She's not really sure.

When he tells her that he doesn't know why he got into this line of work- she wonders if that's his way of saying he misses her and that he wishes he never left.

And when she tells him that she's been lonely, she hopes he knows that's her way of saying that she misses him and that she wishes she gave him a reason to stay.

And then it's all over way too soon. They have to go. She's got to go back to her normal life- her life without Sam.

And as happy as she was to see him, saying goodbye to him is… just miserable. All she wants to do is wrap her arms around him and hug him until she finally feels like they're on the same page. But she knows she can't do that. As much as she wants to do just that, she's not going to endanger his cover in front of Jamie. She wants him to come home to her in one piece.

So yeah, she says goodbye and prepares herself for more waiting.

===============Secrets============

When she left him earlier that night, she really hadn't planned to come back. Really. She was going to wait.

But then, when she has to confront the idea of getting inside that ambulance and leaving Sam for who knows how long… she just can't. She knows it's a bad idea, but she just has to see him. She has to talk to him. She needs him to know how she feels.

She knows it's selfish, but she just can't be in limbo like this anymore. The past few weeks have been pure torture, she can't even imagine having to spend the next several months like this. She just needs to know where they stand. She needs to know if there is a chance for them whenever he comes home.

So, she tells Tracy she'll meet her at the station and she heads back to the Alpine.

And then, when he turns down her proposition, she feels completely deflated. She thinks that maybe she's misjudged his feelings for her. Maybe it _was_ just about sex, after all.

She's just about to completely spiral when she feels a hand on her shoulder.

"Let's go," he says with a smile as she turns around to face him. She allows a small smile to escape her lips and lets him lead the way.

Neither of them say anything for a while as they walk down the street. She's not sure where they're going, but she'd follow him anywhere right now.

She tries to think of something to say, but it's like her mouth is sewn shut. She just doesn't want to say the wrong thing. Every once in a while, she allows herself to steal a glance at him and it seems like he's deep in thought as well. Eventually, the silence becomes too much and she just needs him to say something- anything at all.

"So…" she begins.

He stops to look at her and he just stares for a moment. It takes him a minute to figure out what it is he wants to say. Honestly, he's been in a bit of haze ever since spotting her from across the room earlier tonight. And then she came back and yeah, he's basically in shock.

"So, what is this? Some kind of booty call?" He eventually asks. He hopes he sounds like he is teasing, but in reality, he just wants her assurance that it isn't.

"No," she says simply as she flashes him a smile.

"No?" He asks with more than a hint of surprise.

"No," she repeats, slowly shaking her head.

He nods and waits for her to say something- anything, but she doesn't.

"So… what is it then?" He probes.

"I… I don't know," she shrugs. "I just… I really needed to see you… I never even got the chance to say goodbye," she reminds him.

"I know… Boyd showed up and I only had five minutes before we had to leave and I had to call Sarah and Frank, so I just… didn't have time," he lies. The truth is, he could have called her, but he didn't. He knew that hearing her voice would make him change his mind and he was done torturing himself.

She nods and they continue walking down the street. "So you didn't get my message?" She inquires after a minute or so.

"What message?" He asks.

"I left you a message… a voicemail," she clarifies.

"I figured… What did it say?" He wonders.

"That I was done saving the good candy," she shrugs. He gives her a look, willing her to explain- to actually say the words, but she's just looking at her feet as they walk down the street.

"Andy, what does that mean?" He asks, desperately.

She stops walking again and turns to look at him. "Look, Sam… I… I've just been… terrified, okay? I've been scared shitless of having something more with you. I guess I just thought that I had time… that _we_ had time, but then everything happened with Leslie… You remember the girl I saved from the car on your last day?" She asks.

He nods.

"Well she died after she got to the hospital," she informs him.

"Oh. What happened?" He asks.

"Blood clot," she replies.

"Andy, you did everything you could. It wasn't your fault," he assures her with a hand on her shoulder.

"I know, just… she was a songwriter… and… and she told me how she had this amazing bottle of champagne waiting for her after she released her first demo, but that bottle had been sitting on her counter for over two years. She just always thought she'd have more time, but… but then she died and she never got to drink that champagne," Andy explains. "And so I guess I just thought… what am I doing? With our jobs, something could happen at any second and here I am just waiting and thinking that I'll have all the time in the world to get my act together and be with you… I guess I just realized that always saving the good candy for later means having a lifetime full of bad candy."

He's just staring at her now and it's making her nervous. Her mind is racing and once again, she's starting to wonder if she's misread every single sign. Maybe he doesn't feel that way about her. Maybe he's thinking she's absolutely insane. She definitely feels insane, so it's not such a stretch.

"Say something," she pleads.

But, he doesn't. He doesn't say anything. He just cups her face and leans in to kiss her. She stands on her toes and meets him in the middle. Their lips crash against each other and he walks her a few steps backwards until her back is against the side of a building. His mouth coaxes hers open, allowing their tongues to dance as his fingers get tangled in her hair. She wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him even closer, so their bodies are flush against each other. When she lets out a low moan, he finally pulls away.

"Let's go inside," he says squeezing her hand and pulling her towards his building.

"Okay," she nods as he takes her hand.

She waits outside the door while he turns off the cameras. "C'mon," he says once he's turned them all off.

"So what, you can just turn the cameras off? They don't care?" She asks as Sam flips the lights on and she starts to remove her coat.

"I've gotta have some kind of life, right?" He says while flashing his dimples and reaching for her coat.

"I guess," she smiles and hands her coat to him.

"I'm gonna call you a cab, it's gonna take you to the station and you're gonna get in your uniform," he tells her, using her coat as a barrier. He's giving her one last chance to change her mind. As much as it'll hurt if she does, it will hurt that much more if she has regrets later on.

Then, he just watches as she walks further into his apartment before turning around to face him. "No," she says as she starts to unbutton her shirt from the bottom.

He just stands there for a moment, watching her and still holding her coat. As he starts to walk over towards her, she sits at the head of his kitchen table. Eventually, he settles right in front of her and places her coat to the side.

"If you don't leave now, there's no going back," he warns.

"I don't want to go back," she tells him. His heart does a flip at her words and he puts one hand on her waist, while the other strokes her cheek. He hovers over her lips for a moment, giving her one last out, but when she lifts her chin to meet him in the middle, he finally gives in.

He starts out slow and cautious, still wary of the fact that even though they've done this countless times before, _this_ is something different. What they're doing now is much more than whatever they were doing before and that's exactly how he wants it to be… different.

As her lips start moving against his, he slides his hand down her side until it lands back on her waist. He pulls her closer to him and their hands begin exploring each other. She starts pushing his shirt up his body and he pulls away to help her lift it above his head.

Her eyes immediately rake over his chest. It has been too long since she's seen him like this and she wants to enjoy it for a moment.

He watches her and pushes the bangs out of her eyes, while she caresses his cheek. Eventually, he begins giving gentle kisses along her throat and her jaw before he places a quick kiss on her lips and pulls away to look at her. Their eyes meet for a moment before he finishes unbuttoning her shirt, while her hands rest on his chest. Once he's got the last button undone, he opens her shirt, takes a quick peek and pulls her closer, while brushing his nose against hers.

Suddenly, he's lifting her up bridal style, her arms are wrapped around his neck and he's kissing her while carrying her over to his bed. He gently puts her down at the end of his bed, so her feet are barely touching the ground, while he climbs on top of her and continues to kiss her. When he starts to pull away, her lips follow him, refusing to let him go as she removes her hair clip and tosses it aside. Eventually, she's sitting up and he's got one knee in between her legs as he pushes her shirt off her shoulders before throwing it on the ground. His hands immediately cup her face as he leans in for a kiss, but then they quickly move to graze her sides, allowing himself to explore her body again.

Soon, his lips are leaving hers and making their way towards her neck as she is leaning back, propping herself up with her hands behind her. When his hands land on her back, he starts to pull her closer to him and uses the knee that is still in between her legs to lift her up a bit. She lets out a quiet gasp at the friction he's created and he just watches her for a moment while her hands move from caressing his neck to the back of his head. He thrusts his knee in between her again and watches as she throws her head back and makes that same breathy gasp. He uses the hand on the small of her back to pull her up again and kisses her before his focus returns to her throat.

She lets out a sigh as she enjoys the feel of his lips on her neck again. God, she's missed this- missed him.

Her hands start to travel down his chest until they rest on his belt loops for a second. Eventually, she starts to unbuckle his belt and then moves to unbutton and unzip his jeans. She pushes them down as far as she can before he climbs off of her and removes them all the way. When he climbs back on top of her, he kisses her and coaxes her mouth open before his tongue starts to stroke hers.

After a minute, she feels him unhooking her bra and before she knows it, it's in a pile on the floor and his lips are on her breasts. She instinctively arches her back into him as he uses a hand to massage one breast while his mouth is on the other. Eventually, he switches and gives the opposite breast some attention with his mouth while he cups the other with his hand.

Minutes later, he starts to place kisses down her stomach before he finally gets to her jeans. They are both watching each other while he kneels at the end of the bed and works on removing them. When he pulls them down her legs and lets them fall to the floor, he crawls back on top of her and starts kissing her again. His hands begin to explore the newly exposed skin, as his fingers graze up her thigh before landing on her ass. Eventually, he pulls away from her and changes positions, so he ends up lying on his side right next to her. They lock eyes as his hand slowly moves down her stomach until he gets to the tip of her underwear. He slowly traces the skin right above her panties with his finger, causing goosebumps to travel up her body. His hand sneaks further down until he swipes a finger in between her legs. He can feel how wet she is through her underwear and it's driving him a bit crazy. As his finger moves up and down her, she is bucking her hips at him, begging for more, but he just wants to go slow- wants to savor every second. He runs gentle circles in her center with his finger and watches the reaction in her eyes.

" _Sam_ ," she pleads as she tugs at his shoulders.

"Patience," he says with a light chuckle as he moves to straddle her lap again. He slowly slides her underwear down her legs as he places kisses all the way down. Once her panties are around her ankles, he stands at the end of the bed and carefully removes them before throwing them aside. He takes a second to glance at the beautiful woman in his bed and their eyes meet. She has propped herself up a bit and holds out a hand for him.

"Come here," she says, softly.

He nods and removes his boxers before crawling back on top of her.

He brushes her nose with his as her hands run up and down his back.

"I've really missed you," she whispers.

"Me too," he replies. "Really, really missed you," he adds as he pushes some hair out of her face.

She smiles, wraps her hand around the back of his neck and pulls him down for a kiss. He lets himself get lost in the kiss for a moment, but then she's grabbing him and guiding him inside her and he finally gives in.

He thrusts inside her, enjoying the sounds of the familiar gasp coming out of her mouth. His fingers graze her skin as he places gentle kisses along her throat while he slowly pumps in an out of her.

"Sam," she says, half whispering and half gasping.

He pulls away and is hovering over her, leaving enough space between them so he can really look at her. He's still going slow, thrusting in and out of her while they engage in some kind of staring contest.

The way he's looking at her, she doesn't think anyone has ever looked at her like this. She's not sure what it is exactly, but it makes her feel vulnerable. He's looking deep inside of her and it's like he can see everything. And that should terrify her, but it doesn't. Not even a little.

He runs his hand along her jaw and they exchange a smile. Then, he leans in and gives her one of the best kisses of her life. When the need for air becomes too great, he reluctantly pulls away and returns his focus to her neck. He continues to suck at the skin along her throat and collarbone as he finally begins to pick up the pace a little.

Andy arcs her back into him and it's got him at an amazing angle. She's digging her fingers into his skin and moaning as his tongue runs along the outside of her ear.

"God, Sam… I …. I _really_ missed you," she tells him again in between gasps.

"Me too," he groans in her ear, causing goosebumps to travel along her body.

"Shit. _Sam_ ," she sobs as he changes the angle and is now hitting in her the absolute perfect spot. "God, I love when you do that," she moans as she closes her eyes and throws her head back.

"God, you… you feel _so_ good," he tells her minutes later, again allowing his breath to hit her ear and send a shiver down her spine.

"Sam," she gasps, as he ups the tempo again. She's gripping him much harder now and she's clenching her muscles, which only drives them both crazy.

"Oh… Oh… Oh fuck," she moans as she feels her orgasm building up inside of her. That's when he pulls away again to watch her. He pushes her hair out of her eyes and cups her face with one hand. She meets his gaze and the look he's giving her is enough to send her over the edge.

She moans and gasps throughout the whole thing and it only takes him a few more thrusts before he's collapsing on top of her.

She's had sex with Sam many times, but this was… not at all like anything they've ever done before. Instead of sex, it was… making love. And she's not one to _ever_ use those words. In fact, she pretty much cringes anytime someone else uses them, but she can't think of any other way to describe what they've just done. The way he kissed her, touched her, looked at her. It was slow and raw and seriously amazing. And she knows that coming here was stupid and an absolutely horrible idea, but she just can't bring herself to regret it. Not when it led to being here- with him.

"I'm really glad I ran into you tonight," he tells her, as his fingers graze up and down her bare back, effectively breaking her out of her thoughts.

She grins at him and leans in for a kiss. "Do you think the universe has a plan? For us?"

===============Secrets============

One more chapter and then this story is over… I know, I'm sad about it, too, but I've got some other stories in the works.

I just posted a new story called Roommates yesterday, and I've got two others I'm playing around with. One is the story I mentioned on here a couple chapters ago and then I've got another one rolling around in my head, so we'll see.

Don't forget to review!


	15. Real

Well, I'm guessing everyone has probably forgotten about this story because it's been so unbelievably long, but I was having a hard time finding a good ending. I'm still not completely happy with it, but if I didn't post something, I'd probably overanalyze the thing to death.

Anyway, I hope you like it. And thank you to everyone who reviewed along the way. It means so much to me!

==========Secrets==========

It's been maybe six minutes since they finished round two and they've just now caught their breath.

She glances at the clock and a frown crosses her face; she knows she really needs to go soon or else she'll definitely be late. They don't have much time and there's so much she wants to say, but she doesn't even know how to begin.

"You okay?" He asks, as he runs his hand down her side. He can see her mind working overtime and it's making him a bit nervous. Part of him still expects her to say that this whole thing was a mistake. And yeah, he _really_ doesn't want to hear that.

"Yeah," she nods while biting her lip. The fact that she's fighting back tears makes her feel silly, but she's just really going to miss him. And she can't help but worry about what's going to happen. Is he going to be okay? Is he going to come back to her in one piece? Is he still going to feel the same way about all of this when he returns? Not that she actually knows exactly how he feels…

He said that he missed her. He said they couldn't go back.

But how will he feel in three months? Or six? Or ten?

"Andy…" he says, capturing her from her thoughts.

"Hm?"

"What are you thinking about?" He asks, as he pushes a lock of hair behind her ear.

"I'm just thinking that… that I wish I didn't have to leave," she admits.

He lets out the breath he had been holding since asking the question. "Me too," he concurs.

"I mean… who knows when we'll even see each other again," she muses.

"Hopefully I can wrap this case up quick," he replies.

"Please do," she requests.

"Well, let's just say that now I have even more motivation to get home," he smiles.

She mirrors the expression and leans in for a kiss. "Ugh. I really need to get going soon. Boyd is going to murder me if I'm late," she whines.

"Yeah," he nods as he brings her lips back to his.

Twenty minutes later, he's regretfully leading her to his front door. When they get there, she turns around to look at him and gives him a sad smile. "This sucks," she tells him with a pout.

"I'm really gonna miss you," he tells her as he runs his fingers through her hair.

"Me too," she says, pulling him into a hug and holding onto him tight. She buries her face in his neck and just breathes in his scent while he runs his hand up and down her back. She's just trying to soak up the moment and commit it to memory so she can call back on it during their time apart. She doesn't ever want to forget how at peace she feels when he's got his arms tightly wrapped around her and he's pressing several kisses to her forehead.

After a minute, she gives him a passionate kiss and then remorsefully pulls away. "Be safe, okay?" She tells him.

"You too," he says as he squeezes her hand. He leans in and gives her a few more kisses before he watches her walk out of his life.

He desperately wants to pull her back into his arms and make her promise that she'll still be there when he gets back- that she'll be waiting for him, that she won't change her mind, but instead, he closes his front door and tells himself that he is going to do everything he can to get back to her soon.

==========Secrets==========

Sam collapses on the couch as he continues to fidget with his phone. His heart and his brain have been at war with each other for the past hour. He knows he shouldn't call her, but it is absolutely the _only_ thing he wants to do.

Ever since the other night, he hasn't been able to focus on anything but her. She has consumed his every thought for the past three days. He just needs to see her. He needs to know what that night _meant_. He has been driving himself crazy. He feels like her, overanalyzing every moment, every word spoken between them. She said no going back, but it doesn't stop him from worrying that she'll change her mind. Will she wait for him? Will she still feel the same when he returns after so much time has passed? Who knows how long he is going to be undercover, especially considering the fact that he hasn't been able to think about anything but her for the past three days.

Fuck it.

He dials her number. And his heart pounds as he waits for her to pick up.

"Hello?" When she answers the call, he can barely hear her over the background noise, but even barely hearing her voice causes a wave of relief to flush over him.

"Hey… it's me," he says.

"I can't hear you," she tells him.

"It's me," he repeats a little louder. "Do you feel like doing something incredibly stupid?" He asks with a smirk.

"I'm coming over," she tells him decisively while a smile plays on her lips.

==========Secrets==========

She hops up the steps to his undercover apartment with a permanent grin planted on her face. She practically ran out of the bar, constantly tapping her foot in anticipation on the cab ride over here. Her mind hasn't stopped racing. She knows this is a horrible idea. She knows she shouldn't be coming back here, but she can't talk herself out of it. Going there was supposed to be a one-time thing, but how could she only do _that_ once?

When she gets to the top step, he is already standing there, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed and a smile taking over his face.

"Hey," he says, his smile widening.

"Hey," she replies, stepping toward him. They are roughly a foot apart, just staring at each other with big grins on their faces, neither of them realizing that it is absolutely freezing outside.

A car alarm going off in the distance finally shakes them out of their daze.

"Come on," Sam says, grabbing her hand.

"Did you turn the cameras off?" She whispers.

"Yes," he confirms before pulling her inside. Once inside, Andy takes off her coat and hands it to Sam, causing a wave of déjà vu to wash over them.

As Sam hangs up her coat by the door, Andy walks further into the apartment. The only light is coming from the wood stove, where a fire has been roaring for some time.

He walks over to her and immediately wraps his arms around her, pulling her into a kiss. Her arms slip around his neck and she smiles against his lips.

"Hi," she says with a grin when they pull apart.

"Hi," he responds.

After a moment of staring and smiling, she lets out a shiver.

"You cold?" He asks, as he runs his hands up and down her arms, trying to warm her up.

She nods. "It's freezing out there," she informs him.

"Let's get you by the fire," he suggests.

"Okay," she nods. He gestures for her to sit on his bed, while he starts wandering around the apartment collecting blankets and pillows.

"What are you doing?" She inquires as he begins laying blankets down on the ground in between his bed and the wood stove.

"Setting up a place for us to sit," he shrugs as he tosses some pillows down on top of the blankets.

"Wow. I didn't realize J.D. was such a romantic," she quips. "Maybe he can teach Sam a few things," she teases.

"Hey," he says with a furrowed brow. "This is all Sam," he informs her.

"Oh yeah?" She grins.

"Mhm." He says, leaning in for a kiss. She lifts her head to meet his halfway and he lingers for a second before pulling away. He grabs her hand and pulls her up so she is standing right next to him. Then, he sits down on the nest of blankets and pillows he's created, so his back is leaning against the end of his bed.

"C'mon," he says, patting the space next to him.

She smiles seductively and instead of sitting next to him, she hops on his lap and straddles him as her arms go around his neck. He grins and wraps his arms around her and brushes his nose against hers. "Hey," he says, softly.

"Hey," she replies with her own smile completely overtaking her face.

"I'm really glad you're here," he tells her.

"Me too," she agrees before she pulls him in for a kiss.

It starts off slow, but once she parts her lips and he slips his tongue inside her mouth, things start to heat up. He's tugging her closer- as close she can get- and his hands are sneaking underneath her shirt as her fingers run through his hair. Soon, he's pulling away and beginning to work on her neck while pushing her shirt up over her head. That's when his attention quickly turns to her chest. He places several kisses on the tops of her breasts while she busies herself with attempting to remove his shirt. Once it's thrown in a pile on the floor, her hands begin skimming his chest as he coninues to nip at her throat.

Moments later, he unhooks her bra and immediately gets his mouth on her breasts. She closes her eyes and lets out a whimper at the contact, which only encourages him more. That's when she tugs his head to her lips and kisses him hard. Their tongues are swirling around their mouths and she's grinding her hips into him, making him groan. She smiles and slips her hand in between them so she can unbuckle his belt. Then, she crawls off his lap so he can get out of his jeans while she removes her own. A minute later, she's climbing back onto his lap and pulling him in for another passionate kiss.

Eventually, they part and she starts to kiss his neck as his hands travel down her body and land on her ass, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Really missed you," she says in between each kiss to his neck.

He immediately shuffles around and gets her face in one hand so he can look her in the eyes. "Really missed you, too," he tells her before leaning in for a kiss.

And she can just _feel_ how much he means it. The look in his eyes, the feel of his warm hands, the tone of his voice- yeah, he means it.

She starts to circle her hips a bit, causing them both to let out some noise. She does it a few more times before she starts to move down his body and pull his boxers off. And then, he watches as she gets her own underwear off. He holds out his hand for her and she grabs it, effectively letting him pull her back onto his lap.

She immediately gets on her knees and straddles him as she lines them up and takes him all the way in until she's sitting in his lap again.

"Andy…" he says as he pushes some hair out of her face. His voice sounds a bit helpless, which is exactly how she feels. The effect he has on her… she's not sure what it is, but she's pretty sure she has the same effect on him.

She immediately grabs his face with both hands and pulls him in for a kiss. But a couple beats later, she pulls away. They lock eyes as she slowly rocks her hips and lets out a gasp as his hands roam her body. When he starts to suck on the tip of her breast, she begins moving faster as she lets even more noise.

" _Sam_ ," she moans as she throws her head back. After all of this time, she still has no idea how sex with Sam can feel this good.

A few minutes later, she gets both hands on his shoulders and starts to bounce up and down on him while he gets his hands on her ass and helps her build a rhythm.

She's making an obscene amount of noise now, but he just can't get enough. Watching her like this… he wouldn't mind doing it for the rest of his life.

"Sam… God… Oh God," she moans as her fingers dig into his shoulders.

"Christ, Andy," he groans. The expression of her face and the noises coming out of her and the way her breasts are bouncing right in front of his… Yeah, it's getting to be too much.

She starts moving faster and he can tell that she is really close, which… thank God. So, he slides one hand down her body until he gets in between her legs and starts to tease her clit. And it's just seconds later that she's completely coming apart at the seams- shuddering all around him and making a ton of noise. And just seconds later, he loses it with her.

Afterwards, she rests her head on his shoulder while they both try to catch their breath. "Been thinking about that ever since I left here the other day," she tells him in between the panting.

"Yeah, me too," he agrees as his hands roam her back and he places a kiss on her temple. And they stay like that for God knows how long, just holding each other and trying not to think about the obvious clock on their time together.

Eventually, she pulls away enough so she can look him in the eyes. She gives him a smile and then a few kisses. "I'm really glad you called," she tells him, still smiling.

"Yeah?" He asks as he fingers a lock of her hair.

"Yeah, it's been hard… not being able to talk to you or see you… and not really knowing what's going on with us…" She tells him with a hint of vulnerability in her eyes.

"No going back remember?" He reminds her, as his fingers graze her bare skin.

"I remember… just wanted to make sure you did," she smiles.

"Andy… I'm _in_ this, okay? I know it's probably not fair to ask you to wait for me, but… when I do get back, I want us to be together… for real," he tells her.

"Really?" She asks with a smile.

"Yeah," he nods, before pulling her in for a kiss.

"Me too," she tells him when they pull away. "And I was _always_ going to wait for you," she tells him with a smile.

==========Secrets==========

Well, that's the end. Like I said, not completely happy with the ending, but it'll have to do. I should also be posting the end of Pretend this week, so look out for that.

A lot of my stories are coming to an end actually, so if anyone has any ideas for a new one, I'd love to hear them!

And don't forget to review!


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